My Angel
by Saphira112
Summary: Tsuzuki is walking home during a snowy night and finds a young boy with no home. He takes the boy in and decides to care for him. Although, the boy holds a strange secret, one that is too good to be true. Tsuzuki/Hisoka
1. Finding Me

My Angel

Chapter One

The day was cold and the clouds dark, the sky veiled by overcastting weather with promise of snow and chilly winds nipping the air. It was the normal weather for the month of December, weather to be expected of every year, especially around Christmas, which was to many people's liking. A blizzard Christmas Eve was the so called "perfect weather" and many of the citizens in Japan loved it. In addition, a peaceful snowfall on Christmas morning was approved of as well.

Tsuzuki Asato was also one for this kind of weather. When Christmas came, which he shared with his friends and co-workers, he liked to watch the falling crystals outside as they made their slow journey down to earth. It seemed ironic that snowflakes were like sakura petals from the sakura trees he saw bloom every year in the nearby park. He liked the comparison and wondered how it differed from leaves that came from Japanese maple trees. He did not have an answer for that as of yet.

Right now, he was walking home from work, wrapped up in his trench coat and a scarf, braving the freezing winds and the few snowflakes that had just begun to fall in his path. Others were around, also trying to get home as he was, some of them greeting as they passed, to which he returned their gestures with a smile. He liked Christmas a lot, mostly because the people on this day and mostly throughout the month were very kind to one another, even if bitter rivalries normally tore them apart.

Tsuzuki knew he was not too far from his apartment, only a few blocks, if he was going in the right direction. Everything seemed familiar and he knew he was heading right where he wanted to go. He had considered stopping by a small café on the way, to get some ho chocolate, but figured that it would be cold by the time he got home, so he decided against it, instead thinking about making it at home instead.

He reached his apartment in better time than he thought he did. The only thing he did not like about his apartment, besides the fact that it was too quiet and lonely, was that it was right next to an alleyway. The alleyway seemed to have a dark feel around it and it scared Tsuzuki when he had to walk past it to get to the front door. Normally, he'd take the long way around to avoid it, but this time, he was more desperate to get inside and turn on the fireplace than to face the dreadful alleyway.

There was always something lurking in the alleyway that gave Tsuzuki goosebumps, but the part of him that would normally be scared to think about it told him to go in it once before going inside the house. After all, the alleyway shielded and anyway, it wouldn't hurt, but it was odd to hear it straight from the side that least wanted to think about it.

He peeked into the alleyway as he walked past slowly, hoping to see nothing, but he was amazed and surprised to see a small figure huddled against the wall, their body shaking violently, even though no wind made it inside the secluded area.

Concerned as he always was, he ran over to the figure, surprised to see it was a boy, around in his teen years with dirty blonde hair that caught the mall snowflakes as they landed there. His head was down and his body, Tsuzuki saw, was clad in only a pair of white Capri pants and a black tank top, certainly not made for this weather. There was also a glittering golden sash around his waist.

Tsuzuki gently placed a hand on the boy's cheek, nearly withdrawing it in shock. His pale face was as cold as the ice that fell from the sky and he did not respond to the touch. A little frightened now, he gently shook the boy's shoulder and put his fingers to the boy's neck, relieved to be getting a pulse. He tapped the boy's cheek, and then placed his hand upon it.

Ever so slightly, the head moved, lifting up to see who it was that had disturbed him. Startling emerald eyes that were very wide looked up through a hazy veil of tiredness, meeting Tsuzuki's amethyst eyes. The green eyes of the unknown boy blinked for a few moments, before they closed again and head rolled off to the side, unconsciousness claiming the fragile youth once again as a barely audible moan released from those dusty pink lips.

Worried that the boy would get sick and possibly die out in the cold, Tsuzuki took off his coat and wrapped it around the boy's shoulders, picking him up off the snowy round around him, slipping the boy's arms into the long sleeves of the trench coat. He cradled the boy in his arms and walked out of the alleyway, pulling out his apartment keys and inserting the single silver key into the lock. He opened the door, closing it behind him with his foot.

He walked into to his bedroom, placing the unknown youth on his bed, unraveling the cold coat from around him. He did not think that the boy would be warm in a coat that had been on him while he was out in the snow. He tucked the covers of the bed around the boy's shaking form, pausing only once to see a necklace around his neck. It was beautiful.

It was a silver metal chain with a silver clasp, attaching a cross pendant with a rose imprinted on it in the middle, surrounded by what looked like to be ancient words that Tsuzuki could not read, nor could if he tried, because the print was too small. Nevertheless, they did indeed look like letters. He wondered where a boy had gotten such a beautiful necklace. It seemed to suit him, Tsuzuki noticed, in many ways, many more than just one.

He tucked the covers around the boy to ease the shivering and sat back in a nearby chair, watching as the shivers died down, the cold feeling seemingly beginning to vanish and calm, even breaths escaped the teenager. Tsuzuki sighed in relief before placing a hand to that pale forehead, checking for fever, which he was relieved not to find. At the simple contact, however, he watched as the head moved and a pained groan escaped the small mouth. Elegant eyelashes fluttered as the eyelids slid back, revealing the green eyes again that were veiled with the same tiredness as a few minutes ago.

"You're awake," Tsuzuki said gently, causing the head to whip around in his direction, confusion playing across that pale face. "I'm relieved."

The face turned from him to look at the ceiling, eyes blinking as though trying to focus, trying to figure out the surrounding he had been placed it. For him, it was strange not to see the alleyway wall, as it had bee the last thing he had seen before he had been knocked out and then found by this mysterious man.

"Where am I?" he asked quietly, his voice like the coo of a dove, soft and wavering, hesitation in asking such a question shining through all emotions. Tsuzuki smiled gently at him.

"This is my place," he answered the boy. "I found you outside in the cold and decided that you'd be better off in here rather than out there."

The boy shakily tried to sit up, but his body wouldn't cooperate, as his limps were still somewhat frozen from outside. He cringed as he slipped back, hitting his head against the headboard. Tsuzuki rushed over and helped him sit up properly, handing him two painkillers to help the headache. The boy did not seem to want to take the pills; instead, he placed them on the nightstand, not looking at them.

"Are you all right?" Tsuzuki asked, concerned for boy's health. The teen looked at him for a moment before glancing out the window, watching frost collect at the edges of it, as though he had never once before seen it.

"I'm all right," he answered quietly, his voice still carrying the soft heavenly tone that seemed to make the room warmer each time he opened his mouth to speak. It was incredible. "Who are you?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," Tsuzuki apologized, releasing he hadn't introduced himself. "My name is Tsuzuki Asato, but you can just call me Asato if you'd like. And your name is…?"

"Hisoka," he answered, not breaking his gaze from the window. "Just Hisoka."

"Well, Hisoka, you may stay here as long as you'd like while you recover from the cold," Tsuzuki offered kindly. "By the way, may I ask you why you were out there?"

For a moment, a flash of fear crossed the angelic features, the green eyes widening a fraction and a frown displaying itself upon his lips before it was gone as though it were never there. He shook his head slightly before answering, "I got lost… sort of."

"Hmm, I see," Tsuzuki mused, leaning back in his chair as he seated himself again. "Do you live around here?"

Hisoka shook his head again, a bit faster this time. "No, not exactly."

"Where do you live? Because maybe I can take you back home when you feel better," Tsuzuki suggested, wanting to know more about this mysterious boy by the minute.

Another shake of the head was the answer. It seemed to be a reflex; something the boy was used to doing when answering questions directed at him. "It's too far, but thanks for your offer."

"Well, would you like to stay here, then?" Tsuzuki offered for the second time that night. "I can't really let you go out on your own in the cold."

Hisoka turned to stare at the amethyst-eyed man with a look that plainly was wondering why he would offer something like that. His emerald eyes clouded over in a hazy confusion and a pure dumbstruck expression fixed itself on his face. Tsuzuki smiled at the expression. He couldn't help but admit it looked cute on the boy.

"Are you sure?" Hisoka asked hesitantly, the calming angel voice wavering in its words as the boy returned to looking back out the window. "I won't be a burden, will I?"

Tsuzuki shook his head, his smile almost reaching from ear to ear. "Of course not! Besides, I wouldn't mind the company. In fact, I prefer the company. You can stay as long as you'd like."

For a second, a flicker of a smile was seen on the boy's face before it vanished. "Thank you…"


	2. Carrying Me

Recommended listening for this chapter: _Book of Days_ by **Enya**

My Angel

Chapter Two

The next morning was dark and cold, the frost that had been collecting at the edges of the windows now obstructing most of the view outside as the blizzard continued its path downward, building up on sidewalks and streets and making it harder for people to move around in the now knee deep snow. No one could honestly tell it was morning, with how dark it was, the grey overcast clouds blocking all view of the normally blue sky and bright sun.

Emerald eyes fluttered open sleepily, appearing again from the darkness within mind. A corn silk hand came up to rub out the tired look from those startling eyes, focusing and mind registering where the owner was. The hand that had been adjusting the sight of eyes came up to run itself through the mop of ashen blonde hair, brushing it out of the tired eyes.

The green eyes closed again as the owner of them sat up, throwing the warm comforter off his upper body. He looked down, relieved to see his necklace still there, and realized he was in the same outfit as last night, the same blank tank top and white Capri pants. He knew he probably should not have worn such clothing when treading through snowy cold streets, but he did not seem to fit with anything else.

Sighing, the teen threw off the comforter completely, moving his legs and placing his feet silently on the floor, not making a sound as he pulled himself off the bed, walking wordlessly across the polished floor that seemed to warm at the simple touch of skin to wood. He realized the temperature in the house was warmer than it had been last night and he checked the thermostat. It read 75 degrees Fahrenheit, and as he watched, it went down a single degree. He walked out of the foreign bedroom and turned a corner, accidentally bumping into someone.

"Oh, gomen nasai," he apologized, rubbing his already sore head.

"Hisoka?"

The boy looked up to meet the soft amethyst eyes he had seen the previous night, regarding him with mild curiosity and concern. "You feel any better this morning?"

The teen nodded gratefully. "I am fine, thank you. What about you?"

Tsuzuki smiled a simple carefree kind of smile and answered, "I'm actually pretty good this morning. I was going to come and wake you in a few minutes, but you're already up."

The boy nodded, casting his eyes towards the window not far from his left. He was disappointed to see the snow continuing down faster than he had seen ten minutes ago from the bed. He couldn't go out in this.

"Ne, Hisoka?" Tsuzuki asked, waving a hand in front of his face. The green eyes looked up at him silently, showing that the owner of them was listening intently.

"Would you like to take a shower and change?" he offered. "It may help you feel better."

"I appreciate the offer, Tsuzuki-san," Hisoka began. "But I have nothing to change into."

"Please, just call me Tsuzuki," Tsuzuki said with a smile. "Using _'san'_ makes sound so old. And I think I can find you something to change into don't worry."

"I-I think I've troubled you enough," Hisoka stuttered, but he just got his hair ruffled as a response and a small chuckle from the man before him.

"It's no trouble at all," Tsuzuki reassured, letting go of the soft hair that his fingers had been in a moment ago. "I said before, you may stay as long as you'd like. Now go on, take a shower and I'll bring in something for you to change into."

A light blush staining the porcelain cheeks, Hisoka turned around and headed into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He walked over to the sink and cabinets, looking at his reflection. His hair was tousled into its normal mop form and his green eyes were wide as ever. His pale creamy skin felt cold to the touch, but he knew a hot shower would take care of that.

He opened up the first cabinet and took out a large fluffy white towel that felt warm to the touch, at least, warm compared to his still cold clothes. He placed the towel by the shower and lifted his arms up, throwing off his black tank top, which landed silently on the floor at his feet. He unfastened the golden sash around his waist, letting it slip beside his shirt before dressing out of his Capri pants, letting them slowly slide down to ankles before he stepped out of them completely, leaving them behind as he walked to the shower.

He reached in and flipped on the control, setting it to hot to help it heat faster. When the water began to burn his fingers, he flicked it to the right and set it to warm before stepping in, sliding the curtain behind him. He let the warm liquid scald his cold body, erasing away traces of yesterday's cold that had bitten into his skin.

He was in the shower for almost five minutes before he heard a knock and the door opened. He heard Tsuzuki's voice ring out through the running water.

"Ne, Hisoka, I brought you some new clothes to change into."

"Thanks," Hisoka said loud enough to be heard over the shower, but his voice was still quiet, still like a dove's.

"Do you want me to wash your clothes?" he offered as he set down the new clothes. Hisoka shrugged, biting his lip before he nodded and said, "Sure. Thanks, but leave my belt, okay?"

"This sash?" he asked, holding up a thin shadow of a piece of cloth.

"Yeah, that doesn't need to be washed," Hisoka said, turning around and letting the hot shower water cleanse his front. He saw Tsuzuki place it back down, shrug, and walk out of the steaming bathroom. Hisoka let out a small sigh before a hand came up to touch the crucifix around his neck.

The necklace was dear to him, as someone sacred had presented it to him, someone who was the only person he trusted and should trust in his life. Also, it had a protection spell around it and it shone whenever someone dangerous would come along.

Looking down at it now, Hisoka was surprised when he barely sensed the pendant light up when he was found in that cold alleyway. He began to wonder how he could have lost himself like that. He didn't even understand how he'd ended up in that alleyway. All that was in his mind was the question of what was he doing here?

_(1) "Eli, Eli, lama sabachtani,"_ he whispered, shutting off the hot water of the shower, standing in silence as the water dripped from his hair in small droplets, sliding down his creamy skin. He waited for a moment, listening with all his might, but there came no response. He did not expect one just like that. He knew it was going to take time and faith to be able to get an answer to his lost words.

Sighing, he wrapped the towel around him and slid open the shower curtain, stepping onto the dry mat by the mirror. He wiped at the mirror with his small hand, wiping away the condensation there and revealing his reflection from the other side. His eyes were now glassy and his hair was darker with the collection of water within it.

Drying his fragile body, he turned around and slipped into the new clothes Tsuzuki had brought him. They were normal clothes, an old pair, but they were warm and just about his size, with an inch much longer on both the pant legs and the shirtsleeves. Other than that, it was perfect and the top was a nice shade of green, matching with the black pants and his golden sash, which he now replaced around his waist. He towel-dried his hair until it stopped dripping water over the green top before walking back out into the bedroom, the steam following him for about four feet before vanishing into the air.

Shaking his hair out of his eyes, Hisoka walked out of the bedroom and into the living room, where he saw his new friend sitting on the couch, sipping hot cocoa and looking out at the window at the falling snowflakes that were now adding onto the frost collecting on the sill. He turned to the teen as he entered the room.

"Ah, you're out already?" he asked in feint surprise, in a somewhat teasing tone. "Well, come have some hot chocolate, it's still warm and it's good on a day like today."

Hisoka nodded and inclined his head slightly. "Thank you, Tsuzuki."

He heard a chuckle and his new friend say, "You don't have to thank me, Hisoka. I'm just doing what I feel is right, by taking care of you."

A light blush colored at the boy's cheeks as he walked over to the pot of hot cocoa, pouring himself a steaming mug full before setting the pot back down on the warm stove to keep warm. Blowing over the steam protruding from the mug, Hisoka walked over to the window, watching the snowflakes catch on everything they touched, building up bit by bit. His eyes watched the cold become colder as the mug made his hands warmer, sending an odd warming chill down his spine. He wondered how a chill could have made him feel so warm.

* * *

_(1) This saying is from the fourth manga of Yami no Matsuei._


	3. What You Want Of Me

Recommended listening: _Aqua Harp_ by **Animusic**

My Angel

Chapter Three

"Ne, Hisoka, I think we should go shopping," Hisoka heard Tsuzuki speak up after a few moments. Surprised and confused by such a random question and now at such a time, he turned around, raising an eyebrow as his grip on the mug handle tightened slightly. "Shopping?"

Tsuzuki nodded. "We need new clothes to fit you, cause I can't let you keep on wearing what you were in last night when I found you. It's not suitable for this kind of weather."

Hisoka looked back out the window, avoiding the purple gaze as best he could. "You don't have to, I can manage."

"No, it would make me feel better if I did, plus it'll help you, so it's a win-win situation," Tsuzuki said quickly. "Will you let me?"

Hisoka glanced up at the caring eyes before he sighed, closing his own. "If you wish to, I can't rightly stop you."

"So how about we go when some of this snow clears up?" Tsuzuki asked, his purple eyes lighting up considerably.

Hisoka stared out the window for the third time that morning and shrugged. "It doesn't look like it will for a while. And once it stops, it may be too deep to walk through, or drive through for that matter."

"Hmm, maybe you're right," Tsuzuki spoke to himself as he walked up the boy's side, mug in hand and eyes set at the falling snow. Hisoka looked at the taller man out of the corner of his eye. The way his eyes seemed to set into serious concentration, the way his emotions leveled out seemed incredible at what Hisoka would have guessed to be a normal, happy go lucky man. However, he seemed a bit different. It was if the snow made him think about something… something that made him feel, in a way, empty.

Hisoka didn't want to pressure him about the feeling he could sense, mainly because it wasn't exactly his place to do so. Nevertheless, the emotions he could feel… they felt so sad, like deep wounds on an already scarred heart that he knew would never be erased by even the best of healers or by the most powerful god. He was just so pained…

Hisoka took another sip of his hot chocolate, rolling the rich taste over his tongue for a moment, glancing around the room, eyes taking their rest on a faded picture. He turned and walked over to the picture, his eyes flickering and examining it as the look within them softened at seeing a familiar face in the picture. It was Tsuzuki, well, a younger version of him, anyway. He was being hugged by a woman not too many years older than he was. She had the same color hair and the same skin tone as well as the same facial features, but her eyes were different. She had warm brown eyes while Tsuzuki had warm purple eyes.

'_Interesting,'_ Hisoka thought before turning back to his older friend by the window. "Who's this?"

Tsuzuki's eyes blinked when he realized that Hisoka was no longer standing beside him, but rather a good ten feet, right next to the one picture he loved dearly. He stared at Hisoka for a moment, seeing only innocent in his eyes, the innocence behind the question he had simply asked out of curiosity. Tsuzuki covered up his suspicion with a smile and he walked over, standing next to Hisoka.

"This is my sister," he said gently, pointing to the woman in the photo. Then he chuckled, pointing to himself. "And this is obviously me. My hair was so short back then."

Hisoka allowed a small lift of his lips at his own comment about himself before he wondered something and asked, "Where is your sister now?"

At that question, a look of pain crossed the once cheerful features and sorrowful emotions suddenly slammed into Hisoka. Sadness, grief, longing, remorse, sorrow, guilt, shame… PAIN! Hisoka gasped and dropped the mug, his arms going up to hug himself, the only way he knew how to shield himself from the onslaught of foreign emotions as his knees buckled, sending him to the floor.

"Hisoka, are you all right?" Tsuzuki was suddenly kneeling in front of him, his mug being set on the ground as his other hand came up to check his forehead for illness. His sad emotions from before were now better shielded and instead replaced by concern, worry, care, and warmth. The pain of feeling the emotions from earlier immediately subsided and he felt more in control. His irregular breathing began to slowly level out evenly and he didn't have to clutch himself so hard.

"What happened?" asked the purple eyed male as he felt the boy's neck for fever, in case his forehead didn't show it. "You just suddenly…"

It seems he couldn't find the right words and Hisoka shook his head, pulling away from the touch and leaning against the wall, his body shaking slightly, his eyes jittering for a minute as though in R.E.M. sleep. Tsuzuki wasn't sure what to think. He had only thought of what had happened as he tried to sort out how to answer Hisoka's question when suddenly, as though he had felt his pain, the boy just collapsed. But the boy was quite normal as far as he was concerned and there was no way he knew what he thought.

"There is," Hisoka whispered briefly, as if reading his mind all over again. Tsuzuki stared at him as his eyes fluttered open, setting its small, but intense gaze towards the purple eyes. "There is a way."

"What are you talking about?" Tsuzuki inquired, his mind not registering anything completely. Hisoka frowned, switching his gaze from Tsuzuki, instead to the mug that had shattered and then to a cut he had on his ankle from when the cup had shattered. "Gomen ne… I'll get the mug."

"No, don't worry about it, Hisoka. You're hurt. I'll get a bandage," Tsuzuki offered.

Hisoka shook his head violently, "No, it's not that deep. Do not worry about it. I've troubled you enough."

"I told you already, it's all right," Tsuzuki said reassuringly. "It's my job to care so much."

He stubbornly refused Hisoka's own refusals and in an instant, the mug was cleaned up and a small wrapping bandage was placed over the open cut.

"Gomen nasai," the boy murmured behind Tsuzuki as he picked up the last shard o the old mug. "I shouldn't have done that."

"Don't tell me you did it on purpose," Tsuzuki suddenly asked, a bit hurt at the thought.

Hisoka shook his head as response. "No. It's just… I should've had more control. But what you felt…"

"I don't understand," Tsuzuki said, his emotions blazing with a hint of fear, a fear that was small and innocent, but it was understandable.

"I can feel what you feel," Hisoka murmured, closing his eyes tightly, as though he were expecting to be hit. "I can feel your emotions… everything… and it hurts."

Tsuzuki thought about what the boy had said for a while before it began to click in his mind, when it finally made the wheels in his brain turn.

"Empathy," he uttered, having read a little on abilities such as the mentioned one just a few weeks ago. He looked at Hisoka. "You're an empath?"

Hisoka barely nodded, not daring to open his eyes to meet the swirling violet ones. "I'm sorry; I've caused you too much trouble. You shouldn't be saddled with me."

He used the wall as advantage to help himself to his feet and began to walk to the door, not being aware at how much of his weight he was putting on his injured foot. He was almost to the point of reaching out to grasp the brass door handle, wanting to get out of this house and not trouble this man any more than he already had done, when suddenly, a pair of arms wrapped around his torso, pulling him back against a broad chest. This caused his hand to slide off the door handle and fall down to his side.

Tsuzuki put his face into the boy's hair, closing his eyes and taking in the incense of strawberries. "No, Hisoka, you're not a burden. You never were. I don't want you to go out there. You'll probably freeze to death and I'd never forgive myself for letting you do it. Will you stay if I ask you to?"

The boy did not know how to respond to such a commitment. His mouth was set into a thin line of no tying emotion, yet he was in inner turmoil with himself. The emotions he could sense now from the elder man were care, kindness, warmth… and fear. Fear that he would say no, leave and freeze until his death. Well, his second death anyway, but the boy wasn't about to say that.

He put his head down so that his bangs fell over his eyes and Tsuzuki snapped his head back up, his emotions hiding behind their mental stone walls again for fear that they would overwhelm him. Hisoka brought his head back up to glance out the window, at the raging blizzard outside, at the white crystals that breathed death to anyone who ventured out with nowhere to go. Hisoka didn't have anywhere to go, but back here, in this house, where warmth was given to him.

Nevertheless, he wondered what Tsuzuki wanted in return. What did this man want from him? Was it something he could freely give? Was it something he could not do? Would it hurt him? Would it kill him?

Hisoka stretched out his empathy and gently, gently probed the amethyst-eyed man's mind, trying to not make it too obvious as he searched for the answer to his unspoken question, hoping against hope this man could be trusted.

He sensed an odd feeling he could not recognize buried deep within the confines of the male's mind, a feeling that had never felt so foreign to Hisoka before. It wasn't exactly aimed at him specifically, but just there. It was just there. It was gentle, it caressed his mind in return for not harming it, and it whispered to him, whispered some words that were soothing to the boy's mind and heart. This man didn't want to hurt him. In fact, it was as though he didn't want _anything_ from him. Except to stay of course as he's just admitted, but nothing else.

Hisoka broke the mental link reluctantly, wishing he could have had another moment with that feeling, but it was moving too fast for him to handle and he had to give Tsuzuki his answer now. He walked forward, breaking off the man's embrace and he sensed sadness erupt behind him. He turned around to meet the saddened eyes and shook his head.

"I won't leave… if you don't want me to," he finally said, glancing out the window to avoid the gaze that changed and suddenly, he was swept back into hose arms with a happy and… dare he say it? A happy and… cute puppy clinging to him.

"Sankyuu, Hisoka!"

The boy nodded as his answer before he was released from the embrace long enough to watch the outside of the window again. For a moment, he thought he saw a man dressed in white from the head down with gleaming hair that melded with the falling snow and eyes that cut through him like ice. It made him shiver slightly, but it went unnoticed. The boy glanced down at his pendant, which was beginning to shine a deep golden color that only he could see. Hisoka immediately glanced back up to look out the window again, but the angelic man was gone.

Hisoka knew that the man was not angelic at all. He didn't have the right aura. And his cross pendant never lied to him. Someone was watching them.


	4. Secret Revealed

**Recommended listening:** _Now We Are Free (Gladiator Theme)_

My Angel

Chapter Four

Hisoka watched the light falling of snow outside, watching the cold wind nip at the windows. It was about an hour before Tsuzuki had to come home from work and Hisoka felt a little bit of loneliness catch hold of his heart. He never liked that feeling and he'd pray so as to not feel so alone all the time. Dropping to his knees by the back window away from the door, he clasped his hands together and bowed his head, closing his eyes.

_"My God, my God, please guide me to Your Path,"_ he whispered to the silence, taking in a deep breath and repeating the phrase after a moment as he felt warmth seep through the cracks in the room from the outside. He felt a ray of light come forth through the clouds to shine upon him and he repeated the words again, concentrating on what he was and whom it was he spoke to. A voice, strong, but very gentle spoke into his ear as he felt the warmth of the light consume his spirit.

**"Why do you call me so?"** the voice asked of him, a calm demand, not harsh in any way. Hisoka lifted his head slightly, looking straight up into the light, not affected by its brightness.

_"Father, I call for Your help because I wish for Your guidance,"_ he answered the voice, wavering and hesitant, but at the same time, just as calm as the perfect voice responded back to him.

**"You, My son, are never lost as long as you believe in Me." **

Hisoka bowed his head again, nodding into the light, his hair shining with streaks of gold. He felt what seemed like hands upon his back as he calmly allowed two perfect white wings to unfurl, stretching back and relaxing in the air behind him, folding back to rest upon his back, forming into the curve of his body.

**"What troubles you so in this time?"** the heavenly voice asked, as calm as before with warmth shielding off the owner from above.

Hisoka looked up at the light once more, eyes glazed over conflicting emotions that were beginning to give him a headache. _"Father, I do not fully understand what I am to accomplish here. I know my mission is as of protection and importance, but I do not understand how I can help."_

He knew his words were faltering and unsure even of themselves, but he needed more guidance on his thoughts and needed someone to help him understand what he had to do.

**"We sent you to protect and you have done so, but not to the full extent,"** the voice answered simply, as though the owner of such vocals said this to everyone. **"You must find happiness, as you hadn't before you came to us." **

_"Father, I know it is not my place to question You, but how will I find happiness?"_ Hisoka asked hesitantly, looking back down to the floor, flexing his wings a bit. _"I don't even know where to start."_

**"I believe you should start with whom you protect,"** the voice said, once again, simply and calmly and then went on to explain, **"Before you came to us, you had endured much of what we can only imagine. You made your way into the Haven of your new home because you had done no wrong on your life. We are giving you a second chance to find what you could not have when you were alive." **

_"Father, now I am confused,"_ Hisoka protested. _"Why give such an offer to me?"_

**"I placed you upon earth for a reason,"** the voice got a stronger tone to it that made Hisoka flinch. **"The reason why you were was not fulfilled. Instead, you suffered and endured harsh trials. I am giving you a second chance for you to find a place to exist here before you come back to us."**

Hisoka inclined his head again, closing his tear filled eyes and having his golden blond bangs flying in front of his face. _"Thank You, Father. I deeply appreciate it."_

He felt something warm touch his head and knew it was a simple blessing from above that they were giving him for both luck and faith.

**"You realize that finding happiness is not as easy as it is made out to be, young one," **the voice said gently to him. **"But remember to not violate our laws in your pursuit of your goal."**

_"I will not,"_ Hisoka whispered. _"I will not violate our laws and if I do as such, I shall endure any punishment handed to me for any reason you see fit--"_

"Hisoka?"

The boy jumped and stood up abruptly, whirling around quickly, the light above him fading as soon as it had come. Startled green eyes fell upon confused amethyst, widening slightly. How long had he been standing there and listening to him speak to the true light from Heaven?

Hisoka was going to pretend nothing had happened, then he felt the piece of himself on his back move and he realized that Tsuzuki could now see his wings, the wings he had so well hid until now. His arms fell and he stood there, looking down to avoid the purple gaze.

"Hisoka, you—you're an angel?" he asked, stepping forward to the teen, but the said boy took a step back. Hisoka reached across him and held onto his arm, the only source of comfort he knew of in his childhood, and the one distraction that he wished to help rid his ears of hearing the statement.

"Hisoka, please, talk to me," Tsuzuki pleaded, eyes switching from the teen's hidden face and his shining white wings in disbelief, trying to believe what he was seeing. The boy he had taken in, the boy who seemed so alone and desolate was the same boy standing in front of him, a heavenly being that had descended from light in the clouds. It was too good to be true.

"Hisoka—"

"Aa," came the quiet response as the head came up, green eyes startlingly sharp and ashen blond bangs flying in the line of sight of those deep orbs, dancing around as though in worship as the room grew steadily warmer as the white wings began to pulse. "I am an angel. I am Kurosaki Hisoka, Angel of Archery from the gold hierarchy in Heaven."

A soft golden light surrounded the boy like an aura, pulsing as his wings did, steady and with a rhythm of a heartbeat. Tsuzuki's own heart skipped a beat at the calm look on the boy's face. Now he knew why he seemed so perfect. He was an angel, one of God's perfect creations, one of the highest classes in Heaven.

"I was sent here to protect you, Tsuzuki Asato," he continued in a gentle voice, the vocal of his voice raising a pitch to meet a high tone spreading warmth in the room as his green eyes shone a shade lighter. The light above him glowed softly, highlighting his beautiful ash hair with pure streaks of golden silk. "Sent here to protect you from what I could not be protected from."

"You already knew me," Tsuzuki uttered out with wide eyes. Almost mournfully, he watched as the angel nodded before taking a step forward towards him hesitantly, as if waiting to be thrown back. But Tsuzuki refused to move as he too waited for any reaction.

"I knew you, but could not recognize you the night you found me, as my senses had been injured by my fall," Hisoka continued to explain, taking another step until he was five feet from Tsuzuki.

Tsuzuki shook his head slightly. "But you said you got lost."

Hisoka nodded. "It was true when I said I got lost, so don't you dare hold that against me. I was flying through that storm and ended up losing my way to where I thought you were at the time. I ended up only by chance in that alleyway, where I hit my head, knocking myself out. My senses were scrambled, but that's when you found me."

"And where you said your home was…"

"Heaven."

"That was why you said I couldn't take you there," Tsuzuki exclaimed, the pieces falling together. Again, a nod.

"Angels cannot lie under any circumstances, but they can manipulate words to make it seem like a humane answer as to not be found out by others," Hisoka responded, his wings flexing slightly again, growing achy from their current position. He folded them to fit the curve of his back before sighing lightly.

Then, he said quietly, "I will understand if you do not trust me anymore, but know that I did not intend for you to be at all hurt or betrayed by this. It was supposed to be so you did not know or suspect anything. I'm sorry for leading you astray, truly I am, but I am grateful to you. If you had not found me, I would not have survived. You have my apologies… and my thanks."

Tsuzuki was silent for a long time as he soaked this up. He began to understand why the boy was somewhat distant. He also began to realize the reason for the crucifix necklace, the reason he had been in that alleyway, and the reason he was here in first place.

"But the clothes you wore," Tsuzuki protested suddenly. "If you knew you were coming here in this weather, why did you wear them?"

At that, Hisoka colored lightly, a pretty shade of pink. "I didn't think I was going to be out that long in the storm. I was arrogant and stubborn about this mission, and I usually only wear this when I'm around everyone else, so… I just thought it would be fine. Guess not."

"You wear that all the time?" Tsuzuki asked then, wondering how in the hell Heaven could be a wonderful place if one didn't bathe and change every now and then. As if reading his thoughts, Hisoka actually smiled a bit and the golden light made his face glow.

"Well, when you're up there, you're practically clean all the time, although holy water every now and then is comforting," he explained again in that short simple way that made Tsuzuki wonder. "There's a private holy water spring up there that I like to go to," the teen added as an afterthought with a red blush. "It feels nice."

Tsuzuki stared impassively at the teen before allowing his body to fall back into the couch as his mind tried to soak up the knowledge that Hisoka was giving him. The boy had been an angel sent to protect him, sent to take care of him… it was such a powerful thought and it made Tsuzuki's heart hurt. He knew the boy hadn't meant for him to feel betrayed, but he couldn't shake off that sort of emotion that was welling inside him. And he had thought that the boy was a lost person with no home. But he _did _have a home and he _wasn't _lost and was from _Heaven_… That alone was hard to believe, but it was true, it was all true.

"I think you know most of what I had kept from you," the boy said, interrupting the amethyst-eyed man's thoughts. "But I understand if you'd rather I leave you…"

Tsuzuki looked up at the boy, whose head was inclined slightly, his hand on his opposite arm, as if holding onto it for emotional support or a sign of comfort that was the only thing he seemed to know. His wings folded neatly and silently onto his back, flexing as they went, stretching out the seemingly sore muscles. It was now that Tsuzuki realized how fragile the boy was, or rather, how alone he was.

Although he was a high being from a place Tsuzuki knew he would never reach one day, the amethyst-eyed man seemed to know that it wasn't anything to help the boy with whatever was going on in his mind. Whatever went on his mind seemed off, and it didn't seem as though it could be erased at all, at least not anything from Heaven. Tsuzuki began to think that there was something more to this mission than Hisoka let on. Then again, the boy said he had probably said all that he had kept from Tsuzuki and angels could not lie.

Tsuzuki shook his head. "You don't have to go."

He said this with a soft tone, nothing angry or frustrated, but more tired than anything from gaining such knowledge in a short amount of time. He even felt tired, especially after working so hard today.

Hisoka's head snapped up, eyes wide in shock and he asked disbelievingly, "You're not angry with me?"

Tsuzuki looked at him, at his surprised face. What did the boy expect? A slap and being thrown outside? Deciding to be honest and truthful with the boy from now on, he nodded. "Maybe I am a little… but not so much as you as with whoever sent you."

Hisoka forced the smallest of smiles onto his face. "I guess that means you're angry at God."

"I guess I am, but that's okay, I guess," Tsuzuki attempted a smile as well.

"I probably should have told you this beforehand, right?" Hisoka asked, the small smile vanishing.

Tsuzuki nodded. "But what's done is done. It's all right."

Hisoka nodded and the hand that had been clutching his arm fell. "Thank you… Tsuzuki Asato."

Neither one of them noticed the pale figure standing outside with black wings that contrasted against the snow. Icy eyes with no warmth stared with death on the tip of the snake-like tongue before the figure vanished from view, leaving not a trace behind.


	5. Winter Adoption

Recommended listening: _It Is You_ by **Dana Glover**

My Angel

Chapter Five

The snow had settled down and only a foot of snow that had begun to set itself upon the cold cement ground was beginning to be kicked around by snow blowers, making a pathway in both the street and the sidewalk where some people walked along this day of December 19. Christmas was just around the corner, only a few days left until the Eve of the holiday and soon, the night of the special day, many were going to drink eggnog into the night.

Both Hisoka and Tsuzuki were window shopping their way around town, after doing shopping earlier that afternoon for clothes. Hisoka was wearing spruce green corduroy pants matching with a long sleeved cream shirt. Tsuzuki was wearing black corduroy pants and a shirt similar to Hisoka's own, except its color was a deep green color, only slightly lighter than Hisoka's pants. They both wore winter coats and tennis shoes able to stand up to the snow.

"Oh, Hisoka, look!" Tsuzuki exclaimed as they passed a pet shop. Green eyes followed Tsuzuki's outstretched hand to the window, where three little puppies were curled up together, snoozing light under a blanket on a tiny puppy bed. One of the puppies was a sandy color with light tan under parts, curled up next to his brothers, both of which were a deeper brown and slightly black. The tan puppy seemed to stick out from the other two.

Hisoka smiled at Tsuzuki's child-like emotions as they gazed at the puppies. Then, the little tan puppy began to stir. It opened its big eyes of which were a deep golden brown and blinked cutely, staring up at the two of them before giving a small yawn and uncurling itself from the group, padding quietly over to them and standing on its hind legs, putting its front paws on the glass. Tsuzuki knelt down and put his finger right over where the puppy's small paw was and smiled. The puppy's tail began to wag.

"He's so cute!" Tsuzuki exclaimed, looking a little goofy with the smile on his face as the puppy's paw followed his finger inch by inch across the glass.

"Do you want to go inside and see him?" Hisoka asked.

Tsuzuki nodded enthusiastically.

"Well, go on, then."

"Yay!" Tsuzuki bolted inside.

Hisoka shook his head, allowing that same small ghost of a smile before following his client into the store. It wasn't noisy in the store. Most of the pets had been adopted for Christmas and only the puppies in the window had no home, so it was fairly quiet and the storekeeper seemed to be in the back. Hisoka looked over as Tsuzuki knelt down by the small enclosed space behind the window, reaching out a finger to stroke the tan puppy's furry face. The puppy's tail wagged enthusiastically and happily as it licked the man's digit.

Hisoka walked over and stood next to Tsuzuki, watching his play with the puppy while the storekeeper was still nowhere to be seen. The puppy licked his finger before nipping it lightly and falling on its back, looking up with a cute expression. Tsuzuki rubbed the tiny dog's stomach and Hisoka watched as the tiny emotions from inside the puppy spiked at the affection he was getting.

Hisoka leaned over and scratched one of the dog's ears. It was then that the puppy yipped lightly and seemed to smile at them. At the yip, the other two puppies stirred and woke up themselves. Seeing the strangers and their younger brother getting the affection, they ran forward and furiously began licking the hands on his brother, causing his brother to move away behind them, failing to be happy any longer.

Hisoka glared ever so lightly at the jealous twin brothers and reached over, picking up the dejected puppy and holding him out of reach. The puppy curled up in his hands and shook lightly. Tsuzuki pet the tan puppy affectionately and it was then that an old grunt came from the back of the shop; emerging from the shadows was the storekeeper. It was an old man, in his late sixties or seventies, gray hair with wrinkles around light blue eyes.

Hisoka noticed him first. "Konnichiwa, sir."

"Eh? Good afternoon? Bah, it's cold and dreary," the old man groaned with complaint. "It's not good. These poor pups ain't got anyplace to go and no one wants them. It's sad and so this afternoon's no good."

"How long have these puppies been here?" Tsuzuki asked.

The old man scratched his chin. "Meh… I've lost count now. It's been months since I've gotten them. There were five, but now there be three left. And no one will come by. In fact, you're the first few I've seen in almost two months."

"Two months?" Tsuzuki repeated in shocking disbelief. Hisoka looked down at the sighing puppy in his arms and stroked its back gently, effectively calming the small animal down. Its brother continued to yip to get attention, but with one look from Hisoka, they were quiet.

"Yeah… two months. Most people are too busy with their presents and dinners to impress their guests to know about these pups," the storekeeper went on gravely.

Tsuzuki looked sadly at the tiny tan dog in Hisoka's arms, and then back at the two brown ones, who were busy playing with one another, having not been able to obtain attention. The old man seemed to see Tsuzuki's childish look and said rather hurriedly, "Tell you what. If you promise to take good care of that puppy, I'll let you have him."

"You're serious?!" Tsuzuki asked happily.

The storekeeper nodded. "Yeah. As long as you give him food and shelter and care and loving… I'm going to give him to you. Besides, he's got nobody here. His brothers don't think too much of him. I think he'll be happy with you."

Hisoka nodded. "He will be."

"Good. Then it's settled then?" the man asked. Tsuzuki nodded excitedly. "Then he's yours."

Hisoka handed the puppy to the happy Tsuzuki, who snuggled with it close to his cheek, beginning to talk to it about a name. Hisoka walked over to the old man, his green eyes searching and finding everything in one go. He placed a hand on the old man's shoulders. "We thank you for this. You're a good man."

The storekeeper attempted a smile and chuckle. "I'm just doing what I think is right. I know he'll be happy with you."

"He will be. May God protect you."

The old man actually smiled then and nodded back. Hisoka walked over to where Tsuzuki was still sitting down, petting the puppy as it licked his other hand. His happy eyes looked up at Hisoka as the angel approached. "Sankyuu, Hisoka! I'm so happy!"

"What are you going to call him?"

"I dunno," Tsuzuki admitted. I've been thinking about it. Can't think of anything; anything interesting at least."

"I know what I'd call him," the storekeeper said from behind them. The two turned expectantly. The man smiled. "I'd call him Pascal."

So that was the name they had decided. As they left the store, Hisoka placed the now snoozing puppy into a pocket in his coat to stay warm as they began to walk to Tsuzuki's place, where they would put the puppy in bed until it woke up to be fed the food the storekeeper had given them in a small bag.

"I'm so happy he's coming home with us," Tsuzuki exclaimed. "He's going to be joyful with us… I hope."

Hisoka smiled slightly. "Might want to stop hoping and start doing."

Tsuzuki chuckled. "Maybe I should… well, in any case, Pascal's away from that store and he's going to be okay with us. I wonder if anyone else will adopt his two brothers."

Hisoka suddenly got a bad feeling as they got to the top of the slanted road. He looked back at the store where they adopted Pascal and for a moment, no sound was heard, not even Tsuzuki's thought as he talked aloud, thinking Hisoka was listening. It became quieter than the falling snow. He saw the shopkeeper walk out with a bag in his hands, most likely to be going home. It was then that he paused and stopped, as if he forgot something, but he didn't move.

Then, all of a sudden, an explosion rocked the ground and the pet shop exploded from the inside. Tsuzuki and Hisoka's eyes widened as flames erupted around the store, throwing the old man off his balance and into the snow, his bag falling off to the side. Tsuzuki and Hisoka rushed back to see the man motionless on the ground in the snow, his bag moving from the inside behind him.

Tsuzuki shook the man, trying to get him to wake up, but nothing. The man had died on impact. Hisoka opened the bag and saw that the man had put the two other puppies in them, both of the tiny dogs shaking with fear as their sensitive ears heard the flames behind them.

Hisoka then looked back to see his client, eyes wide with fear as his hands continued to try and shake the owner awake. Sighing, Hisoka reached over and put a hand on Tsuzuki's shoulder. The man looked up at him, purple eyes glimmering with unshed tears, but Hisoka shook his head. "You have to leave him, Tsuzuki. It can't be helped."

His client looked down sadly at the snow before nodding in grief. Hisoka turned his attention back to the puppies, which were huddled together in the bag, seeking the other for comfort from the screams of other people that were beginning to gather and the roar of the flames behind them. Hisoka felt a movement in his pocket and took out Pascal, who yipped at his brothers, not knowing the danger, having just woken up.

Reluctantly, the two pups crawled out of the bag and licked Pascal, who licked them back affectionately. Hisoka glanced back to the dead man_. 'He knew this was going to happen. Somehow he knew. Either that or he was an innocent who cared for these dogs at home. One way or another, someone planned this.'_

As soon as he stopped that thought, time stopped again. Everyone froze except for Hisoka, who felt a familiar presence. Turning around, he saw a familiar angel behind him, white wings glittering in a soft golden light as her long golden hair fell behind her upper back as her deep brown eyes looked at the scene at her feet.

"Alexandra," Hisoka said, nodding.

She nodded back. "Hisoka."

"Do you know who planned this?" Hisoka asked.

Alexandra shook her head. "No, but it does not matter. It was his time today, in any case."

"This was just unexpected," Hisoka confirmed. Another nod.

Hisoka watched as the girl raised her hand. From out of the dead man's body came a small blue orb of light, his soul hue. In an instant, it had transformed into the form of a person. Light blue eyes were the only familiar trait about this man. Otherwise, he had short brown hair that didn't fall any lower than his ears and his skin was a smooth tan. He looked between Alexandra and Hisoka, confused, and then saw his body laying on the ground and the puppies huddled close together.

The storekeeper sighed. "I had hoped they would have been adopted before my time."

Alexandra put a hand on his shoulder. "It couldn't be helped, Astor. Hisoka will see to it that they get a home."

Hisoka nodded and the storekeeper, Astor, looked at him. After a moment, he raised his finger, pointing at the young angel. "I remember you… you stopped in my shop today…"

Hisoka nodded before gesturing to the frozen Tsuzuki. "He is my client. I am his protector."

"Well, I'm glad he has you around. It seems to fit an angel's job, ne?" Astor asked, smiling a bit.

Hisoka shrugged with a small smile of his own. "You'll find out that when you ascend today."

"You promised me to take care of Pascal," Astor said as he began to float up.

Hisoka held up his hand. "An angel never can break a promise."

Alexandra nodded to him. "Take care, Hisoka. And be careful."

Hisoka nodded before he sighed. Time picked up again as soon as he got his breathe out and the suddenly deaf silence was met with screams and exclamations, the roar of blazing fire and the whining of the puppies by Hisoka's knee as he knelt down, taking a good look at the old man that was once Astor. He looked as if he were sleeping, as if he were going to wake up any time he would, but no. He wouldn't. His only breathing done now would be up in Heaven.

"Tsuzuki, we need to go," Hisoka said halfhearted, standing up with Pascal in his pocket and the puppies at his feet.

"But what about Pascal's brothers?" Tsuzuki asked. "We can't just leave them here."

"I know we can't," Hisoka said dejectedly. Fortunately, a man came up to them, asking what happened and if the puppies were all right. Hisoka then got an idea.

"They're all right, sir," Hisoka answered. "But they need a home. We can't take them."

The man looked at the two quivering brown/black young dogs on the ground before biting his lip and saying, "I can take them if you can't. I promise to give them food and shelter and care. I promise!"

Hisoka nodded with a smile before handing the two puppies to the man. "Arigatou and God bless."

The man nodded and then smiled as Pascal's brothers licked his face affectionately; grateful someone was willing to take them on after this event. As the man walked away, Hisoka turned to Tsuzuki, kneeling down next to him, placing a hand back on his shoulder. "Tsuzuki—"

"Why would someone do this?" Tsuzuki asked, cutting the angel off as he looked up, a tear rolling down his cheek. "Why would someone want to kill him after he worked so hard to find these puppies good homes?"

Hisoka shook his head. "I don't know, Tsuzuki, but we can't stay here. Come on, I'll take you home."

Unwillingly, Tsuzuki allowed himself to be pulled to his feet as Hisoka steered him away from the burning wreckage, which was being approached by firefighters who began to blast water at it, intent on putting it out. As soon as they were clear from the burning building, Tsuzuki let himself collapse in the snow, shutting his eyes tightly as tears fell down his face. Hisoka knelt down next to him, knowing exactly what was wrong.

"He was an innocent. This shouldn't have happened," Tsuzuki wept.

"I know, Tsuzuki," Hisoka said as he put his arm around the elder man's shoulders. "I know how you feel. But it was his time, whether this happened or not. He would have died later on today, as Alexandra told me."

Shocked amethyst looked up at the young angel. "When were you told? I was with you the whole time! How did you know?"

Hisoka sighed. "When someone's soul is taken by Alexandra, Angel of Death, time stops for everyone except for angels. We can see it happen. You were frozen in the millisecond that Astor's soul ascended. It happens in hardly a millisecond, to be honest, but time still stops nonetheless. She told me everything in that short of time."

"What did she tell you?" Tsuzuki asked. "Who did this?"

Hisoka shook his head. "We don't know. But the thing is you shouldn't be grieved about this, Tsuzuki. He didn't feel a thing when this happened. He wouldn't have anything when it was his time to ascend anyway, because he would have been asleep. In fact, I think he was asleep even before the explosion. Alexandra does that sometimes. That's why the storekeeper stopped right before the explosion. Alexandra takes lives away when it is their time in the most painless way possible."

"I thought you said that this was unexpected," Tsuzuki said somewhat accusingly.

Hisoka lifted one of his hands, closing his eyes before they opened again and were gleaming with sadness, looking off to the side. "Angels have the ability to do something in the few seconds they are given in order to help life or end life. We aren't all-powerful, Tsuzuki. Just know that. You may think we are, but we're not."

Tsuzuki realized he had just hurt the boy with his accusations. He saw the slightly saddened look in those eyes. "I'm sorry, Hisoka, I didn't mean that."

"It's all right," Hisoka replied, closing his eyes. "You're human. You haven't seen or learned what we have. It's understandable."

Pascal poked his tiny head out, his little tongue out and his beady eyes looking up between the angel and the amethyst-eyed man. Hisoka reached down and pet the puppy's neck before scratching his tiny ears. "We'd better get home. Puppies can't be out in the cold for too long."

Tsuzuki nodded and reluctantly stood up, following Hisoka as they began to walk back to Tsuzuki's house.

"Oh, and Tsuzuki."

The man looked up as Hisoka turned around, emerald meeting amethyst for a brief, but meaningful moment. "It's not your fault."

Blinking, Tsuzuki nodded as Hisoka turned around and continued to lead him back home. Tsuzuki bit his lip and followed his guardian back to the place where he found some sanctuary. At the sudden moment, going out tonight might help. That's only if Hisoka didn't protest against going where he wanted to go to find salvation.

That thought in mind, they caught up with Hisoka and walked back silently.


	6. False Salvation

Recommended listening: _Fairyland_ by **BlutEngel**

My Angel

Chapter 6

"Well, I'm going out."

Green eyes glanced up from the text in the held book, meeting cheerful, but veiled amethyst as the owner of such eyes was dressed in casual pants, a black shirt, and his trench coat. The purple eyes were filled with mixed emotions, some sadness and grief, blended with sorrow and turmoil, but they held a façade around the emotions, a façade of genki-like personality, a façade that would throw almost anyone off, had they not had the gift for sensing emotions.

"Where are you going?" Hisoka asked curiously, placing his finger in the page of the book and closing the book as Pascal snoozed beside him, curled up in a warm blanket.

Tsuzuki shook his head, a cheerful grin, a fake one, forming on his face. "Nowhere special. Just going out for a bit cause even I hate being cooped up in my own house sometimes."

Hisoka shrugged, not finding anything off, save for the emotions. Besides, if Tsuzuki was going to do something stupid, like say, try to kill himself, Hisoka would know ahead of time from the protective seal already placed upon Tsuzuki by Diego, one of Hisoka's angelic comrades and warriors, as well as the angel's gift for acting only a few seconds beforehand. It may only be a few seconds, but at least it was some extra time.

Hisoka did not have to be with Tsuzuki to know if he was going to do something stupid, thanks to the seal, and he could tell if the man was going out to a place where he could get hurt. So far, he seemed familiar with whatever place he was going to, thus it probably would not pose much of a threat at all.

Opening his book again, Hisoka nodded and said, "Well, don't stay out all night. I don't really want to wake up and not see my client here unharmed."

"Aww, you're so cute when you're all protective!" Tsuzuki teased, making a faint pink stain form itself onto Hisoka's cheeks.

"Baka. You know I don't mean it like that," Hisoka said, trying to focus on the book in his hands. For some reason, that seemed difficult now, as his eyes secretly kept watch from underneath his shield of ash hair.

"Well, I'll be back later," Tsuzuki said casually, opening the door to the cold, winter-night wind. Hisoka watched him leave before turning back to his book. It was quiet for a while, probably an extent of twenty minutes at most. Hisoka did not really know. He usually didn't keep track of the time. But as soon as those twenty minutes passed, a golden light began to shine in front of Hisoka and Pascal opened his eyes, yawning into the light before he fell asleep again, snoozing on as time began to stop again.

Through the hazy veil of blue caused by the time stop, Hisoka saw the same angel as earlier, same brown eyes, same golden wavy hair. He nodded to the angel. "Alexandra. Why a return so early?"

The angel shook her head. "Where is your client?"

"He's out," Hisoka answered.

Alexandra looked hard at him. "Do you have any idea where?"

Hisoka shook his head. "No, he wouldn't tell me. I sensed it wasn't any place he would be in danger. It's not his time, is it?"

Alexandra shook her head, her wings folding into the curve of her back. "It's not, but he's in more danger than you think."

Hisoka put the book down. "Explain."

"Where he went is not a place where he will get killed, but it is a place where his salvation will not be given. He may think that, but the place he is currently at cannot be allowed, especially by you."

"I don't understand," Hisoka admitted, leaning forward as his own wings appeared. "Where is he?"

Alexandra sighed. "He is at a nightclub in a bar, trying to get himself drunk."

In a flash, Hisoka was on his feet, his wings stretched out and his eyes wide with both anger at himself and shock for hearing it. "What?!"

Alexandra put her hands up in feigned defense. "I'm relaying the message from Diego. He is concerned."

"Screw it all," Hisoka muttered before he vanished from the room, immediately teleporting himself into town, following the spiritual trace residue Tsuzuki had left behind on his walk. _'God, I was such a fool… forgive me.' _Hisoka thought as he ran down the street.

-X-

Alexandra looked at Pascal as time began to move again. The small puppy opened its cute eyes and yawned again, blinking as they looked up at her. Alexandra stroked the small pup behind the ears before she snapped her fingers, causing the tiny dog to fall asleep again until Hisoka's return.

-X-

Hisoka winced as the pounding music from the nightclub reached his ears only tow blocks away. High and drugged emotions wafted into the air, batting against Hisoka's shields in frenzy, like a drug trying to work its way through his system and allow addiction to take hold of all weak-minded. But Hisoka refused to give in as he walked up to the entrance to the club.

Two bodyguards stood outside of the club in bouncer-type clothing, one a girl and the other a boy. Hisoka walked up to them, eyes set ahead of him to go inside, hoping that the two bouncers would not recognize his underage. Unfortunately, they spotted his eyes, the main thing about his being underage and they blocked his path.

"Sorry, kid, no munchkins tonight," said the boy rudely while the girl swung her hips to the music behind him. She placed her hands on his shoulders seductively from behind and said huskily, "If you want, I can do you tonight."

Hisoka shook his head, backing up to pull away from her dirty hands. "I'm just looking for someone."

"Someone to take?" asked the boy. Hisoka shook his head, his eyes setting into a glare as he put his shields up higher to block out the lusting emotions from the bouncers as well as the drumming music in his ears.

"No. Never mind," Hisoka said as he turned on his heel and began to walk away. If there was a will, there was a way and if the way wasn't through the front door, there was always the back door. Hisoka turned the corner, relived to get away from the bouncers and the hot emotions sliding off of them like a tide coming in and never stopping its course.

He spotted the abandoned back entrance and walked up to it, not hesitating as he put his hand on the door handle, feeling the abstract emotions swirling around it in a dance unlike any he had ever seen. Grasping it with a hint of guilt, he opened the door.

The music blasted his ears out as bodies danced close to others, blinding multi-colored lights shining across the dance floor and the walls, showing off glimmering jewelry and metal studded belts. The music was _"Fairyland"_ by **BlutEngel** the upbeat seemingly dragging the older teens and young adults across the floor, swaying their bodies and pushing them together. It was a rave, but Hisoka noticed that few were groping, some even stripping down. It disgusted him a great deal. How would he find Tsuzuki in this kind of place?

Hisoka noticed that there was a bar nearby and, knowing his client as much as he did, no matter how little that was, the fact remained that Tsuzuki wouldn't be dancing around with these kinds of people. He would probably just be watching and drinking anything he could get.

Taking a deep breath, Hisoka willed himself to vanish, one of the angels' many talents and abilities as he moved close to the wall, avoiding contact should someone accidentally dance right into him. The disco lights flashed across his face, unseen by the normal human eye. The music that continued to blast his eardrums to the point of nearly exploding seemed to get louder strobe lights began to shine in the room.

_//Take me to your fairyland;  
Show me the place where I can hide…  
Protect me from this misery,  
Don't let reality kill me.  
Hold me in your arms again,  
Let me be forever yours  
I will give my life to you,  
I follow you in to the night…//_

Hisoka finally reached the bar and took a quick look around, still retaining his invisibility. Through the darkness, the flashing lights, it was hard to tell who was who. In addition, the emotions floating around just the bar were enough to make Hisoka reel. Adding onto the night clubbers, he would knock himself out for at least four hours if he find Tsuzuki soon and get him out of this place. Already, some people were groping each other and some were beginning to pole-dance with the strippers. This was most definitely NOT a nightclub, with the strippers and everyone else. Hisoka knew he did not have much time and would not be able to use his empathy for a while at this rate.

'_Tsuzuki, where are you?'_ Hisoka thought, beginning to grow worried. How could he have been so stupid as to just allow Tsuzuki to walk away from him? How?

'_There!'_

A muss of chocolate hair and flashing lights over veiled purples orbs caught Hisoka eye. He ran over to the person, stopping a few inches away, scanning over the tan, flustered face. A pang of guilt tore at Hisoka's chest as he saw his client, hunched over, head on his hands against the cool surface of the bar counter, despite the hot, sickening air floating around. His jacket was still on, disguising his otherwise casual clothing.

His eyes softening and his mind about to blow, Hisoka grabbed Tsuzuki by the sleeve, looked around for a split second to make sure no one saw, then vanished, taking Tsuzuki with him, unknown to the rave around them, unknown to any human eyes.

The cold air of the outside was a relief exchange from the hot mixed emotions from inside the club and relieved the strain on Hisoka's mind. The said angel dragged his client and placed him against the brick wall of the alleyway gently, waving his hand in front of those dreamy amethyst eyes. They seemed to be trying to focus on his hand, but not really registering whose it was, but rather something that simply needed to be followed for no reason.

"Tsuzuki, can you hear me?" Hisoka asked, placing his hands on the elder man's shoulders, shaking him slightly. "Can you hear my voice?"

The man's only response was a goofy grin making its way onto his face as his slurring eyes looked at the angel, as if he knew him, but did not know him. Hisoka put his index and middle finger to Tsuzuki's forehead, closing his eyes as he muttered an ancient angelic spell. He opened his eyes a moment later and brought his thumb up to meet the two fingers and as he slowly pulled them back, he took a brown silk strand from nowhere and pulled it out, snapping his fingers once to make it vanish.

Amethyst blinked and the owner of them shook his head, as if trying to clear a blurred image to make it sharp, or as if trying to believe that they did not see something ahead of them. The purple eyes blinked once, twice, three times before they looked up at the serious angel; the pale face only inches from his. Tsuzuki blinked a few more times before his mind got to registering who was in front of him. "H-Hisoka?"

The angel sighed in relief before nodding. Tsuzuki tilted his head slightly. "What are you doing here?"

"You baka!" Hisoka half-shouted, making Tsuzuki wince slightly. "I should be asking you that! What did you think you were doing, coming to this place and getting drunk? What were you thinking?!"

Tsuzuki looked away, shutting his eyes as he avoiding the stern look his guardian was giving him. The harsh green gaze lessened in shade and instead softened as Hisoka brought one of his hands up, turning Tsuzuki's face towards him again. The amethyst revealed itself as the eyelids instinctively shot back. They looked up in some fear into the green depths, afraid the owner of the jeweled eyes was going to be hurt, hurt by his own guardian for his stupidity.

Instead, nothing happened, except for Hisoka's hand moving across his cheek in a small, soothing gesture as the forested eyes looked on him. The voice then spoke out, a soft voice, the same tone as it had been when Tsuzuki had first found him. Gentleness with innocence lacing every word was with some hidden power inside the dove's voice.

"Did you think you could find salvation here?"

Tsuzuki's eyes widened in shock and he wondered how the angel could tell what was happening and for what reasons. Perhaps it was his empathy guiding him, but Tsuzuki did not feel a touch on his mind, as he would have felt had the teen been trying to read his emotions or thoughts. So… how was it he could always tell?

"H-how?" Tsuzuki choked out.

Hisoka shook his head slightly. "You're the same as me, Tsuzuki. You feel the same pain I feel. That's how I know."

"I d-didn't know what t-to do," Tsuzuki confessed, a few tears rolling down his cheeks, rolling away from his face and down Hisoka's hands instead, but that was no reason to take those hands away from that sad face. "I just…"

He trailed off and attempted to look away, but Hisoka's hands kept his head firmly directed at him, yet that did not stop Tsuzuki from shutting his eyes, avoiding eye contact with the teen. Slowly, Hisoka leaned forward and touched their foreheads together gently, closing his own eyes.

"I know," Hisoka murmured. "It was a false salvation. I've known one for a long time…"

"Gomen nasai," Tsuzuki whispered, "I didn't even think…"

Hisoka put a finger to his lips. "It can't be changed. What's done is done. I'm sorry too, for not being aware of this. I'm sorry for not being a fit guardian."

"It's not you, Hisoka," Tsuzuki retorted, opening his eyes as he felt Hisoka pull back, their forehead no longer sharing the warmth from earlier. "It's me. I'm such a contradiction…"

Hisoka shook his head. "No, Tsuzuki. You have to…" He sighed, shortly pausing at the somewhat childish look that Tsuzuki held deep in his eyes. "Let's just get back home. You need to lie down after how much you drank. Even if I did take it away, it's going to come back and hit you hard."

"Hisoka... I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Hisoka cut in, placing his hand around the elder man's in an attempt to get a good grip. "We'll talk more about this later, after you get some rest. Let's just get home."

Tsuzuki blinked at his young guardian before he nodded and took Hisoka's hand, feeling himself being pulled to his feet. They looked at each for a moment. The emerald gazed deep into the amethyst that looked back with the same look the younger carried, a look that seemed to grow the longer they delved into the other's eyes, as if they were searching for something they could both cling to.

The silence was broken with a cruel voice ringing out in the alleyway.

"Well, when they say the cat comes back, they mean it."


	7. Enemy

Recommended listening: _Moondance_ by **Nightwish**

My Angel

Chapter Seven

"Well, when they say the cat comes back, they mean it."

The angel and the amethyst-eyed man whirled around at the voice, setting on the owner of the voice that had already instilled them with an eerie feeling. The man was a good six feet tall, dressed head to toe in white clothing, his skin a mysterious milky color. His platinum blonde/silver hair covered one of his eyes, one that seemed out of place and artificial as it glowed a bright blue. His other eye, more normal than the larger one, glowing an eerie shade of silver, locking the two friends in its steely gaze. He wore square-rimmed glasses in front of these eyes and a small smirk was playing across his lips. Tsuzuki had never seen him before.

"You!" Hisoka exclaimed suddenly, his face contorting in anger as he walked a few steps to stand in front of Tsuzuki, who stared on in confusion. "What do you want?"

The man chuckled in a way that sent chills down Tsuzuki's spine. Despite the innocent clothing, he didn't see like a man to be crossed, especially at this time of night and in this place.

"Well, bouya, I see your job has changed," the man exclaimed. "Protecting humans instead of playing your little harp in Heaven. Must be quite the promotion for you."

The man had struck a nerve and Hisoka growled; his hands clenching into tight fists until his knuckles turned white. His green eyes flashed dangerously and a small gust around him kicked up as his white wings unfurled, stretching behind him in a protective gesture to Tsuzuki and a threat against this new foe, who merely chuckled.

"You think I feel threatened by your puny white wings?" he asked, adjusting his glasses on his face. "You are not the only ones with wings here, bouya."

Hisoka flinched and the man proved his point by taking off his glasses, sliding them into his pocket and closing his eyes in concentration. In a fraction of a second, two black bat wings appeared on the man behind him, contrasting and clashing with his seemingly angelic white outfit. His eyes then opened and shone in amusement.

"You know what they say, bouya," he said, the smirk never sliding off his face. "Angels fall first and Hell angels drop the deepest and the fastest."

Hisoka took a step back, and then braced himself just as the man flew at him, punching the poor boy in the gut. Tsuzuki watched in shock as the boy used his wings to propel out of the mysterious man's way, trying to level out his breathing, Already, Hisoka was panting hard. The man glanced at Tsuzuki for a moment, eyes shining in cold amusement and a malicious smile playing across his face once more. Then, his bat wings expanded, shooting his body into the air, hovering across from where Hisoka flew, facing the boy. Tsuzuki could only watch as the two angels began to fight.

Hisoka's wings bent slightly as he shot to the left, dodging the attacking man. He turned himself around, facing the silver man and asked, "Who are you?"

The man paused for a moment. "My name is not of much importance because you will soon see second death. However, if you must know, it is Muraki."

The name seemed to click somewhere in Hisoka's brain and his body was sudden burning with pain. He let out a scream as hidden memories flooded his mind. Flashes from a past he never knew came back to him. There was a red moon, the pink sakura petals falling from grace, the blood, and the pain… all of it. All. That. Pain!

The man watched on amusement as he saw his work being done. The boy was clutching himself tightly, his eyes wide in panic as the past came back to him in a blur. The dark emotions he radiated to Hisoka only added onto the pain and the boy's head dropped in anguish, his arms hugging ever tighter to his shaking body. Tears began to trickle down his cheeks as his heart beat faster. His shoulders shook violently and his wings tensed, folding slightly, but open enough to keep him in midair.

Tsuzuki, from his position on the ground, couldn't figure out what was going on. The man wasn't even touching Hisoka, yet the boy was in pain. It hit him then. It was his empathy. The man was dark and evil and his unshielded emotions were probably hurting Hisoka just as much as his own sadness had done, possibly more. Tsuzuki could feel the pain coursing through Hisoka's body and he didn't even know where it was coming from. He could almost taste the salt in the boy's tears, feel the pain of being torn into two, and feel his body shaking as much as he was…

Tsuzuki couldn't take it anymore.

"Leave him alone!" he shouted up to the hovering black winged man. The man, now known as Muraki, glanced down and looked into the glaring amethyst eyes full of anger, yet veiled with pain. It was a look he hadn't seen anyone use against him in a long time. The smirk grew on Muraki's face; just by looking at this man, he knew this man's weak spot. And vice versa, of course, if you included the shaking white angel across in the air from him. Muraki knew how the stop the boy's pain and he did so regrettably.

He shielded up his dark thoughts in a mental state and the pain in Hisoka's burning body subsided to a degree. The tears stopped and the shaking began to cease. Tsuzuki watched on, the glare never leaving his eyes as he inwardly wondered how it could have stopped all of a sudden, leaving Hisoka panting in the air, his wings flapping more often than not to keep him hovering.

Muraki smiled evilly at the ashen blonde tenshi and said, "He seems to care for you, boy. However, all that care and attention will be for nothing, once you realize his inner demons."

Hisoka stared up at Muraki, glanced back down at his friend, and then glared back up at Muraki. "He's not a demon. If anyone here's a demon, it's you!"

With that, he attacked, pulling from behind his ear a feather that had seemingly come out of nowhere. The white feather began to shine with an earthly golden glow and he tossed it at Muraki as he sped past, his wings folded slightly to help him gain speed. Muraki dodged the onslaught and the feather exploded behind him, nothing but a small piece of fireworks in the sky.

Muraki lunged at the boy, who mimicked him almost immediately. The crucifix around Hisoka's neck shone with the same color as his previous feather and soon, his speed matched the black winged angel he fought. Punches and kicks came from both sides, aiming from head and knees, shoulders and arms.

Hisoka brought his arms up to block a kick aimed for his chest, but Muraki diverted at the last moment, feinting his attack and instead used his wings to propel himself behind the ashen blonde angel, kicking him in the back, just above the place where the wings met the spine. Hisoka coughed out a blood-filled gasp, caught by surprise and he hung there, his body shaking with the after effects. Muraki pulled a sneer and kicked him in the back again, harder this time.

Hisoka plummeted down and slammed into the brick wall, his knees crumpling as he slid to the cement ground. Tsuzuki began to run to him, but was knocked back by a sudden blast of power from above him. Muraki smirked down at him, arms crossed, his look that of someone with superior status. A small groan escaped Hisoka's lips and he pulled himself back up, stretching his wings to get used to them again before he took off at the same speed he fell, rising back up to met the deranged black angel.

Tsuzuki could still only watch as they went at it again. Hisoka was a bit slower this time, but he still seemed to catch up well. His shining necklace brought out power in him that he didn't know of and it helped his speed match that of Muraki's.

Hisoka pulled out another feather, which turned into an arrow. From out of thin air, a wooden bow with a single string made of pure silver materialized in the boy's hands. The angel cocked the arrow in a second and took aim, his energy pulsing out of his wings and into the metal tip of the golden arrow.

In less than a millisecond, the arrow fired itself and it struck the man in the right shoulder, golden sparks of holy dust settling around the black angel's collar. Muraki let out a hiss of pain, and then smiled in a way that could make shivers run up anyone's spine. He waved his hand and the strong arrow dissipated into nothing, the wound that had been done unto the shoulder immediately mended.

Hisoka glared, trying to hide his shock as he glanced down below at his client, who could do nothing but watch as he was failing to defeat this enemy. Gritting his teeth, Hisoka pulled out another feather, transforming it into another arrow and took another aim. Closing one eye, he shot the small lead tipped spear. Muraki was prepared this time. He easily dodged the arrow, which dissipated into nothing, and drew back, his leathery wings pulsing with some foreign energy that had come out of nowhere.

"It seems you did not learn your lesson last time we met!" he yelled at the boy. "You will see what happens when you cross me a second time!"

His black wings beat faster with an even darker aura and were soon encased in a deep silver energy with tinges of blue pulsing around the edges. The silver energy then surrounded Muraki in a circle, lines of fire crossing in the middle, forming a star shape. It was a pentagram. The pentagram glowed brightly and then transformed into a giant ball of fire that Muraki held up to the touch with a single hand. Hisoka's eyes widened and he floated back a few feet, his bow and arrow vanishing without his notice.

Muraki smirked. "Oh, it's not for you, doll," his eyes fell down to where Tsuzuki was standing, mouth open in astonishment, "it's for him."

Hisoka's eyes leveled into a glare. "Don't you dare!!"

"Oh, don't worry doll," Muraki mocked, pretending to be reassuring. "I _will_."

Hisoka shot towards Muraki, but the man only dodged his attack and used his free hands to push the boy away, making Hisoka wobble slightly in the air as he tried to regain his balance. Muraki smirked and turned back to Tsuzuki on the ground. He threw back his arm and the fireball shot downward at an alarming speed.

Gasping, Hisoka folded his wings tightly to his back, propelling himself downwards at a speed that nearly matched the ball of fire. Gritting his teeth, and shutting his eyes tightly, Hisoka shot straight downward like a rocket, using his powers to give him more speed rather than strength. The fireball was faster than he was. He wasn't going to make it… Hisoka felt a tear roll down his cheek as he shot down at level with the fireball. He wasn't going to make it. He wasn't going to save Tsuzuki… He failed.

A giant flash of white light consumed the alley.

"TSUZUKI!"


	8. Synchronization

Recommended listening: _Angel Dust III _by **BlutEngel**

My Angel

Chapter Eight

Tsuzuki heard Hisoka scream out his name before the fireball flashed down right in front of him. A sharp white light bounced off the dark walls of the alley and blinded him. Surprisingly, the impact did not hurt him. He expected the fireball to hurt him, but it did not even seem to have hit him at all. It had stopped short. But what had stopped it? The light began to fade and Tsuzuki gasped at what he saw, eyes wide in shock.

It was Hisoka. At the last moment, he had gained enough speed to fly in front of the fireball, stopping it… but in the worst way possible. He had used his own body as a shield. Now, he was floating there, his eyes closed and his wings burned to almost nothing with a gaping hole in his chest. He was falling, falling down, falling down so slowly…

He hit the ground.

Tsuzuki barely had time to get a grip on his sense before he was rushing to his fallen friend's side, picking up the bleeding and possibly dead form of the boy. His hands felt warm and sticky as they covered over in the angel's blood within moments. The boy had risked his life for him. No one had ever done that for him before. Why did he have to?

Tsuzuki buried his face into the limp shoulder that he now realized was stronger than it looked. It felt hard against his forehead, but it didn't stop him from beginning to cry right into that shoulder, crying out his anguish and sorrow. He then heard a laugh from high above him, suddenly causing his tears to stop. He glanced up just to see Muraki floating down smoothly on his black wings, an evil, satisfied smirk plastered on his face, as though it were permanent.

"I told the bouya not to interfere with my affairs," he said casually, crushing off a white feather that fell on his shoulder. "And he paid the price."

"You bastard!" Tsuzuki shouted. "Do you find that killing others is fun!?"

Muraki chuckled. "Why, actually I do."

"You monster!" Tsuzuki nearly screamed.

Muraki shrugged. "No more of a monster than you."

Before Tsuzuki could retort with anything, the body in his arms flinched and a painful groan escaped the dusty pink lips on that pale face as the tissue around the eyes crumpled tightly with pain, eyelids flickering at a pace unmatchable by human standards. A bloody corn silk hand came up, desperately trying to grasp something invisible or something that wasn't there.

Tsuzuki caught the hand, clutching it like a lifeline, his eyes not believing that the boy was alive. How could he be? After that…? The hand squeezed his desperately, the breathing renewed within the boy coming out in short gasps. Then, as though Hisoka had spoken aloud, Tsuzuki heard his voice inside his head:

'_This is going to hurt… but please… I… I need you… to synchronize with me…'_

'_Huh? Synchronize?'_ Tsuzuki wondered, unsure if what he had heard in his head was Hisoka's voice or his imagination.

'_It_ is_ me… please! It's the only way out!'_

Tsuzuki gave a slight nod, and he suddenly felt warm as a flame inside his heart burned brightly, but he was not sure if it was his own heart or Hisoka's that burned so deeply. He felt full, like he was being filled up with warm wine, the kind that made your head feel like nothing on your shoulders and your body so light you could feel like you could fly. He felt himself brought to his feet, his arms still holding the winged boy bridal style as his purple eyes opened, swirls of green mixing within them like a bottomless pool of rich power.

A white light began to surround them, so bright it almost made Tsuzuki squint, but he could see through it clearly, as if it were not even there. Muraki, however, brought his hand up to shield the light from his eyes, his black bat wings folding reflexively behind his back, as though trying to escape the light. He appeared threatened by the light and knew he couldn't be brought up against it.

"You may have won this time, but I assure you, I will be back!" he yelled and in a flash, he was gone.

The fire inside of Tsuzuki faded away as soon as it had come and he closed his eyes, letting out a shaggy breath. When he opened his eyes again, he was, to his surprise, back in his apartment, in his bedroom where it lay as neat as it had been when he had left hours earlier. He let out a sigh of relief.

The body in his arms groaned and felt lighter than before as white feathers fell around Tsuzuki's feet. He looked down at Hisoka, his head thrown back, his lips slightly parted and his eyes shut, as though he were dreaming. Hot tears formed back into Tsuzuki's eyes and he fell onto his knees, holding Hisoka to him tightly as the blood that had shortly stopped now came out of the gaping hole again, soaking his fingers in its essence. He wept again, his tears not stopping as he realized he had lost his closest friend.

"You're… crushing me…"

Tsuzuki's eyes snapped open and he held the teen back a foot, watching as those tired green eyes blinked at him and the broken wings attached to Hisoka's back pulsed slightly, in the same rhythm he had seen only once before. Hisoka pushed him away for a minute, leaning against the wall, his breathing coming out in gasps again.

"You're… you're alive?" Tsuzuki asked, his eyes hopeful before they fell with despair, the mind remembering something. "But… but that's impossible…"

"It'll heal," Hisoka murmured, closing his eyes again.

Tsuzuki shook his head. "That's impossible! Look at it, Hisoka! You have a hole in…!"

He trailed off as Hisoka's hand came up, gently taking his own, gently giving it a squeeze. Tsuzuki watched as Hisoka brought the hand to his chest, just to the right of the hole and blood, placing it there with little ease. Tsuzuki's breath hitched at the sudden moment.

"Do you feel that?" Hisoka whispered. "My heart against your hand… it still beats."

Tsuzuki felt a slight thump against his hand as Hisoka quietly uttered out his words. It beat again. Hisoka was right. He was still alive, barely just, but still burning with life nonetheless. Still, Tsuzuki was worried.

"Can I get you anything that'll help?" he asked, concerned. There had to be something he could do. All he needed was a simple answer from Hisoka. Nevertheless, he didn't want to leave the boy alone for a second, nor loosen the grip he held on him for fear that he would suddenly vanish away.

"Maybe water… nothing else," the teen requested with a tired tone, his eyes closing and his head rolling off to the side. Tsuzuki's hand was released as Hisoka's hand fell across his lap. Tsuzuki went into the bathroom, grabbing a small cup and filling it with water before rushing back into the bedroom. He knelt before the angel, looking at the tired face, the slight parted lips.

Tsuzuki raised his only slightly bloody hand to caress that pale cheek. It then settled in… the realization that this was his fault. If he hadn't gotten all depressed and gone to that club, Hisoka wouldn't have worried about him or sensed him getting drunk and wouldn't have come, and then the man may not have…

"It's not your fault," he heard a whisper reach his ears, causing him to look up. The green irises stared back at him, despite the tired look they held deep within them. They flickered once to the right, then to the left before closing again, the owner of the eyes allowing his head to fall back, leaning back against the wall once more, exhaling slowly. "It's not your fault… so don't blame yourself, you fool."

"Gomen, Hisoka," he replied quietly. He offered the cup of water to the teen, but noticed that Hisoka's hands were shaking as they reached out to take the cup. Tsuzuki shook his head then. "No, let me do it, you're shaking."

Unable to have the strength to refuse, Hisoka allowed the elder man to wrap an arm around his shoulders, supporting him, leaning him against the broad chest, as he brought the cup rim to his dusty lips, watching as the boy took a small sip. At the first drink, the boy choked and pulled back, coughing as his lungs—or rather, what was left of his lungs—forced it back up. When he got his breathing normal again, he was able to drink properly.

After he had drained the cup, the boy leaned his head onto Tsuzuki's shoulder, his wings moving comfortably to rest their injured joints against his back, as he proceeded in closing his emerald eyes. Tsuzuki felt a question that had been eating away at him for the past few minutes.

"Hisoka?" he asked hesitantly, wondering if the boy was still conscious. After all, the angel needed his rest to restore his strength and his body.

"Hmm?" came a small response.

"Why did you do that?" Tsuzuki asked, biting his lower lip as his grip unconsciously tightened on the limp body in his arms as a tear rolled down his cheek. "Why did you save me that way?"

"Because…" Slowly, those emerald irises slid back, flickering between the tear he had just shed and the pained amethyst eyes. Hisoka's mouth settled into a frown as a corn silk hand came up to wipe away that tear. "You would have died."

"But you're suffering," Tsuzuki protested. "I would rather die than to see any of my friends suffer like this."

The frown deepened. "I know… which is why I did it. My job is to keep you safe at all costs… to protect you against what I couldn't be protected from."

"That man?" Tsuzuki asked, afraid of the answer.

Hisoka nodded. "That man killed me… he was the reason I died. Now, he is the reason I fight. I can't kill him, but at least, I can protect you from him."

"God sent you to do this?" Tsuzuki said, more of a statement than a question.

Another nod was the response. "He did. It was because my prayers were with any other child that man was to abuse."

"He abused you?" Tsuzuki asked, now horrified.

Hisoka bit his own lip. "…In a few ways."

"How?" Tsuzuki asked, scared that his protector was in more than just physical pain.

"I don't really want to say," Hisoka said, flicking his gaze away from those prying amethysts. "At least, not at this time… I would prefer to tell you after I heal… is that okay?"

Tsuzuki nodded quickly, reaching down to clutch Hisoka's hand as his eyes filled with unshed tears. "Of course… of course it's okay."

Hisoka nodded in small thanks before those green forest eyes slid closed again. Hisoka's ash bangs fell over those eyes as his conscious slipped away, leaving his drained body to rest in the arms of his client.

Tsuzuki gazed down at the sleeping angel and ran a hand through the sandy hair, brushing it away from his eyes. Sadness filled Tsuzuki as he watched his friend sleep in his arms, wondering what the boy had been through in his life before that man had killed him.

Muraki. The name was like poison vile on his tongue if he dare breathe the word. He hated that man for coming after them, for putting Hisoka through whatever hell he was capable of… for nearly killing Hisoka a second time. He silently swore to himself that he would kill that man if it took his life in the process. He would avenge Hisoka.


	9. Past Revealed

**A/N: As some may have noticed, I've added my own characters: Alexandra, Diego, Astor, etc. Anyone who isn't in the YnM cast belongs to ME. ME, ME, ME! No one can use my characters without my permission! I've already had to nearly sue someone because they used my characters without asking me first. I realize that we don't ask the creators of the anime/manga which we write, but all the same, characters thought up by me (me being 15) belong to ME! I take great pride in my work and my own characters, which I will appreciate to remain mine unless you ask to use them.**

**Saphira Nakare Ruakara**

Recommended listening: _Dead Boy's Poem_ by **Nightwish **

My Angel

Chapter Nine

Green eyes fluttered open in a graceful dance and the owner of such heavenly eyes blinked once before taking a deep breath. A corn silk hand came up to touch the newly mended chest and flitted over the place that had once been the position of the injury. Hisoka blinked again as he found himself looking up at the ceiling above his head and realized that he had been placed in a bed. Sitting up slowly, as to not strain his recently healed body, he looked around and saw Tsuzuki sleeping with a blanket over him in a chair just a little bit away from the end of the bed. He was asleep.

'_He must have been watching me for a long time,'_ Hisoka thought, glancing at the clock. It was very early a.m., around four or five. He pulled back the covers that had been wrapped around his body and sat up completely, throwing his legs over the edge of the bed. Creeping quietly out of the room, he walked into the kitchen and leaned over the sink, looking down at the shiny metal surface that smiled back at him, his reflection being evidence of that. Sighing, Hisoka took down a glass from the nearest cabinet and filled it with water before walking over to look out the window.

Glancing down at his dull pendant, Hisoka breathed a sigh of relief as he realized they were still out of danger. The green eyes looked from the necklace to the glass of water, the water that looked back at him, displaying his reflection as much as the sink had just before. Blinking, he watched as his past unfolded before him again, the reflection playing across the surface of the water in the glass, swishing every now and then with the turn of events. Hisoka was so engrossed with his thinking that he didn't notice the other, newly awakened presence in the room.

"Hisoka?"

The angel looked up after a moment of hearing his name and his eyes came to a rest on his client's drowsy form, the eyes blinking and trying to focus on him. Hisoka nodded and said, "Get some rest, Tsuzuki. It's still early."

"Are you all right?"

Hisoka gave him a look. "I said I'd heal."

Tsuzuki shook his head lazily. "That's… not what I was asking. When I came out, you looked so serious and… well, is anything wrong?"

Deciding to keep his word, although it wasn't much, Hisoka sighed and replied, "I'm just thinking about how I died."

"Oh." There wasn't any other response Tsuzuki could come up with at the moment, especially at the somewhat solemn look on Hisoka's face. The green eyes were set into a transparent water-orb of emotion and he was frowning as he looked outside, half-seeing his reflection in the frosty window and half-seeing the light snowfall.

After a moment, Hisoka said, "I said I'd tell you about my past."

Tsuzuki snapped to reality and out of his dream state, looking at his angel intensely, waiting for more, but Hisoka shook his head. "But if you don't mind, I'd rather we wait until after your work today."

"O-okay." Tsuzuki didn't actually think that Hisoka would honestly reveal his past, especially after it involved that demon, Muraki. Before the elder man left, he glanced back once to his angel, who was looking out the window again. His hands were in his pockets, his long bangs falling over his eyes, and those eyes… those eyes full of unshed tears gleaming behind a veil of ice that seemed to only be brought up when he was around to delve, but this ice… this ice wasn't as cold as it used to me. The tip of the iceberg had been broken.

-X-

It had been a few hours since he had first arrived at work. At first, he had been a good worker, trying to get stuff done faster, even if it were sloppy, but at least done. But as a few of those hours passed, he slowed down and came to the point where, in fact, he wasn't doing any work at all. Tsuzuki sighed as he played with his pencil, not concentrating on the paperwork in front of him. Instead, he thought of his angel. Hisoka. The name meaning "secret". That secret was being his entire existence; not just the name, but his entire core of being for him… but what exactly was the secret?

"Tsuzuki-san?"

Purple eyes blinked as he heard his name form the open doorway. He looked up at he met sapphire eyes behind a sheet of glass while chestnut locks fell around the face. "Oh, Tatsumi."

"You seem solemn today," the said man exclaimed, outing a file down on Tsuzuki's desk.

Tsuzuki forced a smile. "Do I?"

Tatsumi nodded. "You do."

Tsuzuki sighed again. "I'm sorry. There's just been a little bit on my mind."

"Such as?"

"Nothing important."

"For you to be distracted as much as you are, it must be."

"Well…" Another sigh. "A friend of mine is going to tell me something I've wanted to know for a bit now, but he seems like he's afraid as to how I'll react."

"Go on."

"Well, it's obviously something dangerous and I'm not sure how I should help him. He's still a little cold to me, but it's like he doesn't want to be."

Tatsumi tapped his chin thoughtfully. He wasn't exactly specialized in these kinds of matters. "I think all you can do is just be there and listen as intently as you can. At the very least."

Tsuzuki smiled. 'Thanks."

"It's nearly time to leave. If this matter is important enough to distract you, I do not think you'll get any more work finished. I'll allow you to leave early today."

"Really? Sankyuu!"

Tsuzuki grabbed his coat and nearly bolted out of the office. Tatsumi watched for a moment before he smiled, one of his rare smiles. _'Good luck, Tsuzuki. With whatever it is… truthfully.'_

-X-

Hisoka looked down at his bloodied hand, cursing himself. Taking a quick breath, he blew on the blood and the hidden cut underneath. A small crackle was heard as the skin melded back together, stitching back the nerve endings and the muscle. Pascal yipped and looked up at the angel, his small, beady puppy eyes curious and his tail wagging enthusiastically.

"All right, all right, hold on," Hisoka murmured as he picked up the shards of glass, being careful not to cut himself a second time. Once the shards were in the trashcan, he turned to the puppy and picked him up, carrying him over to the counter and placing him down in front of a small milk bowl. Puppies needed the nutrient of milk and vitamins from the puppy formula to grow strong teeth before they began to eat real dog food. Pascal looked down at the milk formula before sniffing it and lapping it up.

Hisoka heard the front door open and an exhausted sigh as someone stumbled inside, the sound of a slam heard behind the intruder. Glancing behind him, he saw his client Tsuzuki hang up his coat in the hall closet, his bag lying by the door and the shoes kicked off somewhat carelessly.

When he turned around, Hisoka gave him a funny look. "You're two hours early."

Tsuzuki blinked and returned the weird look. "Huh? Tatsumi said that it was nearly the end of work."

Hisoka blinked, his eyes getting slightly wide. "Seiichiro Tatsumi is your boss?"

Tsuzuki's mouth dropped open. "How'd you know?"

Hisoka blinked, brought up his icy barrier again and shrugged. "I _am_ your guardian."

"That's true."

Hisoka reached back and gently pet Pascal, lightly scratching his ears, causing the puppy to yip in acceptance and wag his tiny tail. He picked the dog up and placed him in his lap as he sat down on the couch, rolling the animal on its back and rubbing its stomach. Tsuzuki took in the sight with a small smile. Hisoka seemed to have an infant's curiosity going on behind his eyes as his fingers played with the puppy's paws, watching in almost complete fascination as Pascal caught his finger with his front two paws and nipped at it with his tiny, under-developed teeth.

Tsuzuki was really having a hard time believing that this boy, no, young man, was really murdered. It had to be a mistake. Perhaps a disease or a simple car accident with his parents. But when those green eyes lifted up to look into his own then, he could see the confliction and knew that his fake assumptions were just that. Fake. Anything he thought up as an excuse wasn't the truth. And he knew that.

"I—I'm going to make some tea," he said before turning into the kitchen, leaving Hisoka on the couch to play with the small animal that was Pascal. The green eyes followed him until he was out of eyesight; he could feel them burn into his back with that deep gaze. He let out a shaky sigh and gathered some water and placed it in a kennel over the stove, setting the temperature on high. He set the teabags right beside it, so he could add them immediately when the water was hot enough.

After a few minutes, Hisoka came in with a snoozing Pascal in his arms, one of the puppy's ears flicking against his arm. "You're not going to stand there until it's done, are you?"

Tsuzuki gave him a weird look. Hisoka sighed. "It takes more than just a few minutes, baka."

"I guess," Tsuzuki murmured.

"Come back to the living room. I need to tell you something," Hisoka beckoned before he went back to the other room, placing Pascal in his small puppy bed. Tsuzuki followed, somewhat reluctantly. He watched his angel place the small animal down on the soft feather filled pillow that was its bed. A corn silk hand covered the small pup up with a blanket to keep it warm.

"I said I'd tell you about my past so you'd understand me… and I don't intend to go back on my word," said the angel as he stood up, turning around to show the strength in his eyes, but also the wavering fear that hid behind it, behind the icy green veil of the abyss. The angel sat down on the couch and motioned for Tsuzuki to sit down again. The man did so, in the armchair directly across from the couch and he looked at the teen intently, showing Hisoka that he had his attention. Hisoka sighed. This wasn't going to be easy, but at least he could get it off his chest. So he began his story.

"I was born into the Kurosaki family that dates back to the Kamakura era of Japan. It was a wealthy family and noble one, and they saved the village from a snake god, Yatonogami, that was one of the many angels that fell from heaven and was banished by God." Hisoka looked up once before he sighed. "I was going to be the seventeenth head of the family as soon as I was born, but… you can say that didn't exactly happen.

"When I was four, my parents found out about my powers. They began to grow fearful of me and thought it was Yatonogami's power to curse our family, killing each head young, even if it were a boy."

"That's terrible," Tsuzuki interjected with a face.

Hisoka shrugged. "I'm not so sure that was the worst part about it."

Tsuzuki looked at him as the angel continued. "What I mean is, as a child, I needed a parent's love, a parent's care, friends, people to be with. I didn't get that. When they found out about my empathy, they locked me away in the basement for nine years, bringing two meals down twice a day and making sure no one saw me. Visitors and houseguests avoided the basement under my father's rule, because he made up the excuse that not only was it messy, but because he said that anyone who went down there would die. A load of bull that was…"

Tsuzuki's mouth dropped open. "This is your _father _we're talking about?"

Hisoka nodded. "My mother avoided guests, so that's how I know. And even if I was in that wretched room, I could still feel the emotions and thoughts from upstairs. Everyone believed him and felt fear while my father felt pride and satisfaction with himself."

"That's not the worst of it, though, is it?" Tsuzuki asked, a dreadful tone in his voice.

Hisoka shook his head. "Depends on your definition of worse." He shrugged. "But anyway… I was in there for nine years. During those nine years, I was trained in some of the martial arts in hopes of quote-on-quote "exorcising the demon within me". It only taught me to hit targets, take out frustration, and shoot an arrow, to be blunt about it. Soon, my parents gave up when I was twelve and still had fainting spells because of my empathy."

Hisoka leaned back and looked up at the ceiling with a somewhat solemn look in his eyes. "There was one night in summer; I remember it a little too well. It was summer and it was really humid in the basement. I couldn't sleep. I could hardly breathe. There was no air conditioning down there. So I went to one corner of the room by the window. I was taller then, so I could reach up and open it instead of punching it out like I had once planned. So I opened the small window and slipped outside. There was a night breeze and blew across my face. I had welcomed it. Out in the back, there was a hill and we had a grove of cherry blossom trees. Some of the blossoms were being blown off and around my face. I was too young to understand that with such beauty came such misery…"

"What happened?" Tsuzuki inquired, leaning forward a little, a worried look in his eyes.

Hisoka leveled his head and stared straight into the concerned purple eyes, his own mirroring a deep sorrow. "You really are sure you want to hear this?"

Tsuzuki took a moment to think on that. Hisoka seemed both daring and hesitant about the topic. What did that mean, in actuality? But all the same, Tsuzuki nodded. He was nosy, but he wanted to know. He wanted to know so he could understand. Hisoka leaned back again, letting out a small sigh. He knew this wasn't going to be easy and he had hoped Tsuzuki would hold off, but no. He had to get past this barrier once and for all.

"There was one cherry tree off a little to my left," Hisoka began again in a low tone, one he was trying to keep even and monotonous. "There were two people there. A man and a woman. At first, I thought they were kissing… you know, trying to make out under the tree. I was disgusted. But that's not what they were doing. The man was holding the woman. I saw silver before it vanished. When I looked again, the woman was dead. She lay on the ground in a pool of blood, one of her limbs missing. I didn't know what it meant. But then he turned his gaze to me."

Tsuzuki's breath caught. He knew what was going to happen, as his mind could work those things out, but he said nothing, waiting for Hisoka to continue. He knew the boy didn't really want to talk about his past right now, but he was and this would probably be the only chance he could ever have.

"I couldn't run. I couldn't even move. He came over to me. I was caught. I struggled, but he wouldn't let me go. He dragged me to the cherry tree. He… he stripped me and laid me under the tree, right next to the pool of blood. He raped me that night…"

"Hisoka…"

"And he cursed me." Hisoka's expression darkened as he closed his eyes, a frown settled on his lips. "Cursed a long, slow, painful death. Three years. It took three years for me to die in the hospital. Every bone in my body craved death with each day that I wouldn't die. I only ever felt at peace at time when Alexandra and Diego took me away."

Hisoka opened his eyes to the ceiling, the emerald orbs gleaming slightly. But he was strong. He didn't need to cry about it anymore. He had done enough crying with Diego and he was done.

"That's what happened," Hisoka stated, sitting back upright again. Tsuzuki was staring at him, open-mouthed in shock, his eyes wide and holding unshed tears. Tears for him that could not be released. Hisoka sighed. "You asked, so I told you."

"I know, but—"

"Don't protest, Tsuzuki," Hisoka interrupted. "Muraki did this to me. Ive learned to live with it."

"How can he still hurt you?" Tsuzuki asked. "I mean, you're…"_'Dead? Is that what I was going to say?_'

Hisoka shrugged his shoulders before waving his hand, dismissing it. "If I knew, I'd tell you, but I don't."

Tsuzuki leaned back in his chair before standing up. Hisoka gave him a weird look. Smiling a bit, Tsuzuki headed towards the bedroom. "I'll be right back."

Somehow, Hisoka doubted it, but he let his client go all the same. Hisoka, himself, needed a few minutes to think.

-X-

Tsuzuki sank to the floor, leaning against the tile wall for back support and shut his eyes tightly again as hot rivers made their way down his face unashamedly. He knew he was crying, but he could not find it within himself to stop the salt water trickling down his face. He did not want Hisoka to see him like this, but at the same time, he didn't feel like moving at all. He suddenly didn't care if the boy thought of him as weak or not. Crying always seemed to help him feel better, even if he was running away inside of himself.

A soft hand placed itself gently on his cheek, causing his eyes to open and immediately loose themselves in swirling emerald orbs with deep emotion and intensity that he felt could stare into his very soul. The look in those forest eyes was soft, it was as though they were not eyes, but rather polished jewels, yet they could just as easily be a green abyss that had no bottom, pools mixed with emotion and thoughts that were careful to be gentle as they looked at him.

Another hand came up to touch his opposite cheek, holding his face in small hands with thumbs that wiped at his tears, stripping them of their path downward and sending them away from the perfect face in which they had just tried to taint. The owner of the face could not bring himself to look away from those bottomless emerald eyes with elegant eyelashes surrounded by strands of elongated sand. The amethyst wavered as Tsuzuki's body began to shake.

Hisoka's cool hands did not move from their position on his face, even as the tears began to lessen. He continually wiped them away and was now waiting patiently for Tsuzuki to calm down. Ever so slowly, the shaking began to cease and the soft hands on his face slid down to rest gently on his shoulders.

"Tsuzuki, what's wrong?" he asked quietly, the green gaze becoming less intense as the boy backed off slightly, giving Tsuzuki a little room, but not releasing his hands from the elder man's shoulders.

"I-it's nothing, Hisoka," Tsuzuki faked a smile. "It's nothing, really."

The green eyes hid themselves behind eyelids as the owner of them closed them purposely, shaking his head slightly before they were revealed again, this time, seemingly even more alluring than before. "It's not nothing. You're blaming yourself for what happened to me, aren't you?"

"You shouldn't have gone through that," Tsuzuki whispered, trying to choke back a sob. "And now that I know what h-happened t-to you… I-I-I—"

"Shh."

Hisoka placed a finger to his lips, effectively silencing him. Tearful amethyst looked up at him behind lashes that clung to the tears and a face that was beginning to hurt from crying. The hands replaced themselves on his cheeks and their foreheads touched gently as Hisoka let out a sigh, his cool breath fanning Tsuzuki's face. "It's all right… It's not your fault this happened to me."

"But I-I—"

"Shh…"

The boy's breath, his cold hands, the gentle caress, it was all so much to have at one time. Tsuzuki finally broke down, wrapping his arms around the small body in front of him and buried his face into that small chest, tears flowing down his face freely as his shoulders began to shake. Surprisingly, Hisoka didn't seem to mind. And if he did, he didn't show any trace of it. He was quiet as he took his client into his arms and ran his hands across his back in an attempt to sooth his pain, gently resting his head in the brown hair, hiding his emerald eyes behind their eyelids.

No one was counting how long they stayed that way, the young keeping the elder's head against his chest with his arms draped across his shoulders and the elder's arms around his waist. Hisoka's wings came forward and miraculously were able to cover them both in an oval position, a soft cocoon of white. The pulsing was gentle and soft, sending a relaxing vibe down Tsuzuki's spine as his sobbing began to quiet. His ears began to focus on the angel's heartbeat and his tense shoulders relaxed into the timid hold, his body uncurling from its ball and the muscles no longer stiff against him. His eyelids fell limp against his eyes as his ear took in the sound of Hisoka's heart beating in his chest, a slow, gentle rhythm Tsuzuki had never heard before.

Then, softly, Hisoka asked, "Do you know what truth is, Tsuzuki?"

Tsuzuki did not know why Hisoka was asking him that and he was about to nod in response when he stopped. He was thinking that truth was being honest and confessing all sins and doubts and cover-ups… yet that didn't seem like the answer Hisoka was looking for. Tsuzuki shook his head instead as his answer, keeping his eyes closed.

"Truth resembles a man in his orchard with his trees surrounding him," Hisoka whispered quietly. "Trees he planted with his own hand. The trees give him their ripened fruit as he and his children and perhaps even his children's children rejoice in the beauty given to them. Can you see that picture Tsuzuki?"

Tsuzuki barely nodded into the boy's chest. Hisoka went on in an even quieter voice.

"The man took the truth and planted it into the earth, giving it time to grow and thrive… And now he sits under the boughs that arch over him, sits in the shade the trees selflessly provide for him, giving him the fruit he needs to live and the happiness of having such a life that helps him through his own path."

One of Hisoka's hands came up to run itself through his hair, petting him slowly and carefully, as if marveling his sheer existence. Tsuzuki thought about what Hisoka had just told him. It was logic that held no truth, yet its entire core thrived on the word.

"Tsuzuki?"

Tsuzuki opened his eyes and looked up at the angel, who looked down at him with soft eyes that held swirling waters of life, yet the emotion there was somewhat sad, as if he were daydreaming, but Tsuzuki could see concentration in those orbs.

"Will you be honest to me?"

Tsuzuki laid his head back against that small chest and nodded, his eyes fluttering closed with some grace. He felt that hand petting his hair again.

"Will you not run from me?" he then heard as the tone in the angel's voice saddened more evidently than before. Tsuzuki thought about it for a moment. He knew he could not lie to the angel holding him now, but at the same time, he did not want the angel to always be worried about him. Then again, Tsuzuki remembered that Hisoka said it was his job to care for him, worry for him, and protect him. Tsuzuki didn't want to put anything else on his guardian's shoulders.

"You don't have to run from me," Hisoka whispered, closing his own eyes. "You don't ever have to hide anything from me. I promise."

That was the first thing Hisoka ever promised him something. He knew that the angel said not to make promises as they would always be broken, but now… now he was ensuring his guardian duty to his promise to be understanding of the elder man's feelings and thoughts. Whatever happened, it seemed, Hisoka would always understand.

Tsuzuki nodded slowly, a lone tear seeping past his lash. "I won't run… from you anymore…"

A small hand came up to wipe the tear away, stroking his cheek. "Thank you, Tsuzuki."

Time passed between the two, but they refused to move from their positions together, both content and relaxed with the way they were. Outside, the wind had died down and the snow ceased falling for the time being as the clouds began to dissipate, the half moon shining its silvery rays through the window and onto them. Tsuzuki's shoulders relaxed their tense muscles as he felt those soft hands comb gently through his hair, soothing and protective, the sound of his guardian's soft breathing ghosting into his ear, but not touching or tickling. Nevertheless, he could feel everything around him, as if he had become more aware of everything in the world at once.

It was another few minutes before Hisoka broke the silence, "Ne, Tsuzuki. If you take a shower you'll feel better."

The gleaming amethyst eyes looked up at him before twinkling as the owner smiled slightly. "Yeah, I think I will."

Hisoka released the man immediately as if it had burned him, but he showed no signs of pain or disgust. Tsuzuki shakily stood up on his feet and began to pad towards the bathroom, grabbing a new set of clothes and flashing a small smile before closing the door behind him. Hisoka took a deep breath and then let it out. Slowly.

He himself stood up and he walked to the windowsill, looking up at the sky. His emotions melded together and his thoughts jumbled themselves in his mind. _'Why do I feel this way? God help me… what should I do?'_

But the night was silent.


	10. Sacred Story

Recommended listening: _Celtic Dream_ by** Enigma**

My Angel

Chapter Ten

"Ne, Hisoka?"

It was late now, very late as the crescent moon shone its thin silver ray upon the dark green earth littered with brown and black. Few blue clouds with white linings shielded the stars from human eye view. The said person turned his head as he heard his name. He was currently perched on the windowsill, one leg upright against his chest while the other dangled off, swaying slightly in the same time as the crickets' chirp to the night.

"Is there something you need, Tsuzuki?" he asked with a gentle tone, nothing like the one he used hours before when up against that Muraki man. His emerald eyes were even soft as the breeze played with his sandy hair.

The one he mentioned had just come out of the shower, wearing a button up white dress shirt and ordinary black pants, his hair dripping with a few drops of water. His amethyst gazed on to the emerald as the chocolate bangs swam in and out of the line of vision. A small smile pulled itself back on Tsuzuki's face as he glanced out the window to the night sky.

"Will you tell me about Heaven, Hisoka?"

Hisoka blinked. He hadn't really been expecting such a question, having never been asked it before, and it took him a moment to think of the reasons in which Tsuzuki would ask that. The man was going to reach the sacred place one day. He should be patient when it came to his death. It was true you didn't want to die too soon, fear of loosing many things you could not experience in the next life that could only be experienced while alive. All the same…

"Well… all right," Hisoka said. "As best as I can, anyway."

Tsuzuki walked until he was standing on the other end of the windowsill, facing Hisoka directly, giving him full attention. Hisoka smiled a bit and said, "You might want to sit down. Standing up is going to cramp after a bit."

Tsuzuki blinked before he settled himself on the other end of the windowsill, sitting completely across from Hisoka and leaned against the thin beam inside the window space. His amethyst eyes turned on Hisoka as the teen glanced outside again, the silver rays of the moon playing in the swirling depths of his eyes and the gentle breeze of the ending winter playing with his bangs as they danced in front of those alluring orbs. Even his face seemed to glow in the moonlight as his wings pulsed again.

"Heaven is… no words can probably describe the Heaven I have seen," Hisoka began, mulling over his words as he went. "It's beyond the word beautiful. It's beyond the impossible and yet, it's still there, always to greet me when I return to it."

"When do you have to return to it?" Tsuzuki asked, taking the chance to do so as Hisoka paused.

A small smile brought Hisoka's lips up. "Mm… not for a while."

"Oh… then continue."

"All right. When you are up there, even if you're stressed out from being down here on earth or on a mission, the first site astounds you and soothes out all of your feelings. It just takes your breath away, making you feel tranquil for an endless time."

Tsuzuki closed his eyes, trying to imagine the feeling. Then, he asked quietly, "What does it look like?"

Casting Tsuzuki a smile that the elder man could not see, Hisoka continued as he glanced once more out at the night sky.

"Beyond words. The sun is always shining, even when you must sleep, but it does not disturb you. The clouds are as soft as feathers plucked from angel's wings, the trees there are always healthy with energy that calls out to the birds that never age, to the foxes that never slow, to everything that has immortality in existence. The springs are of liquid gold and the cloth is softer than velvet or silk. The points of my arrows are pure silver carved by hand with rock and crystal and the wood for the arrow's body is of the same bark as the trees, yet the trees there do not mind. They give themselves unto us for all of our needs. The palace of God is as golden and beautiful as the haven surrounding it. Its walls are of the highest defense and the inside of it is as if you were stepping through an endless palace within a palace. Go through one way, you end in another and vice versa."

Hisoka then turned to face Tsuzuki, who had his eyes closed as his mind was racing with images to help him see what it was like. A warm feeling began to settle inside of Hisoka even as he felt the cold wind on his pale skin. The cold just wasn't in the wind anymore to him. It had dissipated as soon as it came near him. He took in a deep breath and his wings pulsed with the notion. A frown replaced the smile on Hisoka's face after a moment and he said softly, "You do not believe you'll reach that place, do you?"

Eyelids slid back, revealing the saddened amethyst. "No… I don't."

"Why?"

Tsuzuki did not respond. He didn't know how to. He looked at sadly at the angel before him before he sighed and turned his eyes to the outside. "I don't know…"

"You do know," Hisoka confirmed, but not in a demanding voice, more so in a softer voice that could tell him he could back out if he asked to.

"I know… I just can't really put it into words," Tsuzuki admitted. "Like you can."

A faint tint of color unseen by moonlit eyes spread itself across Hisoka's face at the praise and he sighed, closing his eyes and shaking his head, both disagreeing with Tsuzuki and trying to get rid of the blush. "There _are _limits to an angel's vocabulary, Tsuzuki."

"I didn't think there were," Tsuzuki said, a little surprised.

Hisoka smiled a bit and looked up, green eyes swimming with content and a little amusement. "There are. It's more so that speaking without voice fillers, so practically anyone could do it. It's not about using big fancy words or fewer contractions, but more about how you use your words to influence what you're saying. Angels do not admit this. It scares them."

"Why are they scared of that?" Tsuzuki asked. "It's not anything to get worked up about."

"Mm, I agree with you," Hisoka sighed. "Just shows no angel is perfect."

"I always thought they were," Tsuzuki admitted.

"No angel is perfect," Hisoka repeated, shaking his head slightly, opening his gleaming green eyes. "Everyone thinks angels and all heavenly beings are beyond perfection by God's hand, but that's not true. Nothing is perfect. That's a useless presumption."

"Oh… sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry for," Hisoka countered calmly, his eyes sliding shut again as his head leaned against the windowsill frame, his graceful neck exposed to the moonlight as it bounced off the creamy skin, reflecting against the side of his face, casting part of it within shadow. Tsuzuki's breath caught itself in his throat and he had to take a silent deep breath to get his irregular breathing normal again.

"Is there an angel for everything?" Tsuzuki asked after a few minutes.

Hisoka looked at him and for a moment, Tsuzuki saw the foreign longing look, as if he had something to tell him, but it was soon gone as the boy nodded.

"There is," he said gently. "For every art, element, power… there's one for everything and still more to give."

"You're archery, right?" Tsuzuki asked. "Isn't Artemis supposed to be the archer?"

Hisoka laughed. He actually laughed. It was quite the sight for Tsuzuki. The white wings pulsed quickly and it seemed as though Hisoka's face lit up with an innocent joy that sparked a small fire inside of him, the green eyes glittering like jewels and the hair falling around those jewels, making them alluring. The angel calmed down after a minute with a smile on his face Tsuzuki wished to stay up there forever. "Are you talking about that Greek Mythology crap?" (1)

"Umm…" Tsuzuki wasn't sure how to answer as he flushed slightly. That _was_ what he had thought of. He had grown up with his sister Ruka telling him of Japanese and Greek religions.

"Sorry about that," Hisoka said, putting a hand to his chest. "It's probably only natural people think that, but trust me; it's more complicated than that."

"Can you tell me?" Tsuzuki asked.

Hisoka nodded. "Yeah, I can. As I said before, there are angels or winged protectors of every element, art, and power. The elements, such as fire and water, arts such as archery or swordsmanship, as well as pictorial arts are the first few. And of course, powers such as empathy, telepathy, sensitivity, and psychological physism, or to be more specific, psychic ability. There are also classes of angels in order to—"

Wait, hold on," Tsuzuki interrupted. "Classes? Doesn't everyone have the same stature in Heaven?"

Hisoka sighed and shook his head. "Not everything you hear is true, Tsuzuki."

Tsuzuki blinked. Hisoka looked up at him and for a second moment in time, a flicker of sadness crossed them along with that same longing from before but the eyes hid themselves behind the eyelids again.

"Everyone has the same _value_ in Heaven, but not the same _stature_, or position how you think of it. In God's eyes, we are all the same with our belief, but we sometimes have better abilities than others do. Before I died, I practiced archery, being the 17th head of the family name. I was so good at it; the previous angel of archery gave her position unto me when I was… when I died. I have been the guardian of archery for a few years now. A friend of mine in Heaven, Diego, is the angel guardian of life. He does more work than I do, believe me."

"Angel of life? Does he go around and save the dead?" Tsuzuki asked for confirmation.

Hisoka pondered about it for a moment, and then began hesitantly, "Not… exactly…"

Tsuzuki blinked at him again. The green turned to his amethyst before the owner of such eyes blinked back. The moon was right above them, having moved silently through its proud black sky whilst they had talked. A silence was now between them as the green stared into amethyst and the amethyst stared into the green. Hisoka broke the contact, flushing slightly, before beginning to explain.

"Diego, angel of life, goes around with his partner Alexandra, angel of death, whom you already know of, to check every soul, seeing if it is their time to go or live longer. If that person's life is time to become a different life, Alexandra will take that life in the most peaceful way possible. If that person's life is still strong, but ill, Diego will give the soul more time to enjoy the life they have not seen before until that point by taking away some of the more severe parts of that person's condition." Hisoka sighed. "I saw both of them when I died."

Tsuzuki stared. "You did?"

Hisoka nodded, closing his eyes as he laid his head on his leg, looking back up at the night. "I did. Neither of them could do anything within their power to help me. I was one of the rarer cases."

"Rarer cases?" Tsuzuki asked hesitantly, afraid of the explanation he was bound to get.

Another nod and although Tsuzuki could not see it, a droplet fell from Hisoka's eye, disappearing like dust almost immediately in the face of the night. "A case where Diego could not grant me more life, as it would be more torment unto me, and where Alexandra could not take me in peace, but rather quickly with the pain. Neither of them could stop what happened… nor help me even as I was dying in the hospital."

The boy felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked up, not noticing the second tear rolling down his cheek. A hand came up to wipe it away and soon, the angel felt himself embraced by his client. Relaxing almost immediately into the welcoming touch, the boy laid his head on that broad chest and closed his eyes, ignoring another sad tear that was traveling its lonely way down his pale cheek. He did not mind being held in a hold like this by his client, but rather, he enjoyed the feeling that someone else understood how he felt.

After a moment, Hisoka reluctantly broke the contact, avoiding the purple gaze and took a deep breath. "But the fact that I was given such a position in Heaven, I knew it was a lot better than being in the hospital, so I took it. Alexandra and Diego still feel bad for me and they know I can sense it. No matter how many times I tell them it's not their faults, they keep thinking they could have done something. They couldn't, so the delusion remains firmly in their minds as they try and think of ways they could have helped me. But even if they did think of something now, they can't go back in time and change anything. The angel of time is very strict."

"There's an angel of time, too?" Tsuzuki asked.

Hisoka nodded. "As I said before, there's an angel or guardian for everything, including time. And of course, there's one for every planet, star, nova… you get it now, right?"

"Sort of…"

"Do you want me to explain a few of them? Because I already can feel you don't understand half of what I'm telling you."

Tsuzuki flushed and gave the angel a nervous smile. "Well, if you don't mind…"

Hisoka shook his head. "No, I don't mind."

"Well, you can always tell me tomorrow, you know," Tsuzuki said. "It's starting to get late now."

"Hint the keyword _'starting'_," Hisoka retorted with a small smile. "I don't mind, really."

"Well, if you're sure…"

"I am." Hisoka leaned back against the window frame again, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply. He seemed tired, but he refused to use that as an excuse to end his informational conversation with his client.

"There's an angel for each of the seven main elements: earth, water, fire, wind, light, darkness, and magic. Each is harmonized and in balance with one another in a circle that keeps them alive. Fire is extinguished by water; earth soaks up the water, wind blows the earth, light blocks the wind, the darkness restores energy, magic fuels to the darkness, so on, and so forth. They keep balance in order of the universe under the hand of God."

"No offense, Hisoka, but can you please not mention God?" Tsuzuki requested.

The angel threw him both a strange and amused look before shrugging, eyebrows slightly raised. "If you don't want me to."

"Thanks," Tsuzuki said, grateful the angel understood so well, just like that. It seemed ironic that he would follow instructions of his client when it was really him that needed to be telling Tsuzuki what to do.

"Well, as I said, they are in balance together, even if they do not always get along and they control what occurs around them. Other angels are also coordinated with each other. The moons, the planets, the stars, and everything in relation to those are together. The Angel of Time, Ancyra; the Angel of Fate Nacelles; and the Angel of Destiny, Sana'a; they help keep the main elements in balance and decide peoples' fate in both Heaven, Earth, and on rarer occasions, Hell. They're paired with Diego and Alexandra every so often and provide sources of information to get the job done." (2)

"Angels don't rest, do they?" Tsuzuki asked, smiling a bit.

Hisoka smiled a bit, too. "We do, just not often. We can go a little more than a week with no rest, if it is a normal job, but my job here, protecting you; I have to rest more often than not. So try not to be surprised if you come home and I'm napping."

Tsuzuki chuckled. "I'll try."

"You better," Hisoka replied before he yawned, his fatigue beginning to show. "I think that's enough for tonight."

Tsuzuki nodded. "It's late."

"No shit, Sherlock," Hisoka said bluntly, as he slid off the windowsill.

Tsuzuki stopped, stunned. "Did you just curse?"

Hisoka glanced up at the purple eyes. "Does it matter?"

"But don't angels have restrictions against cur—"

"Baka. Of course we do. Just up there, only." Hisoka pointed up to the night sky, as if he were pointing out the obvious, in which case it would be Heaven.

"So you can curse however much you want when you're not in Heaven?" Tsuzuki asked for confirmation.

Hisoka shrugged. "As far as I know. I just never swore a lot in my life, so it is no surprise I don't swear much in my afterlife, right? Does that make sense?"

Tsuzuki shrugged. "I guess so."

"All angels have flaws," Hisoka stated, glancing once more at the silvery moon. "None are perfect, nor will they ever be. It's a universal flaw that couldn't be undone by neither man nor God. It's… different in many cases and it's confusing, but understandable."

"Sou ka," Tsuzuki murmured, following Hisoka's gaze to the moon, not noticing how close he was to the angel, how he was mere inches from his guardian, mere inches that could be closed if only one was bold enough to initiate it. Yet, neither of them moved as they simply looked up, their eyes far apart from one another, but they were transfixed on the same thing.

Hisoka broke his sight from the sky and gazed instead on his client, his eyes swimming over the mortal figure, taking in every curve and tone, every movement even if just the slightest. He got a feeling within him that made him shiver, a feeling that made him somewhat... whole, whenever he was around Tsuzuki. He couldn't describe it, except as... it was just like the feeling he had felt when he has probed Tsuzuki's mind the day he had tried to leave, back before Tsuzuki knew he was an angel.

Unbeknownst to Hisoka, Tsuzuki was feeling the same way. His eyes traveled from the sky to rest on his guardian, meeting his emerald gaze. The intensity of the gaze seemed to burn a hole straight through him, but if it were to burn him into oblivion, then he would welcome it, as the burning seemed soft and gentle, not harsh and deadly as one would expect the flame to be.

Perhaps it was the natural compulsion and want to feel loved or maybe it was the fact that no one was around to protest, nor stop the inches from being closed… But neither of the two noticed that they were slowly inching towards each other, eyes, one pair green and the other pair purple, slowly hiding themselves behind descending eyelids, eyelashes fluttering in a dance as if they were butterfly wings, the said insect already beginning to flap them and take off to soar into the deep sky.

The butterfly spread its wings and flew.

The silver light of the moon and the rustling wind were the only ones to bear witness to the flight of the butterfly, helping its long journey through the clouded sky, caressing each wing and every part of the insect's being. This only went on for a moment before the butterfly began to fall out of its flight, suddenly brought down by an abrupt change and it hit the ground as reality smacked it in the face.

"That shouldn't have happened," Hisoka murmured as he pulled away abruptly, putting his head down, away from his client as his cheeks burned with shame. Tsuzuki blinked a few times before Hisoka's words finally hit him and he too looked away from the angel, who hopped off the windowsill and walked to the door. Hisoka didn't look back as he paused. "I'm sorry. That shouldn't have happened. Goodnight, Tsuzuki. I'll see you tomorrow."

Without waiting for the response, he walked down and pulled the door with him. When the door closed behind him, Hisoka slid to the floor, leaning against the wall, bringing his legs up to his chest, clutching his head in his hands, tangling his fingers into his hair, breathing hard. His heart was pounding in his chest and he felt as if he could not breathe. His hands fell down on top of his legs, one of them slowly rising up to touch the dusty pink lips, the one that had just been pre-occupied with another's…

'_What was that? I felt as if…'_ Tsuzuki's smiling face to mind, then a picture of him in the bar trying to drown his sorrows, then the way he looked when Hisoka had been attacked, and finally when Hisoka had told his past to Tsuzuki. _'As if he were my twin… his emotions mirrored my own… but how is that possible? Please God, forgive me…'_

Closing his eyes and leaning back slowly against the wall, Hisoka picked himself up and began to slowly back his way towards the bathroom. He needed a shower. A cold one.

* * *

_(1) All right, people, I have NOTHING against Greek mythology. In fact, I quite enjoy it. I just decided to use it in this story to help better understand the Heaven that I think exists. At least, the heaven I hope which will be close. Crap, I'm sounding religious again… dammit: zips mouth shut:_

_(2) Ok, I made this up completely. Those characters names belong to ME! I will be using them in my published books later, so NO ONE can use them without my permission first. Ask and maybe I'll let you._


	11. Ai Shiteru

Recommended listening: _A Life So Changed_ composed by **James Horner **

My Angel 

Chapter Eleven

The cold water beat down upon frail skin the color of cream, a pair of perfect white wings stretching out behind the small back, soaking up into the water's brilliance, consuming the heat and releasing the cold that had settled in hours before. Ashen blond hair fell around bottomless green eyes as the slim body moved in fluid motions to help limbs worked their way across the rest of the body, washing and dousing down. Hisoka sang a song in French to himself as he arched his neck back, putting his head under the water , closing his eyes as he felt the droplets fall down his face like tears, yet they were not sad and they were not pure, for they had not come from a person's eyes.

"Avant que tout s'éveille…  
Attrapez-moi  
Mais pas le bout des ailes  
Une fée c'est fragile parfois  
Avant que minuit ne vienne  
Attrapez-moi  
Jeux de mains, je de M  
Emoi…"

He brought his corn silk hands up to clear away the few remaining soap bubbles before adding a small amount of conditioner into that sandy hair. It was at that moment when the sound of a door opening came into earshot and Hisoka shortly stopped his ministrations to look over to the shadow, recognizing the person immediately.

"Hello, Tsuzuki," he said, keeping voice calm, his wings folding into his back as he rubbed the conditioner into his hair, proceeding to rinsing it out under the hot shower jet. "Is there something you need?"

"Umm, well," he heard Tsuzuki stutter, as if he were uncomfortable. "It can wait until you get out. Sorry about coming in…"

"It's all right," Hisoka reassured as he washed the last of his conditioner out. "I was about to get out anyway."

"Oh, then um… I'll talk to you when you come out," Tsuzuki said before closing the door.

Hisoka reached behind him in a single movement and shut off the water tap, shivering as he no longer felt the hot water on his skin, warming him with their innocent touches. He reached through the curtain and pulled out the white towel. He shook his wings dry and proceeded to wrap the towel around his waist he stepped out onto the mat.

He began to dry himself down as he focused on the emotions coming from the bedroom next door. He could feel nervousness, need, want, frustration, all of which was a muddle in Hisoka's mind. He didn't know what to make of those emotions.

He pulled on his clothes, deciding to keep part of the outfit off for now so his wings could dry properly. He gripped the cold, condense-covered doorknob and for a moment, he stopped, hesitating. There was something off with Tsuzuki, but Hisoka knew that it must've been through their mistake. Even so, that didn't seem to be the whole reason. He couldn't figure out what, though. He shrugged, took a deep breath to calm himself, and pulled open the door.

Tsuzuki looked up as Hisoka entered the room, opening his mouth to speak, but stopped short. Hisoka may have had his jeans on, but a shirt was nowhere to be seen, which exposed his creamy torso to the elder man without a care, his hair dripping with the last few droplets of shower water that trailed their way down his back, where his wings settled comfortably in an arc. Hisoka crossed the room towards Tsuzuki and sat on the footboard of the bed frame, looking at his client. "So, what do you need to talk about, Tsuzuki?"

For a moment, Tsuzuki could not speak as the angel (with no shirt on) stood next to him, waiting for an invitation into a conversation by setting his own. Amethyst blinked for a few moments before the owner of the eyes remembered what he needed to talk to Hisoka about. He looked down from the angel's gaze. "Well, it's kind of complicated…"

The empath moved to sit on the bed next to Tsuzuki, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. Tsuzuki's breath hitched at the motion, but it went unnoticed by the angel, as the teen's intense green gaze looked Tsuzuki over. The elder man sighed.

"I'm not really sure how to say this..."

Hisoka blinked. "Could you try? I can't really be of much help if you don't."

Tsuzuki looked up and smiled in a bittersweet way that reminded Hisoka a little of himself whenever he looked back on his past, with all those beatings and all of the harsh torture he had endured.

"To me, I..."

"Go on."

"I don't know if I can say."

"What is it you're trying to say?" Hisoka asked, pressuring him slightly.

"Do you care for me?"

Hisoka's eyes widened. "Of course I--" He stopped himself when he looked into Tsuzuki's eyes. The other wasn't asking if he cared for him for duty. He was asking if he really _truly_ cared for him, outside of his job.

"Baka," he said quietly. "If I didn't, I wouldn't have taken the mission."

"Well, I know _that,_ but..." Tsuzuki sighed. This was going to be hard. His chest was constricting and his heart was beating hard and rough in his ribcage. He had to say it. But he couldn't say it. He had to, but couldn't... had too, but couldn't--

"Ai shiteru... Hisoka." There. He said it.

Hisoka felt that he could not breathe. His hand fell off Tsuzuki's shoulder and he stood up, his eyes widening in disbelief. Tsuzuki's eyes fell down to the floor, long chocolate bangs covering the jewels that held the emotions Hisoka had sensed earlier.

A few minutes passed in an ever-choking silence before Hisoka sighed and began to walk to the half-open door. He stopped as soon as he reached it, placing his hand on the shiny, cold knob, preparing as if he were leaving.

"No one's ever said that to me before, Tsuzuki," Hisoka spoke softly, his head down as his wings glowed brighter and faster in time with his racing heart that he knew Tsuzuki could hear, even if he didn't have his wings.

"I know I shouldn't have said that," Tsuzuki admitted. "But I… I just wanted you to know… I guess this means… you're leaving?"

Hisoka bit his lip as he sensed the grief wafting off Tsuzuki like a tide slowly beginning to come in. The emotion just kept growing and digging deeper, deeper into Hisoka's fragile mind. Tsuzuki looked away from the door and outside, fearing the worst. The angel sensed his movement and bit harder into his lip, hard enough to draw blood, but it healed immediately.

He silently closed the door and turned around, unfurling his wings in a flash, floating over towards his client, whose gaze was locked to looking out his window. He did not acknowledge his guardian until the tips of Hisoka's fingers brushed lightly against the side of his face, startling him as he turned his head sharply at the contact, not noticing the stray tear that had begun to fall. A small hand came up to wipe it away with a gentleness that rivaled any human's, a gentleness that was full of care and understanding, a gentleness that promised something unspoken.

"No, Tsuzuki, I'm not leaving," Hisoka said quietly, caressing his client's face with his small hands. "I'm staying here."

"But… but why?" asked Tsuzuki, eyes widening as he pulled away from those comforting fingers, despite his heart telling him to stay still. Hisoka sighed and straightened, standing tall in front of Tsuzuki, who was leaning back against the bed, only inches from his hands.

"It's my duty, Tsuzuki, to protect you form both Muraki and other dangers we're likely to encounter," Hisoka explained in a soft voice, quite truthfully. "But… that's not the only reason."

Amethyst glanced up to meet the unwavering emerald. The two sets of eyes locked into one another. Neither of them wanted to neither break their gaze, nor flicker away to hide the tears that threatened to escape both of them. It was ironic, really, that when Tsuzuki was the one to admit to love and think he was being rejected to it, yet at the same time, Hisoka was in just as much pain from seeing his client in pain, as well as not understand the confusing emotions swirling in his chest, causing it to compress. Hisoka looked away first, breaking the stirring contact.

"I care so much for you, Tsuzuki… and at the same time, I'm not sure what I should do. I have never felt like this before and… it is hard to know whether it is the same emotion in which you relay to me. Empathy isn't always as accurate as they say, or as understandable," Hisoka admitted, his sandy hair hiding the furious blush that was beginning to stain his cheeks. "But… I think with all I have done… I think… that I feel… the same way to you as you do to me… That is what I feel… That is why I'm staying. I _want _to feel like this, Tsuzuki."

Tsuzuki's mouth opened at his guardian's words and he froze, not moving for a moment. It took Hisoka another moment to gain the courage to look at his client, his emerald eyes already spilling their spring reserves, not with grief, but more with a foreign happiness at realization. When Tsuzuki did not move, Hisoka closed the space between them and sat down next to his client, hesitantly wrapping his arms around the elder man's shoulders and burying his face into that broad chest.

It took Tsuzuki a few seconds to realize that his guardian was no longer in front of him, but hugging him, his wings gently brushing against his own back as they were arched forward, wrapping themselves around his waist and lower back. Then, he felt something press up against his mouth, something soft and relatively cool, yet it seemed warm, too. He realized then that it was Hisoka and that Hisoka was… kissing him. His guardian was _kissing_ him.

Tsuzuki's eyes fluttered closed at the contact and his arms came up to encircle the boy around the waist, tilting his head to the right angle as he licked at those small lips, asking and maybe even begging for an intrusion into that small cavern. The younger did so obligingly and Tsuzuki thrust his tongue inside, moaning inaudibly as he tasted the sweetness that was everything Hisoka was. The sensation was incredible.

Before Hisoka knew it, he was on the bed, pinned to the wall next to it, his tongue doing a furious dance with Tsuzuki's own as his hands began to roam everywhere on their own accord, wanting to touch everything. This feeling was something he had only felt today, yet Hisoka felt as though he had known if for a lifetime. He could not imagine living without the warm feeling that consumed his soul and made it beg for more. Moreover, he wanted more of what that feeling could give him.

He broke the kiss and barely had any time to say anything before he felt Tsuzuki's mouth trailing down his neck. He shuddered at the contact as he felt the tongue that he had just danced with do its own thing up and down his neck, on one side, then the other.

Tsuzuki's tongue suddenly stopped, retracted, making Hisoka whine in distress for the loss. Tsuzuki now talked against the crook of his neck. "What do you want, Hisoka?"

Hisoka didn't have to think, although his mind shouted many things he wanted. Everything, some of it, a little of it, most of it, none of it, yet it was so hard to make one decision when all sides of him wanted something to do with this. He did not want to think. He didn't even have to think, so he told his mind to shut up and whispered into Tsuzuki's ear, "I want anything. Anything you can give me... please..."

Amethyst eyes looked at Hisoka's defiant, but equally frightened face. This fright was something he had seen before; back when Tsuzuki had found out his secret of being an angel, back when Hisoka took him out of that club to seek his salvation in him instead, how Hisoka had risked his own afterlife just to make sure he was okay. All those times, he had seen a fright on Hisoka's face that meant he was scared _for _him, but not _of_ him. It was that same fright now.

"Are you sure?" Tsuzuki asked.

Hisoka, biting his lip, nodded to him. "I don't care what happened to me years ago. It doesn't matter. I'm here now."

Tsuzuki nodded back in complete understanding. "If you want to stop, just tell me, okay?" He kissed him again.

Hisoka closed his eyes. _'I won't stop this... I promise...'_

-X-

It stirred deep within him, a black core that had its relinquish years before, yet now it seemed as if that were irrelevant compared to thoughts leaking out of shields were doing now. An emotion of rage was building itself up inside of itself in a way that no human or angel could describe. Angels and humans meant nothing to this blackness, a deep abyss under a precipice that was just waiting for a new victim to fall into, to swallow without a sound escaping. It had to wait. It had to wait for the right time. That time was not now.

-X-

_"My Lord, we have a situation." _

"What is it, Annah?"

_"It involves Kurosaki Hisoka and his client, Tsuzuki Asato." _

"Explain, Annah."

The angel did so. Rough silence passed afterwards and within minutes, disbelief counteracted with rage and every angel in the universe felt it, shivered with it, feared it... every angel _except_ Kurosaki Hisoka.


	12. Our Sin

Recommended listening: _Nearer My God to Thee_ from **Titanic**

My Angel

Chapter 12

Amethyst gazed into the emerald as both owners of the eyes panted, their bodies covered in a light sheet of sweat and their breathing uneven. Tentatively, Tsuzuki reached out a hand and stroked Hisoka's cheek. "Daijoubu ka?"

Hisoka nodded a little, relaxing against the bed. God, he had never felt so good... tired, but good. He closed his eyes again, relaxing as Tsuzuki lay down next to him. Silence entered the room and Tsuzuki wrapped his arms around Hisoka from behind, putting his face into the mop of ashen blonde hair. That's when it happened.

The snow outside forgot to fall, but the wind picked itself up, stronger than anything humanely possible. Hisoka's breath hitched at the sudden change in time and power and his eyelids shot back, revealing his wide, fearful eyes as looked to Tsuzuki, who looked back with just as much shock, but also confusion as to why the angel was suddenly shaking against him.

A light shone above them and suddenly, the two males were separated, Tsuzuki thrown back against the bed and Hisoka thrown away from it in the middle of the room. The sheet came up to cover up Hisoka from the chest down and the blanket came back to cover up Tsuzuki as well. The light shone brighter and filled the room, chasing away every shadow, as if purifying everything that had transpired in the last few hours.

"**Kurosaki Hisoka!"**

The said boy on the floor began to shake as realization smacked him hard in the face. Tsuzuki looked around to try to find where the voice had come from. Then it knocked into him. The voice was from the light. As to where the light was coming from, it was most likely anyone's guess, but Tsuzuki and Hisoka both knew: It was coming straight from Heaven.

"**Kurosaki Hisoka, you have committed a vile act in the eyes of Heaven**," the voice boomed, rumbling in both males' chests and hitting their hearts. **"Now your passage back home shall not be permitted. Your wings shall be stripped of your dirty body and cast away to dust in the strong wind."**

Hisoka shook violently as the words hit his core. He was scared. Really scared. Tsuzuki understood immediately what they had done wrong and knew he could not see his friend be punished for something he knew he couldn't stop. It was going to happen, at Tsuzuki's fault, and Hisoka should not be punished for this.

"God, don't punish Hisoka for this!" he shouted to the light, clambering off the bed and wrapping the sheet around his body from the waist down, stepping forward to stand next to his fallen partner. He could feel the startled and frightened green eyes looking at him in utter disbelief. Tsuzuki shook it away and tried to reason with the heavenly-being shielded in the light from Heaven.

"God, it isn't Hisoka's fault," he said quietly, but loud enough to hear. "It's mine. I practically forced him to do something that was from the depths of _my_ feelings and—"

"Shut up, Tsuzuki!" Hisoka shouted, still holding himself as his wings unfurled behind him painfully, stretching up into the air, preparing to be taken by a strong inhuman hand. He cringed a bit. "It wasn't your fault, it was mine! I had the power to stop it and I didn't… I'm the one who has to be punished."

Tsuzuki shook his head again. "No, Hisoka, it's me. I'm not going to sit by and watch you take the force of punishment you don't deserve."

He turned back to the light, squinting slightly before his purple eyes adjusted. He let out a small, careful sigh and decided to continue. "I'm sorry, but I can't sit by and watch him get hurt like this. Does he really deserve this after all he's already been through? After what his past has been like?"

"**You know what his past has been like,"** the god asked, more as a statement than a question, even though he knew it was true before Tsuzuki answered. The amethyst-eyed man nodded his head again while Hisoka looked down, murmuring apologies to the god above him in a different language, most likely Latin or Greek.

"It's ok, Hisoka," Tsuzuki reassured him again from where he was before he turned back to the light shielded God. "Please, Kami, punish me, not him. He doesn't deserve it."

"**Silence!"** The god commanded with a slightly angered tone. **"Sodomy is against My law, therefore he will be punished."**

"No!" Tsuzuki protested with a bit of anger in his tone as well. "I won't let you do this! He doesn't deserve it! I won't stand here while you accuse him of something that's not his fault! And since when is loving someone wrong!?"

"**Sodomites such as you beget nothing,"** God stated, his anger more noticeable now and his voice level rising. **"It matters not if he loves you or someone else. However, sodomy is against My rule and Kurosaki Hisoka has violated that sacred law by bedding with you!"**

"Bullshit!" Tsuzuki yelled back.

Hisoka could only watch as he saw this man, the man who had taken him in, the man who had cared for him, the man who had made love to him, stood against the most powerful being in the universe… all for his sake. All for him, just to get him out of being punished. Hisoka felt numb, but he also felt warm, which was an odd combination. He was numb because he knew they were both going to be severely punished in one way or another, but the warm feeling was the realization that this man was trying to help him to the best of his ability, even to go as far to take upon the punishment himself, just to see him unharmed.

"He hasn't violated any law!" Tsuzuki continued to shout, his amethyst eyes glaring in anger, even though he knew mentally he should not be giving off such an emotion, much less displaying it. "You put people on the earth to love one another!"

Hisoka blinked as he watched his friend stand up straighter, defiance written on his face.

"You gave us these feelings!" Tsuzuki accused, knowing it was true. "If sodomy was against your law, why did you let us feel this way?!"

Hisoka watched as the words began to sink in. Why _did _they feel like this if God didn't want them to? Why were these feelings given to them, only to be accused of later as forbidden love and against all religious law?

"Tell us why!" Tsuzuki demanded to the light, his hands clenching into fists.

Hisoka looked at Tsuzuki, then back at the light, which did not respond to the demand. An uncomfortable silence settled in, threatening to consume them, choke them and hurl them into a sea of nothingness, drown them until their souls could no longer breathe and erase them from existence itself.

"**Kurosaki Hisoka,"** the voice said, more quietly now.

Hisoka looked up in answer, his voice box long gone by now. He could sense the amethyst eyes of Tsuzuki on him, switching from him to the light, following every word and every gesture given.

"**Were you happy when this happened?"** God asked.

"Was I…?" Hisoka thought about it for a minute. He remembered the way he had been reassured with warm emotions and gentle caresses, how careful the elder had been with him to make sure he was all right, stopping when he did not want him to just to make sure he wanted to keep going. He had given him a choice to do it, not being demanding or forceful, but just there, waiting patiently.

Hisoka looked back up at God and nodded his head. "Yes, I was."

"**Why?"** asked the being, a little bit harshly.

Hisoka bit his lip, hesitating for a moment. Then, he let out a shaky breath and answered, "Because I was given a choice." He looked at Tsuzuki. "He gave me a choice to be loved or to back out and let the relationship unfold, or even alternatively, not to have a relationship at all. He let me choose for myself without thinking of what he wanted. We both had never really been loved in that way before… but even if it was against Your law, I wanted it. I wanted to know how it felt to be loved by someone, to be cared by someone. My heart felt like it needed it."

Tsuzuki sent a smile at Hisoka, his amethyst eyes softening in the golden light, the light also sending streaks of gold over his chestnut hair.

"**I see," **God then said. Hisoka caught his breath, ready for the punishment he knew he would endure. However, it never came. Instead, God continued.

"**I will hold you, Kurosaki Hisoka, on a trial deciding what punishment you are to endure. You will leave here soon with me to ascend back to your home for the time being. After the trial has been complete and any punishment accepted, you may return to tell your client of the situation. Am I understood?"**

Hisoka looked down and nodded. "Yes."

"**You have ten minutes."**

"Yes. Thank you."

The light faded off into nothing and Hisoka found he was able to breathe again. Tsuzuki walked over to him and knelt beside him, putting a comforting arm around his shoulders. Hisoka leaned against the older man, closing his eyes for a moment before they opened again, glimmering with a foreign strength Tsuzuki had never seen before in the boy's eyes.

"I'm sorry, Hisoka," Tsuzuki apologized. He hadn't meant for this to happen, any of this. Now the boy had to be punished for something that wasn't his fault.

Tsuzuki felt lips press themselves on his forehead and he looked up to meet the green eyes of the younger, the angel whose gaze locked itself with power he never knew of before. Moreover, instead of mourning, Hisoka was standing up as he attempted a small smile, reaching behind his neck, unclasping his silver necklace, the cross falling down the chain a few inches.

"There's nothing to be sorry for, Tsuzuki," the boy said calmly as he held out his necklace. "Here. I want you to have this."

He placed the cross into the amethyst-eyed man's hands, but Tsuzuki shook his head. "It's yours."

"Not anymore, it's not," Hisoka retorted. "I'm giving it to you, Tsuzuki."

Swirling amethyst brought itself up to meet the alluring emerald and for a moment, nothing happened. Time seemed to flow again in an instant as Hisoka sighed. "I'm giving it to you to trust itself under your protection while I'm on my leave. It will protect you while I am gone. Keep it with you at all times, Tsuzuki."

The elder nodded, understand as he gripped the necklace tightly in his hand, holding it close to his chest. Smiling slightly, Hisoka unfurled those strong fingers and took the necklace out, reaching up on his toes to place it around Tsuzuki's neck. He drew back a second later, marveling as the pendant hung itself over his chest, right over Tsuzuki's heart.

"Now you have the light of Heaven shielding your soul. No one can harm you now."

"Hisoka… thank you."

The angel nodded before standing up on his toes, wrapping his arms around the elder's shoulders, putting his face into that broad chest, listening to the heartbeat, hoping against hope it was not the last thing he would ever hear come from his client, spoken or unspoken.

A light began to shine again and Hisoka drew back, his form now covered in a white robe tied with his golden sash. Unfurling the two perfected wings, the boy began to rise up. Although he smiled, Tsuzuki could see he was full of sadness by what was now to be done. The angel rose in hand in a gesture of goodbye for now before both he—and the light—vanished.

Tsuzuki stared up at his plain ceiling for a long time before he found strength in his legs to move to the bathroom. He gazed at his reflection in the mirror, one of his hands coming up to finger the pendant, which glowed a soft golden color in the small light of the powder room. Smiling to himself, Tsuzuki turned the shower tap on and set it to warm before climbing behind the curtain.

He reached for his soap, but then caught the eye of the essence Hisoka used. He remembered Hisoka telling him it was okay to use what he did, because it was just like using the same soap that he originally had. Smiling to himself once more, Tsuzuki took the small bottle and began to wash himself down. He hoped Hisoka would get back as soon as possible.

A dull ache had already set itself into his chest, despite the warmth from the cross and he realized he missed the angel dearly. If only God was more merciful than he already was, then perhaps Tsuzuki would be happy at this point. And maybe… Hisoka would be as well.


	13. My Heart, Your Heart

Recommended listening: _Hymn to the Sea _composed by **James Horner**

My Angel

Chapter 13

Hisoka blinked as he found himself walking the familiar path towards the golden palace of God in his golden-laced shoes always bestowed on his feet whenever he reached the gateway into heaven. Hisoka sighed as he found that he happened to be walking past the same trees with golden fruit, the trees that never aged nor died, and the fruit that never perished. No one seemed to be out at this time and Hisoka hung his head slightly, realizing it must have been because of what he had done with his client. On trial in the palace of God, every angel and being in Heaven was to attend, either being on jury, behind the witness chair, or out in the halls, waiting for the judgment to be sounded throughout the universe for everyone to hear.

"Hey, Hisoka!"

The angel snapped out of his thoughts, bringing his head up at the voice and turned suddenly, watching as a familiar angel approached him from behind one of the many trees along the pathway. The angel was only five or so inches taller than he was, sleek black hair tied in a ponytail that fell down to almost his waist, glittering purple eyes that immediately reminded Hisoka of his client, Tsuzuki. He wore a similar outfit; only his sash was a swirl of black and silver with sparkling golden dust hanging around the edges.

"Diego, why are you out here?" Hisoka asked curiously.

"I was going to ask you the same thing," was the response from the elder angel as he stopped a few feet in front of the boy. "What are you doing back? You're way too early."

Hisoka looked down and away from the gaze, his bangs hiding his now frail eyes that glimmered once more in tears he knew he could not let himself shed. "I… broke a law of God."

"You what?" asked Diego, disbelief evident in his voice.

Hisoka bit his lip. He could not say any more than he had said. A few minutes passed before he felt a hand on his shoulder, causing him to look up into those purple eyes that mirrored his own sadness. "I think I know what's going on, Hisoka. Here, come with me for a minute."

Hisoka followed his long time friend along the path, welcoming the touch on his shoulder that projected comfort for him as they soon reached a meadow enriched endless hills of luscious green grass that never died and trees surrounding with flowers that endlessly bloomed, sakura trees that never ran out of their pink petals.

Leading the boy to the top of one of the higher hills, Diego stopped at a Japanese maple tree, a canvas hanging with a single silver string holding it up with no effort. Hisoka's eyes widened. "Masaka... You finished it!"

"I did." Diego smiled as he gestured to his perfect oil canvas painting of Heaven itself, each stroke careful that captured the firmest of places, the hardest of curves. Although no painting could compare the beauty, only Diego's came close to seeing the real universe come alive.

Hisoka reached over and with a gentle hand, he stroked the canvas, flitting over the paint, touching, but with no real touch behind it. "It's incredible."

"For taking a decade, I'd like to think so," Diego replied with a smile on his face before it fell and his eyes took on sharpness, narrowing in sincerity. "I want to teach you something, Hisoka. That's why I brought you here."

Emerald glanced up from the glorious painting, the owner of such deep eyes showing that he was listening to what the other had to say. Diego took a deep breath before saying, "Everyone has an opinion, whether it is on a good stand or a bad one. It's not what is told that is right, it's what is right that some can see superior than others."

Hisoka glanced at the painting before looking back at the Angel of Life. "I don't understand."

Diego smiled again, a smile that came close to Tsuzuki's own, but Hisoka shook those thoughts away as Diego put a hand on the younger's shoulder again. "It's like my painting, Hisoka. Many would say that it is wonderful, flawless, the best thing ever done in history, but no. It is not perfect. Most cannot see the flaws bent into the oils as they ballet across the canvas in a dance composed by the artist's brush."

"But that's not what makes the color beautiful," Hisoka interjected as he gazed to the painting hung upon the tree. "Many think that it's only that artist's brush that makes it beautiful, but it's really only the light from the soul that can bring out the magnificence within them. Right?"

Diego nodded. "That's right. Few can see the flaws. It is just like the rules here and down in other worlds. Every rule has a flaw within them, even the ones set by the most powerful being in the universe. We've all broken one of God's laws."

"Even you?" Hisoka looked up at the older angel in astonishment.

Diego nodded again, his black hair falling out of its ponytail, the ribbon casting itself into dust as the wind picked up around them, blowing the endless trail of sakura petals and leaves behind them. "Even I. I still think, in fact, I'm breaking that law now."

"What do you mean?" asked Hisoka.

Diego smiled sadly and fixed Hisoka with a soft gaze. "I commit sodomy almost as bad as you did."

"When was that?" Hisoka stared deep into Diego's eyes, looking for the hidden truth there. Diego let out a sound between a sigh and a laugh.

"Present tense, Hisoka, present tense. It's now… it wasn't direct, but it was to _you_."

Hisoka took a step back, away from his friend whom he was now both curious and a bit scared about. Diego also took a step back to allow the distance. He fixed Hisoka with a smile that told him no harm would come, nor any infliction of pain, whether it would be physical, emotional, or mental.

"But I didn't pursue it," Diego said.

"You… felt that way towards me?" Hisoka asked in disbelief. He couldn't believe that someone who loved him the same way Tsuzuki did had done so for so long, yet it was never clear to him before. Diego nodded once more, but smiled sadly at the younger.

"I knew that if I did, I'd go through a punishment far worse than what you would ever get on your trial."

"What would that be?"

"I cannot say exactly. But I promised myself I would refrain from pursuing you, for both your sake as well as my own. I do love you, Kurosaki Hisoka, but I can only be near you."

"Why didn't you tell me this?" Hisoka demanded. "You knew I was miserable and you kept this from me. Why?"

"I didn't want to hurt you," Diego answered desolately. "After what you had been through… I realized that I could only be close to you. If you will allow me, it's more than enough."

Hisoka bit his lip and a silence ensued in the moment. This angel whom he had known throughout his life in heaven was now expressing a love for him in the same way Tsuzuki had done just hours before, the same love that now kept the two separated, the same love that was deep within both of their cores. And…

It hurt. It truly did hurt Hisoka. He had thought the small comforting touches were because Diego pitied him or expressing a friendship gesture, but deep within the Angel of Life, deep in his soul, he loved the boy whom had been his friend all these years. It was hard to believe and Diego looking similar to Tsuzuki did not help Hisoka's situation at all, especially now.

Seeing Hisoka's stricken face, Diego sighed and shook his head. "It's all right if you don't trust me now."

Hisoka looked up at the angel before glancing back at the canvas, mulling over the lesson Diego had just set forth in his mind, trying to find the hidden meaning behind the lesson, find the real reason in which this lesson was given to him. After a moment, Hisoka sighed, closing his eyes. "I… I still do trust you, Diego. And I appreciate that you didn't want to hurt me. And I can see why you kept this from me, so… thank you."

Diego smiled as Hisoka's eyelids slid back, revealing the grateful green eyes. "But I don't like it when you keep things from me. In the future… can you tell me what you're hiding? I don't want to do something that will hurt you to find out you hid true feelings because of it, all right?"

Diego nodded and took a step, kneeling down to Hisoka's eye level. The younger angel reached over and hugged the Angel of Life tightly, his wings flexing off to the side as the older embraced him in return. For a moment, that's all they did, hug each other as friends would to comfort friends, as family members would comfort their relatives. But now, they were just close friends.

Diego broke the embrace and put a hand on Hisoka's shoulder, looking into those innocent, alluring eyes that promised a long friendship should the trial be merciful on him. Diego glanced behind his shoulder to watch as a few other angels of the kingdom flew overhead, heading towards the golden palace where a trumpet sounded, its notes perfectly strung together, an eternal melody that had no end even when the sound faded. Hisoka looked down at the sound, biting his lip again.

Diego looked back to his young friend and placed a hand under his chin, forcing him to look up. Diego stared into those eyes again before he let out a long sigh. "Listen to me Hisoka. Whatever happens on trial, whatever happens to you, bear in mind that this can be changed. When you are up on that stand, you will tell both truth and judgment that everyone in that room will gap at."

Hisoka attempted a small laugh, but at the same time a tear rolled down his cheek. Diego continued. "You will shock everyone in that room to their second death with your answers. We know how strong you are,_ I_ know how much strength you carry. Just say the truth and you will win."

"You'll be there, right Diego?" Hisoka asked hopefully, a foreign light shining in his eyes, a light which held more strength tan any angel could hold within them.

The Angel of Life nodded. "I will be there with you. I am defending you on part of both friendship and duty. You are my client on trial. You know my ways, right?"

Hisoka nodded before looking down as they made their way towards the palace of pure gold, power suddenly fading within him. "Thank you Diego."

"You're welcome, Hisoka. I feel this is one trial that will be its first in an eon."

Green eyes looked up at glittering amethyst before Hisoka nodded, eyes setting themselves into stone as they gazed at the golden palace. This was going to be one _hell _of a trial.


	14. Trial, Part One

**A/N: **I've had a question about my recommended listening once or twice. It's not that the lyrics match the characters, but more so the feel or emotion the song gives off. For sad scenes, I need music that's slow or melancholy and for fight scenes, I need fast paced music. Make sense? So that's why the recommended listening may not match up lyric-wise, for those others out there who wonder. Also, the recommended listening can come from what I listen to when I write the chapter, but that's rare.

On with the fic!

Recommended listening: _Breathe no More _by **Evanescence**

My Angel

Chapter 14

The courtroom was just like one on earth, but there was one major difference. This was not any case on earth. This was one of higher hierarchy and the punishments were more severe. Even the God who had made all and loved everything, even loved the sinners, He still had to judge them if they were to roam in His heavenly home. It seemed that the whole population of His home was there, fitting into that one single courtroom that was painted in pure gold, the design just like one on earth with the benches and the witness stand, as well as the jury seats. Because this was the act of defiling His rules, He would be the one to judge in the trial, but this time, he decided upon selecting a judge in this court trial.

Angels flooded into the room, taking seats in the far back first in class order, having the highest or most powerful to be seated at the front whilst the new angels sat in the back where they were, looking upon the empty witness stand the empty chairs that would seat the defendant, or in heaven's case… the sinner.

Green eyes hid behind sandy bangs as the owner walked down the short aisle, not daring to look up to meet the disgusted or surprised looks of the angelic population as his steps sounded around him, each one like a large drum pounding in his ear. He could hear the murmurs and listen to the shocked thoughts as they flowed from other angels and into his head.

"Isn't that Hisoka?"

"Wasn't he the one who—?"

"Shh! Father said not to mention it!"

"But him of all people..."

Hisoka tried to keep to himself as he heard the comments, both verbally and nonverbally and he sat down at a small table, folding his wings to curve into his back. Already, they felt heavier, but his heart seemed to be at its limit. It was beating quickly, too quickly. He knew he was nervous and afraid, but it did not show on his face. His heart felt like its strings were going to snap, letting the already fragile, emotion-filled spiritual orb fall and shatter on the cold, tile ground. It ached.

He felt a shift next to him and risked a glance up. Dark black hair flew over the purple eyes regarding him with concern. In reply to the silent question, he merely nodded, taking in a deep breath as he eyed the witness stand. In just a few moments, he would be called up and tell all of Heaven what he had done, down to the last detail. Hisoka wasn't sure if he could do it. He felt a hand on his shoulder and glanced at Diego again.

His friend nodded behind him and Hisoka risked looking that way. His breath hitched in his throat as a pit of despair formed in his stomach. _'Oh, no...'_

Long brown hair and icy brown eyes glanced back at him, a smirk tracing thin lips, the angel owning them sitting at the other table across the room. His wings behind him shone a deep navy blue and his eyes seemed to get colder. He was, quite obviously, the opposing attorney. Hisoka knew this angel and sometimes, he wished he didn't. The angel's name was Velken. This angel had to be one of the most stubborn, arrogant, but most calculating of all of them. His smarts weren't favored for nothing.

Hisoka bit his lip and looked back to Diego, who caught the look in his eyes. Before the black-haired angel could say a word, a guard came through and rang out in a deep voice, "Please stand for the honorable judge Kira Tsukiori."

Simultaneously, everyone in the room stood, heads bowed, as a door to the far left of the room swung open, revealing a girl, no older than nineteen, walking out. She had shoulder length blonde colored hair, her eyes were a deep blue, and she wore a long black robe that hit only just above the floor. She nodded in reply to the angels in the room and walked to her seat, overlooking the room. In a soft, but equally strong voice, she spoke only four words. "You may be seated."

Hisoka sat down with Diego once more and faced ahead. He knew the judge. She was Kira, one of God's right-hand angels. She was an exorcist of demons, but more than that, she was one of Hisoka's few friends. She was kind to him and always seemed to find him when Diego could not. Which was rare, for one thing, but that didn't dismiss the fact that she was smart. Sometimes Hisoka wondered if she had some empathy of her own. Kira looked up at him, nodded once before turning to show attention to the court.

"Please call up the defendant," she said after a moment of silence.

Diego turned to Hisoka and nodded once, giving the teen the tiniest bit of nonverbal pushing to get him up and walk to the stand. The angel was stopped by the guard from earlier, holding out the real version of the Bible, written in stone and in Hebrew. "Do you swear to tell all the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth or so help you, God?"

Hisoka hesitated once, glancing back at Diego. The purple eyes gave him the answer. Hisoka turned front again. "I do."

"You may be seated." The guard took away the tablets into another room. Hisoka blinked once at the chair. It had three legs. There was no way it would support his weight. Taking a deep breath, knowing it was a challenge for him, he sat in it. He was surprised that it did not wobble in the slightest. He had balance. He took in another deep breath. Silently. His nerves were already jumpy and his heart felt heavier.

Kira looked at him for a moment expressionlessly before turning back to her pad in front of her. "You may begin questioning."

Diego stood up, looking at a piece of paper in hand before setting it down and walking up to the stand. He thought for a moment before he nodded once. "Hisoka, you were raised in a wealthy family, correct?"

Hisoka nodded, already knowing what Diego's strategy was. Build up a background check and use that to win the case. It was fairly easy. "Hai. The Kurosaki lineage traced back to the Kamakura Shogunate. I was the 17th head of the family."

"How were you treated in this family?"

Hisoka took a deep breath, probably one of the many times from before the trial even began. He felt small with all the eyes in the courtroom staring at him. "Horribly."

"Can you explain?"

Hisoka nodded gravely. "My parents didn't approve of my empathy. They found out when I was four, after I asked why my mother was sad. I had been small at the time, so I didn't know what it meant to be able to feel emotions around me."

"What did they do to you?"

"They locked me in a cell for nine years. I was hardly fed and whenever my father felt like it, he came to me in my cell and whipped me. He said he was trying to exorcise the demon within me. That's what they referred my empathy to."

"Hisoka, how old are you?"

"Thirty-six, mentally."

"How old were you when you died?"

"Sixteen."

"How did you die?"

Hisoka hesitated. For some reason, he found this easier to say since he had already told Tsuzuki. What in the world was Diego doing? He knew he was trying to build up a sensitive background so the jury would agree with his case, but... "I was raped. Then cursed. It took three years for me to die by it."

A few startled gasps murmured throughout the room. Hisoka looked down at his hands in his lap. He felt so inferior now; he wished Diego would just take him out of there. Diego caught Hisoka's movement and shook his head. In a soft voice, he whispered, "No more questions."

Hisoka looked up through his hair and caught Diego's comforting look. It wasn't as strong as Tsuzuki's, however, and that's the look he needed now. But Diego was his friend and he appreciated it just as much.

-X-

Tsuzuki shuddered as a pain tore through his heart. He instinctively looked up at the sky through his bedroom window as he lay on the clean bed. In the past few hours, he had washed the sheets while taking a shower and now he lay with hair slightly damp and his body clad in black pajamas, his amethyst eyes staring out at the night sky. The moon was shining and the weather had let up.

Tsuzuki frowned as he sat up, a hand reaching up to grip his chest as he closed his eyes. His cross pendant was radiating some form of energy, a sad kind of energy. The aura was green. Tsuzuki felt its coldness seep through his shirt and opened his eyes, taking the cross and putting it inside his hands. _'Hisoka... be strong. Be safe.'_

-X-

Velken stood up, sending a smirk to Diego, as if he had planned for his move. Diego stared expressionlessly back, not wanting the other angel to feel satisfaction of already getting to him. Velken walked up to the stand, staring down at Hisoka for a moment. The teen raised his head and little and tried to stare emotionlessly back. His icy barrier had cracked since Tsuzuki had found him and now it seemed hard to hold up his gaze.

Velken frowned, obviously displeased with his stare. "Kurosaki-kun, you say you were raped and cursed at thirteen, is that correct?"

Hisoka nodded mutely. He felt strange emotions radiating off Velken now. Where was this going...?

"Who was your rapist?"

Diego stood up. "Objection. Relevancy?"

Kira looked to Velken, who merely shook his head. "The background check is necessary to draw the conclusion needed to find out the true meaning of Kurosaki's act."

Kira frowned, obviously disagreeing with Velken, but sighed. "Overruled. Answer the question."

Hisoka found his eyes beginning to glare. "Kazutaka Muraki."

"You said in your earlier statement that your parents locked you in a cell for nine years, correct?"

Hisoka nodded. Velken frowned, deeper than before. "What made them take you out?"

Hisoka shook his head. "They didn't. I snuck out. The basement was hot that night and I couldn't breathe. I went out the small window."

"Why didn't you do that earlier in your life?"

Hisoka saw Diego about to make an objection and his green eyes narrowed. "I had never thought about it before."

Diego sent Hisoka a strange looked from behind Velken's back. Hisoka tried hard to ignore it. These questions were getting to him already and they weren't even to his case yet.

"Hisoka, you had never had sex before, have you? At least voluntarily?"

Hisoka shook his head. "No. I didn't even know what it was."

"Then aren't you saying that what you did with Tsuzuki Asato was something you had no control over?"

Hisoka found himself glaring. "I never said that. I said I didn't know from before I died."

"But you know now?"

"Yes."

"And you did it voluntarily?"

Hisoka hesitated again, looking to Kira and Diego before he realized that they couldn't help him get out of this. He put his head down. "...yes."

Velken seemed to consider it for a moment. Hisoka found his heart beginning to beat faster. By the strange emotions he could feel, he knew that this was only going to get worse. He bit his lip and waited for what seemed like hours, hours that had no beginning or end or limit to their instance. Velken finally turned back around. "How many clients have you had, Kurosaki-kun, as part of your guardianship duties?"

Hisoka put his head up, a weird look on his face. Velken was sinking that low... _'Oh, God.'_ Hisoka's hands twitched for a moment. "Not many. Three or four in the past few years."

"Did you ever have sex with any of them?"

Hisoka found himself glaring, green eyes intense as his wings pulsed in some anger. Velken was trying to call him a whore, in the middle of a courtroom, no less! How dare he even think...? Diego stood up, eyes also intense, but he knew he couldn't say anything to object to. Velken had the high ground.

Hisoka was honest. "No, I didn't."

"So what makes Tsuzuki Asato any different than all the others, Kurosaki?"

Diego glared. "Objection!"

"He shouldn't be, especially by status, now should he?" Velken continued, ignoring him. "Considering his secret?"

Hisoka felt his eyes beginning to burn. Velken was getting to him. He was trying to twist his thinking. No. He couldn't let that happen. Not now, not when he had finally found something he had always longed to have. He put his head down.

Diego's hands fisted. "Objection!"

Kira turned to Velken. "Sustained."

"Tell us how Tsuzuki is different from those clients," Velken re-stated his question for the third time.

"Objection! Badgering the witness!" Diego said loudly.

Kira held up her hand. "Sustained, Velken! You will be seated or be thrown out of the courtroom."

Velken smirked and walked back to his seat. "No more questioning."

Diego looked to Hisoka. The boy's wings had drooped somewhat and their color was no longer a burning red. It was a depressing grey. The thing about empathic angels was that their wings changed color depending on their emotions. Diego sighed, closing his eyes. "Your Honor, may I request a recess?"

Kira nodded, banging her gavel. "One hour recess."

Diego nodded and walked up to the stand, placing a hand on Hisoka's shoulder. The teen looked up through hazy eyes and Diego bit his lip, his hold on the small shoulder tightening a little. It took a few minutes for Diego to coax Hisoka off the chair and walk out of the courtroom to a secluded break room at the far end of the crowded hall. Once there, Diego led Hisoka to a seat and closed the door.

Hisoka let out a shaky sigh and put his head on his hands, elbows set on the table. He wasn't crying, but his shoulders were shaking. Diego frowned and walked over, setting his hands on the empath's shoulders, offering silent support. Hisoka took in a shaky breath. "It's so unfair..."

Diego tilted his head slightly. "What is?" he asked softly.

Hisoka finally looked up at him through his ashen blonde bangs. "Velken called me a whore. He thinks I'm so needy that I'd just fling myself at anybody."

Diego frowned. "You love Tsuzuki. Velken doesn't understand that because he doesn't know you."

"Why does he hate me so much?" Hisoka asked, putting his clenched hands to his forehead, closing his eyes. He then found the irony in his question and sighed. "I don't even think that question has an answer. I often asked myself that with my parents. Like they gave me an answer..."

"Hisoka... look at me."

Hisoka did. He looked into the purple eyes, the twined purple eyes of his client and the twined purple eyes of his friend. His breath hitched a little before he let it out. Slowly.

Diego continued to frown, but he put a hand on top of Hisoka's head. "What your parents did was wrong. What Velken is trying to do is wrong. What you did with Tsuzuki... wasn't wrong." Hisoka just looked at him as the older angel went on. "I know this is hard for you, because you've never been under this kind of pressure before, but I think that you can always find a way out, even if Velken tries to twist your thinking to get you to feel guilty. Understand?"

Hisoka nodded mutely. Diego smiled before he stood up, holding out his hand. "You're probably hungry."

Hisoka looked up at his friend for a moment before he took the offered hand. Despite how Diego felt and despite his feelings for his friend, his heart was and always would be with Tsuzuki. Hisoka followed Diego out. He was hungry and he knew he needed to strength. His eyes narrowed. Velken wasn't going to get to him. Not in this life, not in death, not ever.

* * *

_(1) Objection: The attorney is opposing a question in thinking that it has no relevancy to the case or it is out of line._

_(2) Sustained: This is where the judge agrees with the objection and that tells the attorney who's asking questions that he won't get an answer._

_(3) Overruled: This is where the judge does not agree with the objection and tells the attorney who objected to sit down and be quiet while the defendant must give an answer._


	15. Intervention

Recommended listening: _White Dove_ by **Sakamoto Ma'aya**

My Angel

Chapter 15

Hisoka walked behind Diego as they strode in silence to a small hut. It was Diego's place. Hisoka had been there many times before, enjoying Diego's company and his cooking. The hut was small, a thatched wooden roof lining across the top of the wooden structure with old-fashioned window frames back from just after the Elizabethan era. The windows were stained glasses designed with multitudes of colors, various shapes that shone inside when the sun overhead hit it just right. Dragonflies, birds, foxes, lions, all creatures that were made by the one God danced across the wooden golden-brown floor as Hisoka walked inside.

Hisoka let a faint smile trace his lips. The polished floor was the same as ever, shining golden brown against the sunlight that hit it through the clear pieces of the stained multi-colored glass where the shapes almost seemed to move against it, as if welcoming him. The kitchen was green granite with oak cabinets dotting one wall. Already, Diego was in there, setting up a few pots and taking out some things he had made himself from the natural resources of the Heaven.

Hisoka padded quietly into the kitchen. "What are you making?" he asked, his voice opening the offer of help should it be needed. After all, Diego was doing more for him than he could ever repay him for.

Diego turned around and gave Hisoka a small smile. "Chicken and sliced burdock root over noodles." (1)

Hisoka managed a small lift of his own lips. Diego truly was his friend. He had known what Hisoka had craved ever since he had left. "Sounds great," he exclaimed, his voice still its monotone, but having a small tint of happiness in it.

"You can go sit down and I'll get this ready," Diego said, giving Hisoka a light push out of the kitchen. Shrugging, the ashen blonde teen walked over and settled by the window, sitting on the sill as he gently flicked the lock open, pushing out the glass and erasing the figure of a panda on the wooden floor. The emerald eyes gazed out across the heavenly land, taking in the way the wind blew through branches of even the thickest trees.

"What are you thinking about?" he heard Diego ask from the kitchen. Hisoka tore his gaze from the outside heaven and glanced towards the kitchen. Diego was leaning against the counter, looking at him, hands gripping the counter's edge. Hisoka frowned for a moment before he looked back out again. "The wind."

"Doshite?"

Hisoka shrugged. "It reminds me of a lot of things. Things you can't see, but you feel them and know they're there."

"Like guardian spirits?" Diego supplied as he turned to stir the sauce in the pan on the stove.

Hisoka nodded, letting out a calm breath. "Aa. We're there, but mortals can't see us. Most of the time, they can't feel us, but for those select few, we're like wind itself. Except when it's necessary to show ourselves to our client; then we're just like them, but somehow... inhuman."

Diego brought the noodles up from the pot of boiling water; testing one before dropping them all back in to cook for a few more minutes. "That's true, but we were all once like them. They will evolve into us and fly to this Heaven when their time has come or evolve into demons and be cast into the fires of Hell."

Hisoka nodded mutely. Diego glanced up to the angel on the windowsill. For some reason, the aura around the empath seemed... lonely, despite his best friend being just across the room. Diego turned to the noodles again, bringing them up and separating them into two bowls. As he got the chicken and the sauce together, he asked, "You miss him, don't you?"

Hisoka snapped his head up in surprise, giving Diego a "how-did-you-know" look before he slowly nodded again, eyes softening as they looked at the stained glass reflection of a tiger that seemed to run across the floor, stalking its prey: the reflection of a rabbit. How odd it seemed... Hisoka felt like the rabbit, being chased down by the predator that would follow until his last strength gave out. Hisoka knew who the tiger was in this.

Velken.

The angel was trying to get him cast out of Heaven. But why? No angel could feel hate in Heaven, at least not exactly. They can feel anger and that anger could become the rage that could cause them to dislike... or be the rage that consumed their soul and cast their souls down to the mortal world, wings burned to black ashes, and even farther, down through several levels of Hellish flames.

But that didn't matter right now. If Velken hadn't been cast down before now, his rage wasn't fully developed to be demonic. That was both good and bad. It meant Velken wasn't a demon in disguise, which had very low possibility in likeliness and that he was just another angel, but bad because he could get away with some things. Like earlier.

'_He called me a whore,'_ Hisoka thought with anger resounding from the base of his spine. _'He was trying to get me to fall from the Path... because of what I feel for Tsuzuki...'_

At the thought of Tsuzuki, all anger vanished, replaced by a warm feeling... and another feeling. A lost feeling; the sense of loss was tied into his heartstrings and beating against his chest. It felt painful. Hisoka took in a deep breath and the pain receded slightly.

"Diego?"

The black-haired angel glanced up at Hisoka as he placed the plates down on the small table. "Hmm?"

"Did you feel lost when I left?"

Diego froze for a moment, purple eyes glancing to the teen at the windowsill, locking with the green eyes that seemed almost afraid for the answers he could give. Diego stood and walked over to Hisoka. "What do you mean?"

Hisoka looked down at the floor again, seeing that the tiger was close to the rabbit now. Hisoka shut his eyes for a moment. "You already said how much you cared for me... and when I left to guard Tsuzuki... did you feel lost?"

"Do you?" was the responsive question.

Hisoka felt a hand on his shoulder. He slowly nodded and the hand on his shoulder gave a gentle squeeze. "Then you know how it feels."

Hisoka opened his eyes and turned his head up sharply to stare at Diego. "If I had known, I wouldn't have left!"

"You had to. It's your duty."

"But—"

"No buts," Diego cut in, giving the green eyes in front of him a harsh stare.

Hisoka had to look away. "I don't wish it on anyone."

"Anyone who does isn't fit to be an angel."

Hisoka frowned. How had it all come to this? People say that comfort came in groups. Diego was right next to him and yet, Hisoka had never felt so alone. He closed his eyes when he felt a hand on his forehead. He felt it slide down to cover his already closed eyes. "Hisoka, listen." The sentence was spoken into his ear in a hushed voice. Hisoka bit his lip to keep himself from talking.

And he did listen.

He could hear the wind rustling the trees just beyond the meadow out back; he could hear the soft paws of the foxes as they strode across the grass, he could hear the birds chirping as they flew across the vast ever-blue sky, but mostly, Hisoka could hear a heartbeat. It wasn't his own, but it was near him and he could hear its normal beats, the beats that kept it going. They neither sped up, nor slowed.

"Wakata," Hisoka murmured and the hand uncovered his eyes just as he opened them. Diego gave him a smile before gesturing to the food he had placed down just moments before.

"It's going to get cold," he said with the same small smile. Hisoka nodded and they took their plates. They both said their own respective words before taking the first bite, chewing it slowly, as they always trained their tongues for this meal.

Hisoka closed his eyes. Oh how he had missed this... the spicy sauce rolled over his tongue and the hot chicken intensified his taste buds, setting his mouth on fire. But it wasn't a bad fire; it was a fire that reminded him of being with Tsuzuki, oddly enough.

Tsuzuki...

Hisoka placed down his fork as he finished his meal, not ten minutes after he had begun. He saw Diego look at him, but Hisoka said nothing. His eyes began to burn with determination, the green irises reflecting the fire that he had kept within him for so long.

He was going to win over at this trial.

Even if it_ killed_ him.


	16. Trial, Part Two

Recommended listening: _Nishra's Dance_ by **Enam**

My Angel

Chapter 16

It was hard, truly it was.

Hisoka's feet felt heavy as he forced his body to move—pushing his muscles beyond what they wanted to do—and strode down the dirt road, his feet clad once more in his sandals of gold with silver linings, carved wood and hand-crafted only for him. It had just been moments ago that the noise he had been dreading—the trumpet—was played and warned the society in heaven that the trial case was re-convening, ordering everyone back into the courtroom without time to hesitate. Hisoka knew that Diego was secretly protecting him from behind other angels' backs, but that didn't make Hisoka any less afraid, despite how he didn't admit to such feelings.

It felt cold as he entered the courtroom for the second time that day, ignoring the stares and hearing his own feet hitting the stone booming in his ears. It was all he heard. One step, second step. He heard it over the whispers, the exclamations, the motions from other angels. What reassured him that he was still in his angelic body was his empathy flaring slightly with all the negative emotions around. Disgust, confusion, pity, anger, sadness, hatred—

He stopped, snapping his head up. He had stopped just before he had reached his seat. Hatred? That couldn't be right. No true angel of heaven could feel true hatred. It wasn't possible. Hisoka's eyes were drawn to the table across from his where Velken was seated, flipping through some papers. They looked like his old medical records obtained from earth. Was he even allowed to look at those? Probably...

Those icy eyes glanced up from the papers and the empath froze. The steel eyes drove a stake in his chest and twisted a full 360 degrees, making Hisoka suddenly feel as if he were going to be violently sick right then and there. He had _never_, in his afterlife, seen such coldness reflecting out at him, from an _angel_, no less. And since he was in the courtroom, Hisoka couldn't reach out with his empathy to read the angels thoughts. That was forbidden and with how much trouble he was in, he couldn't afford anything else screwing up. Could it be that…?

He shook his head. No, God's kingdom would never allow such a being and a disguise was especially hard to pull off; it was impossible. It couldn't happen. It just… couldn't.

"Would all please rise once more for Judge Kira," said the bailiff, motioning with his hands.

Everyone who had been sitting now stood, some bowing their heads as Kira e-reentered the room, looking just a tad tired. In a flash, she fixed her slightly messy hair and let out a sigh, seating herself at her place and she banged her gavel once. Everyone now sat, some still whispering. Hearing them, Kira tilted her head and motioned with her hand for them to quiet with an additional bang with her gavel. Silence engulfed the room.

Hisoka leaned back in his chair as Diego seated himself next to him. He felt nervous, just like before, but even more so because the fact that if he glanced through his bangs, just ever so slightly, he would see the satisfied smirk on Velken's face, unrelenting and confident, but there was something. What was it...?

"Will the defendant please rise and approach the bench." It was an order, not a request.

Hisoka snapped out of his thoughts and rose as he was told, his wings folding tightly against the curve of his back, reflecting his emotions with a dull purple color, dull as a pastel. Silently, the empath walked up to the bench, facing Kira and bowed. The woman folded her hands. "We will be continuing your case at this time, Kurosaki. However, we must attain permission from you to use your medical records and past client case files for both sides, as you are the only one here who can vouch for yourself. Consider it wisely."

Hisoka blinked at her, and then suddenly his mouth dropped open in shock. No. No way were they using his client records. All it had were the details of his missions; there was nothing there. What use could they be? And his medical records! How were those helpful? It was probably just another set-up by Velken to deal another emotional blow to his psyche, something he seriously didn't need at the moment. Hisoka glanced up and shut his mouth, hiding the sudden fear behind his eyes and he glanced back at Diego before switching over to Velken. The angel's face was now straight, but there was a wicked twinkle behind those arctic blue eyes. No. His records could not be used in those hands. Probably not even in Diego's hands.

"May I ask what use they would be to my case?" Hisoka asked, deciding to work around the problem and solve it by stabbing it from behind without looking like a murderer.

Kira turned to look at Velken, who rose up and took the stack of files into his hands. One of the folders, Hisoka noted, was purple, which was indicating his current case with Tsuzuki. The case folders were ones he had chosen based on eye color. There were two green ones, a gold one, a blue one, and then the purple one. How were his cases with Hijiri, Hisae, Watari, and Misaki relevant to his one with Tsuzuki? Unless... _'Oh, no!'_

Velken spoke. "These case records in my hand are of people who lived within the same area that were given to Kurosaki Hisoka as clients during the first twenty years of his work as a guardian." Velken opened the files one by one. "Minase Hijiri, Tóyjó Hisae, Watari Yutaka, and Himura Masaki are all of Kurosaki's past clients that have had similar difficulties to Asato Tsuzuki, considering the special powers they each possess, and since they live near the man, we can use past files to fill in the blanks Kurosaki has left us with in regards to his act of sodomy."

Diego stood up, eyes narrowed, but said nothing. His amethyst eyes once so warm were now like balls of ice, glaring daggers at Velken for his use of illogical fallacy. Hisoka found his fists clenched together, shaking with an intensity he hadn't known for a long time. Gritting his teeth, he grounded out another question. "And my medical records?"

Velken now smirked, sending a shiver down Hisoka's spine. "Considering your past, it may also help us understand if you've had any psychological trauma in your life that could've led you away from God's path and down your sinful one."

Diego interjected immediately. "I object to the logic surrounding those statements, Your Honor."

Velken turned to Diego. "It is not your decision to make, Diego."

Diego narrowed his eyes further. "I am his defense attorney and I have the right to do so."

"I believe the question was directed at Kurosaki and not at you."

Kira immediately banged her gavel. "Shut up, the both of you." She turned her gaze and blinked at the empath before her. "Kurosaki?"

Hisoka's wings were slowly turning from the pastel purple to a deep, raging red. On the boy, they looked almost terrifying and he couldn't find a way to calm down. Diego made a move to walk over, but then suddenly, Hisoka unclenched his fist and put his hand up to stop him. If he did anything now, it would look suspicious. For a moment, he found himself breathing; that was the only sound he heard. His deep blood-red wings now dulled down to a faded red, still pulsating with a strong light.

So this was it. Velken's challenge. A Code Silver in a nutshell. The act of questioning the use of personal information was something that hadn't been done in a courtroom for the past 500 years considering that God had always allowed immediate investigation to all trials from before, but those were for demons who had disguised as angels or something akin to that. Hisoka felt a little lucky he was allowed to choose, considering his position. He couldn't pick the stupid decision of letting Velken use it. Not only would that beat him down for sure, but he'd be prideful of himself, something he had learned to give up, thanks to Diego's teachings and God's laws. Besides, Velken's logic was unreasonable. Psychological trauma? Whoring clients? Hisoka had vowed never to fall in love with a client... that was before Tsuzuki's time and Hisoka decided he couldn't keep that vow. And the "trauma" Velken must be looking for were the aftereffects Hisoka still experienced somehow or another when he was alone; he'd wake up from nightmares screaming or his body would flare brightly with red curse marks. Until the man – Muraki — was dead, Hisoka would still go through the torment. Velken had no right to use his feelings against him.

Kira looked down at Hisoka. "I need an answer now, Kurosaki."

Hisoka glanced back at her, his eyes no long calculating, no longer wondering about what could be if he did or did not allow the usage of his records. The logic wouldn't pass through. He knew it.

"No."

Diego let out a small sound of relief while Velken's eyes narrowed, clearly disappointed. Hisoka turned to face the prosecuting attorney with a new fire in his eyes. Velken actually cringed at the look. Hisoka's wings spread out a bit, changing from the dulled red to a deep navy blue with his new confidence and knowledge he felt he had had all along.

He wasn't going to lose.

"My answer is no."

**-x-**

There was a distant ring, almost unheard despite the fact that it was echoing throughout the entire house, accompanied by yips for attention. It was a phone. Of course. The stupid thing... who would call this early?

Tsuzuki sighed as he rose from his place in the chair by the frosty window and follow Pascal to where he kept the phone in the kitchen. He picked up Pascal, holding him in one hand before placing him on the counter, moving to pet him to keep him quiet. Ignoring the hesitance he demonstrated by letting his hand hover over the phone handle, he picked up the phone and had it against his ear for a full ten seconds before he actually spoke.

"Moshi-moshi?"

There was a crisp and cut voice on the other line, a voice that the violet-eyed man knew well and couldn't forget even if he had amnesia. Not Hisoka as he had hoped – but why the hell would Hisoka use the phone? – but rather, someone else who he trusted. Tatsumi. "Tsuzuki-san? Why didn't you come into work today?"

Oh, he had work today. Wait, when had that been announced? Oh, right, he had only been excused early the previous day. Not excused for another day. Right. "Ah, gomen ne, Tatsumi. I've been a little distracted..."

"I see. Well, make sure it doesn't happen again. We need you at work tomorrow at latest," came the crisp reply again.

Tsuzuki nodded, despite that Tatsumi couldn't see it. "Ah, wakata. I'll be there..." His voice trailed off between "be" and "there". He hoped it would go unnoticed.

"Tsuzuki-san? Is there something wrong?" Nope, ears were as sharp as ever.

Tsuzuki recovered as quickly as he could, though his voice was still a little shaky when he spoke again. "Y-yeah, I'm fine. Just a little tired, I suppose..." Then a thought hit him. He remembered his conversation with Hisoka days ago about Tatsumi.

"_Seiichiro Tatsumi is your boss?"_

"_How'd you know?"_

"_I am your guardian."_

"_That's true."_

But somehow, there was something the angel was hiding. Something important. But he hadn't told him. Why hadn't he—?

"Tsuzuki-san?"

Brought back to reality, Tsuzuki held the phone closer to his ear and his motions on Pascal's ears stopped abruptly as he thought of something he hadn't before.

"Tatsumi, I have a question." Tsuzuki took a deep breath, as if trying to mentally prepare himself for something unexpected. "Do you know a boy about five foot six, around sixteen with short blonde hair and green eyes? Kinda boyish, but serious at the same time?"

No response.

"His name's Hisoka."

Silence. Then...

_"Yes."_


	17. Partial Truth

Recommended listening: _Star of the Sea_ by **Mediaeval Baebes**

My Angel

Chapter 17

_"Yes."_

The one word seemed to ring through the house, echoing in Tsuzuki's ears as he felt his eyes widen in somewhat unexpected surprise. He had suspected for the moment, merely suspected, but his kidding around had gotten him somewhere he hadn't ventured before and it roused even more questions within him. How did Tatsumi know Hisoka? Had they met before Hisoka died? Was Tatsumi an angel? Was he a devil? Was he in league with Muraki, the same man who had killed Hisoka? Was he good or was he evil? Was he a friend or an enemy? Was he—?

_"Tsuzuki-san, I need you to listen closely."_

The man's voice brought Tsuzuki back to his body for the second time that conversation and he nodded despite that Tatsumi couldn't see it and found his hand shaking even as he tried to keep the phone pressed steadily to his ear. "H-hai?" Even his voice was shaky...

_"I'm going to explain everything, but not now and not over the phone. It's too risky even with circumstances as they are—"_

"Wait, why not?" Tsuzuki interrupted, holding the phone tighter than before. "Why can't you just tell m—"

_"I can't. Who knows what could be listening on this conversation, demon_ or _angel."_

"Why would they tap my phone?" Now Tsuzuki was confused. Tatsumi was acting strangely. Not that Tsuzuki himself wasn't acting strangely as well, considering the situation he was in, but still...

_"You never know. It's just a precaution,"_ came the now more formal reply, but it was still laced with concern. The seriousness of the secretary, however, overrode that emotion. _"I'm going to come over and explain. Give me ten minutes."_

"Wait, Tatsu—"

The other line was dead.

Tsuzuki, bewildered, set the phone back on its holder, looking at his shaking hand. Pascal, still on the counter, sensed his master's worry and whined a bit, trying to get his attention for a moment. Tsuzuki, engrossed in his thinking, first didn't hear the puppy asking for his affection. What did Tatsumi mean? Tapping phones? Angel and demons would tap his phone? Why his phone? What reason could they possibly have for—?

Oh.

_Oh._

Tsuzuki finally looked down at Pascal, looking for a moment as if he'd forgotten the puppy was there. Giving the small animal an apologetic look, Tsuzuki scooped the dog into his hands and began to stroke his ears. "I'm sorry, Pascal. I got distracted. Forgive me, ne?" A lick to his fingers was the response and Tsuzuki managed a small smile. "Arigatou, Pascal-kun..."

True to his word, not ten minutes after the phone call had ended, a knocking came at Tsuzuki's door. Tsuzuki, having migrated to the living room with Pascal, looked up at the noise. In a flash, Pascal was out of his lap and yipping down to the hall. Tsuzuki follow the yapping dog to the door and picked up the animal before finally opening the door. Tatsumi stood there, wearing a long brown trench coat, frost nipping at the corners of his glasses thanks to the cold wind. He offered a small smile to the male in front of him and Tsuzuki could only nod in reply as move out of the way so Tatsumi could walk inside. Shutting the door, Tsuzuki offered to take Tatsumi's coat, but was declined. After a few minutes of warming up and settling to the living room, Tsuzuki finally asked the ultimate question laced with hesitation.

"Who _are_ you?"

Tatsumi removed his glasses and wiped off the remaining frost and water with a handkerchief from his pocket and a small sigh. Then, replacing them on his face, the sapphire eyes set themselves on the man before them and regarded slowly, as if hesitating to answer. "I suppose with all that's been going on, you might have no choice but to believe me."

"Please, Tatsumi, just answer my question." Tsuzuki didn't want the man to dodge the question in any way. "Who are you?"

Another sigh, a closure of the eyes, and an adjustment of the glasses before they were removed entirely. They took off many years with them. "Somehow I knew it would come to this..."

Tatsumi opened his eyes and looked at Tsuzuki straight with such clarity that Tsuzuki could've sworn that he saw everything in those eyes, if only for a moment. "You can see?"

Tatsumi nodded. "The glasses are merely a cover up to make people think I'm losing my sight. In truth, my eyes are probably sharper than yours." Tsuzuki could only gape as Tatsumi went on. "Although with my powers, I don't need to see."

Tatsumi shifted his gaze to Pascal for a moment before he looked back at Tsuzuki. "Let me explain... My name is Seiichiro Tatsumi, but I am not the man you have known for the past few years. I am one of the higher angels of God. My Hebrew name is Betzalel, which means to be "in the shadow of God". I am God's shadow."

Tsuzuki blinked. Once. Twice. Three times. God's shadow? How did that work? Did he just stand behind God or something? Apparently, the confusion was etched across his face like a child's messy portrait because Tatsumi offered a weak smile and lifted his hand for a moment. In a flash, something dark and thin coiled around his hand and wrist, startling the hell out of Tsuzuki and one look from Pascal set the puppy yipping at the... the thing.

"Is that a—"

"Shadow? Yes." Tatsumi lowered his hand and the shadow slunk off to the corner of the room. "That is my power. I am the Angel of Shadows; God's shadow and everyone's shadow."

Tsuzuki could only blinked for another minute or two before his mind finally processed what he was being told. "O-okay let me get this straight. You're an angel, you control shadows... you're," Tsuzuki held up quote marks, "'God's Shadow', and what, you... you just _happen_ to be here?" All of this was becoming a muddled mess for poor Tsuzuki. Why was Tatsumi here? What connection did he have with Hisoka?

Tatsumi shook his head. "Not entirely." He slipped his glasses into his shirt pocket so he would remember where they were later. "I was an angle for God and God alone for many, many years. I served as his undercover agent. My main mission was to watch you before Kurosaki-kun got here." Tsuzuki gaped again, but Tatsumi continued. "You also have powers, Tsuzuki, and we need to protect you while they lay dormant within you." Tatsumi pointed a finger to Tsuzuki's chest from across the small coffee table. "Your powers can surpass mine and Kurosaki's very easily. Should that power fall into the wrong hands... well, I'd prefer not to explain there if you can forgive me."

Tsuzuki stared for a few long minutes. Then he spoke and this time, his purple eyes looked as if they were fogging up and his hands clenched into small fists. "So all this time... were you only protecting me because I had powers? Were you only here because I—"

Tatsumi knew where this was going and held up his hand. "Stop right there, Tsuzuki. I don't want you putting words in my mouth. It may have started out that way, but I do consider you a dear friend."

Tsuzuki colored in embarrassment and nodded slowly, relaxing a bit in his chair. Tatsumi frowned at the look on the man's face before he leaned forward, elbows on the coffee table and hands folded together. "Tsuzuki, you wanted to know how I knew Kurosaki-kun, is that right?"

Tsuzuki barely nodded, now more focused than ever. "How do you know Hisoka?"

Tatsumi leaned back in his chair now, folding one leg over the other, sitting formally once more. It was almost a shift in personality, as the man before Tsuzuki now went from a man who had a hard time explaining his own self to a man who was all business. And yet, he wasn't. He was the same.

"This dates back for a few more years than I would care to admit, but it happened some twenty odd years ago," the angel began, keep his gaze locked on Tsuzuki. "Kurosaki was very young when he died. I was the one who had greeted him before taking him to see God." Seeing Tsuzuki's confused look, he quickly put in, "Every time a soul dies unexpectedly or in a special circumstance, an angel is sent to meet that soul and take them directly to God for their position. I happened to be the one who God wanted to send."

Tsuzuki let out a soft, "Oh," understanding now.

Tatsumi continued. "When I first met him, he was being led by Diego and Alexandra. I'm sure Kurosaki's already informed you of their positions?" Another nod. "All right, then. I met up with the three after completing an assignment earlier that day; they were all looking grave."

The sapphire eyes grew serious. "It was as if Diego had lost the will to give life and Alexandra the same with her role of bringing death. But between them, the expression Kurosaki wore on his face was just so _broken_. I had known that my assignment was to take his soul to God. I even got him to speak because I had to answer his questions. However... if there was a time I felt as if I wanted to die, then the first time I saw him would've been it..."

_It was a sunny day, bright and cheerful, the skies filled with angels who flew on bright golden and silver wings, some on navy and others on green. It was a wonderful sight to all those who were worthy of seeing it and all those who were lucky enough to see it. The trees were bearing golden fruit that were as soft as the grains of wheat in the fields and the clouds were low, promising granted drizzles to all who wished them._

_An angel with flowing brown hair, tied to the base of his neck in two ribbons, watched from under a large tree as angels flew past, merrily dancing with one another or playing a game. A smile graced the man's face as his sapphire eyes gleamed in the rays of light that filtered through the foliage. He wore a long black robe, tied with a purple sash around his middle and he wore silver sandals. His face, while serious, held gentleness to it and his eyes shone with happiness at all he could see._

_"Betzalel!"_

_The man turned at the sound of his name being called from across the dirt road and his eyes fell upon two figures—no, there were three—three figures walking towards him. The one who had called his name he could recognize by voice. It was Diego, Angel of Life, and beside him, as always, stood Alexandra, the Angel of Death. In contrast to the wonderful day in Heaven, their faces were grim and gloomy, as if they'd just watched a series of car wrecks involving more than one hundred lives at a time. Between them – or rather, hidden behind the two – stood a lonely figure, no taller than five and half feet, a mop of wheat hair tinted ash, and when they came close enough, one could see the green eyes reflecting back at nothing. On the obviously malnourished body hung a long shirt, orange in color, and tight jeans that looked old. If he had been wearing tennis shoes and socks before, he wasn't now. What skin Tatsumi could see was deathly pale. But there was one thing that stuck out like a thousand needles._

_It was the fact that the boy before him was empty._

_Trying to cover up the apparently surprise circulating through him, Tatsumi turned to face Diego, who wore an expression of guilt while Alexandra wore her mask of turmoil. They both couldn't figure out what to do. Seeing this as an opening despite the silence, Tatsumi put out his hand to the boy. "My name is Betzalel. What's yours?"_

_The green eyes glanced at him for but a moment. They seemed to reflect something Tatsumi couldn't understand from just that one glance, at one indescribable look. Then those eyes looked away and not a word escaped the boy's lips. Diego stepped in, putting Tatsumi's hand down, seeing that the boy was refusing physical contact. "His name is Kurosaki Hisoka. He is one of the_ cases_, Betzalel."_

_Tatsumi nodded and glanced at the boy – Hisoka – one last time before he nodded once more. "I will take it from here. Chayyim, Azrael, we shall take our leave now."_

_The two angels nodded in return and in their passing, Diego put his hand on Hisoka's shoulder for a moment before he walked away, Alexandra in tow. Tatsumi watched them go and then turned to face the young teenager. "If you'll follow me, Kurosaki-kun, I will take you to where you need to go."_

_There was no response, no reply to his words. It was as if they had gone one ear and out the other without so much as comprehension flickering in the jade eyes. After what felt like hours, Hisoka finally nodded and Tatsumi offered a small smile before beginning to walk, confident the teenager would follow. He did. Tatsumi made sure not to walk too far ahead of Hisoka, but the boy would slow down if Tatsumi did, as if mimicking his movements, trying to get it just right. Tatsumi grew a little concerned. Then, shocking, Hisoka spoke._

_"Why did you call them that?"_

_Tatsumi raised an eyebrow as they walked. "Call them what?"_

_The green eyes met sapphire for the first true time and for a moment, it felt as if time stopped between the two. Then, it started up again and it clicked in Tatsumi's brain before Hisoka spoke again._

_"Chayyim and Azrael... their names are Diego and Alexandra..."_

_Tatsumi looked to the sky. Now he understood. "I see... yes, that can be confusing. Those are their Hebrew names. Chayyim means "life" and Azrael means "death". Or at least, something akin to those terms. While my name may be Seiichiro Tatsumi on earth, I am known here as Betzalel, the Shadow of God. Here we refer to one another by our real names, the names God give us. You will find out yours within the hour."_

_Silence reigned between them for a moment. Then..._

_"So this is Heaven?"_

_Tatsumi felt as if he should stop; make the boy do a full 360 before asking that question again. The sapphire eyes reflected concern not readily felt yet. "Yes. What made you think otherwise?"_

_The green orbs glanced away. "Nothing." But there was more to it than that; Tatsumi could tell._

_They arrived in front of large doors made of wood and steel that were already opening for them by the command of two angels – twins, actually – and Tatsumi began to walk again, making sure Hisoka was in tow. Gone was the simple childish innocence seen not a moment before. He had gone back into himself, keeping secrets that were going to be laid bare anyway. It didn't take long for them to walk down the long hallway and stop in front of another set of doors – smaller doors made of wood as well – and Tatsumi knocked twice. They swung open._

_Before him and Hisoka was a dark room, completely bare of all things, and a single light from nowhere shone in the middle. Tatsumi walked in, but Hisoka stayed where he was for a moment longer than normal. Tatsumi glanced back. The boy was tense; he could see it in those eyes. Tatsumi gestured for the teenager to follow, which Hisoka eventually complied to, if not reluctantly._

_The doors shut behind them._

_The light in the bare room gave Tatsumi and Hisoka more than enough to see. Tatsumi moved off to a corner, giving Hisoka the space he needed. Hisoka flashed him a look, looking as if it had been done on pure instinct, but it vanished as soon as it had come and he turned his attention to around the room. "Where is this?"_

_Tatsumi glanced up at where the ceiling would be were they in a normal room. "This is the Case Chamber." The gaze flicked over to Hisoka and finally rested there. "You are one of the ones chosen by God for a position to serve Him. Given what happened to you three years ago—"_

_He stopped then. Hisoka's eyes had widened slightly, looking like he didn't believe a word that he had just heard. The expression said it all for Tatsumi. Hisoka couldn't hide his shock about the fact that he knew what had happened. And then in this chamber. And beyond the shock was fear. Fear at what could happen. Fear at something he didn't know._

_Tatsumi shook his head. "We're not going to punish you, Kurosaki-kun. That's not what we're here for."_

_Hisoka's eyes narrowed a little. He didn't believe him. "Then what are you going to do with me?"_

_Sapphire eyes matched the green ones for but an instant. "Absolutely nothing."_

_"N-nani?"_

_For what felt like the millionth time, Tatsumi shook his head. "We're not going to do anything with you, Kurosaki. You're not here to be punished, hurt, or otherwise. You are here to talk to God."_

_That got an expected reaction. "What God? I don't see any—"_

_Tatsumi motioned around the room, as if lecturing, his voice taking on a different tone than earlier—a tone that explained wisdom. "God is everywhere in here. In front of you, to the side of you, behind you, above you, below you, everywhere."_

_Hisoka looked down at his feet for a moment and Tatsumi thought that the childish nature had returned. It was evident in the next question. "What am I supposed to do?"_

_Tatsumi regarded Hisoka for a bit before he let out a small breath, feeling as if he were getting somewhere. "Just talk to Him. Regarding anything about yourself, where you are." Tatsumi headed for the door. "You are lucky to be asking Him and allowed immediate answers. Most of us don't get that kind of opportunity."_

_The hard green gaze shot up. "Where are you going?"_

_"Just outside. I'd figure you need the privacy. You may come out when you are ready."_

_And Tatsumi left the room._

Tsuzuki could only stare, wide-eyed as the man he had thought he'd known for the past few years finish up his explanation. He couldn't find words to speak, nor find strength in his body to move and make gesture. He was speechless. He, Tsuzuki Asato, was speechless, unable to put words into his own mouth. He just couldn't.

Tatsumi sighed as his friend just stared at him, those wide purple eyes delving holes into him, as if trying to communicate something, but not quite getting to him. Tatsumi wiped his glasses to make his idle hands do something before he titled his head a little and began to speak again. "It was only until later that I found out Kurosaki-kun was an empath, so he could've just read my thoughts instead of asking me. In truth, he had tried that, but seeing as how he isn't the only empath in Heaven, well... my shields were already built."

"S-sou ka," the amethyst-eyed man murmured. He had finally gotten his mouth to work and that was all he said?

"I know this is hard, considering the situation, but I knew we would have to tell you sooner or later. I'm sorry for keeping this from you for so long." The sapphire eyes glanced away, finding the door to be more interesting.

Tsuzuki shook his head. "No, I'm the one who should be sorry. Just confronting you like that was wrong, but I felt like I _had_ to know."

"... Did Kurosaki ever tell you his real name?"

Tsuzuki looked up, shaking his head. "No."

"I suspected as much. His real name, if you want to know, is Ayelet. It's his Hebrew name, derived from the name for the morning star. It means "deer" or "gazelle". Thanks to Greek mythology, he can become attached to it because the deer was Artemis's symbol as an archer."

Ayelet. Tsuzuki found himself almost smiling at the word and his hand came up to clutch the cross pendant hanging around his neck. Touching it filled him with a warmth he had lost not two days before and he felt a little better. The strong, but feminine name really suited Hisoka.

"—unless it is God speaking to him."

Tsuzuki glanced up. "Huh?"

Tatsumi gave him slightly bemused look. "I said, he refuses to be called by that name unless it is God who is speaking to him. Only God may call him by that name in his eyes and the rest of us call him by his earthly name, Kurosaki, or for some, just Hisoka. I've never heard anyone call him by his name except himself."

Something in Tsuzuki's mind clicked and he could almost feel the wheels turning. "Wait a minute, so God only ever calls Hisoka by his Hebrew name?"

"As far as we know. God never calls me by my earthly name, neither for Diego, Alexandra, Kurosaki, or anyone else."

Amethyst eyes widened in shock. "Then that means..."

Sapphire eyes narrowed in bewilderment. "What?"

Tsuzuki locked his eyes with his friend's, remembering the voice that had spoken to him and Hisoka not two days before, the voice that had boomed out their sin. "If that's true, then this whole thing is a hoax."

"What is?"

"The trial."

"How so?"

Tsuzuki looked up. "The voice that spoke to Hisoka and I... that night, it said "Kurosaki Hisoka", not "Ayelet". The voice claimed to be God. So if what you're saying it true, then..."

Sapphire eyes widened in realization and both men came to the same conclusion. And two voices spoke the same thing:

"It was all a trap."


	18. Power of Words: Trial, Part 3

Recommended listening: _The Mystic's Dream II_ by **Loreena McKennitt**

My Angel

Chapter 18

"Your Honor, may I request to redirect the defendant?" Diego's strong, clear voice broke the intense silence.

Velken was positively _seething_ and Hisoka's narrow emerald gaze was making him shift uncomfortably on the spot. Diego inwardly endorsed to the empath. The fact that Hisoka could make Velken shift as much as he was – shifting at _all_, really – was truly amazing. The empath's fight was back within him, in his blood. He was not the broken angel who had left after the recess; he was the Angel of Archery, with a cold fire in his eyes that unleashed torrents of words with one glance and strength beyond belief. The wings of the empath were back to their deep blood red, reflecting his ire with each pulse of his heart, brightening the color in his wings before dulling once more. It was truly amazing.

Kira turned her eyes on Diego and gave a brief nod. This trial had been going on longer than expected. Kira thought the same thing as every angel in the room while trying not to believe it: _He's buying time_. The trial should've ended already, despite the recess that she had granted, but it hadn't and that was the odd thing. Normally sodomites would've been cast out from Heaven by this time _without_ trial. Yet, the trial in itself was strange, considering the fact that the empath had been pardoned, something that was originally prohibited in Heaven (to put one person above another)... and at the same time, it was getting stranger by the minute.

"You may proceed," Kira finally said, watching as Hisoka took that as his cue to return to the stand. He folded his wings as he sat, knowing that not only was this was the last cross-examination, but it was also his last chance to put in his input and his beliefs before the final verdict. He had his chance now. He needed to take it.

The teenager's green eyes flickered over to Velken for a split second, watching as the angel seemed to mumble to himself and return the old case records and the empath's medical records to another who, who then took them out of the room. Hisoka breathed a sigh of relief. Thank God. He was somewhat safe... _somewhat_.

Diego stood up and the emerald eyes returned to their long-known friend, awaiting the new questions. Diego paced once, walking from his table, up to Hisoka, to the jury seats, and then back to the table. Then, as if something had hit him, he turned around. "Hisoka, what were you feeling when you took on Tsuzuki Asato as your client in the beginning?"

Hisoka blinked. The question was completely random! Why was he asking that? "I felt angry. And sad."

Diego frowned. "And why was that?"

"Because..." the empath hesitated. Did he honestly have to say? Did he have to expose _it_ to the courtroom? There had to be a way around the question. He knew Diego was trying to help him, but Hisoka had always found ways to dodge things on his own. This was no different, right? "Because the same man who had _raped_ and _murdered_ me was going after others. I was angry with that man. And I was sad... sad because Tsuzuki may have been only one out of the many who could be hurt by this man's hand. And after what happened to me, I never wanted to see the murderer see the light of day ever again." There was a small hint of a smile on Diego's face before it vanished, but that small hint gave Hisoka a new burst of courage. "And I also felt discouraged... Because I thought I would fail."

Diego shifted for a moment, as if thinking again. Velken was glaring at Hisoka and the empath just glared right back. Velken turned his eyes away and Hisoka returned his gaze to Diego as he spoke again.

"So how would you say these feelings developed, this love for Tsuzuki?"

Hisoka felt his face heat up. Oh, so _that's_ where Diego was going... it wasn't out of spite, but in understanding. Hisoka glanced off for a moment, thinking hard for a moment before attempting to reply. "I'm not sure. I had been with him longer than any of my other clients, so I got to understand him more. I know his strengths and his weaknesses; you don't have to give me charts for those..." He was babbling. He had to answer the question up front right now. "It was, I think, because he was so much like me."

Diego looked as if he were going to continue that question, but thought better of it and just nodded. "Thank you." He sat down and Hisoka knew the hardest part was coming. He could feel the enraged aura rolling off Velken in waves. He'd never felt so much anger before. He bit his lip so he wouldn't shiver as the angel stood, looking down at his notepad, which had notes, yes, but they were torn up, most likely in anger. "Kurosaki-kun..."

"Hai?" It was only natural to respond.

"How is Tsuzuki so much like you?" The icy blue eyes were on him, unfeeling and empty, as if unseeing as well.

Hisoka frowned, a slightly confused look on his face. "He and I share some similar qualities—"

"State them."

Kira glanced over. "Rephrase in the form of a question, Velken."

Velken calmed down enough to be able to abide by the judge's order. "Can you state some qualities on how you are, in your words, "so much alike" with your client?"

Now Hisoka began to feel the fear rise up within him again, the fear that had nearly consumed him before recess, the fear that he was afraid of most in this courtroom, on this stand, facing an angel who looked as if he'd murder him. "He and I were both hated by our families and have very few friends... we've known loneliness and we both—"

"Are demons?" Velken interrupted, wings twitching and eyes narrowed.

Hisoka's eyes widened at the sudden accusation and murmurs began to spread through the courthouse immediately. Kira banged her gavel and the courthouse went silent again. Hisoka's green eyes stared in shock at Velken and Diego had stood up, ready to make objection at any second should he hear anything that would be illogical. The jurors were silent, as always had been throughout the trial, their settled their eyes on Velken before turning to Hisoka, who just sat there, as if unable to speak.

Velken walked over to the stand, raising a fine eyebrow and it was clear on his face that he was amused by the sudden change in the empath's attitude, from determined to shock into silence. "Well, Kurosaki-kun? You said that you and he share some qualities. How do we know you're not a demon as he is?"

Hisoka nearly crossed the border, the restraint that held him back from jumping up and attacking Velken on the spot. He kept down, his wings pulsing quickly as his wings changed from the dull red into an alarming orange-red. Velken seemed pleased with the reaction. He was waiting for an answer.

Diego finally spoke. "I object to that question, Your Honor. He took the defendant's words too literally."

"Have I, Diego?" Velken turned to face the Angel of Life before glancing back to the Angel of Archery. "But am I not wrong?"

Hisoka felt it then. A burning raging fire was building up inside him, but it was nothing like his fire. His fire, colored blue and green, burning cold to anyone who dare oppose him was different from this fire. This fire was almost _hellish_, a fiery red glow revealing itself under his clothes. Hisoka grit his teeth. He couldn't believe his curse was acting up at _this_ time, no less. And God, it _burned_... burned so badly...

"What does one call that?" Velken pointed to Hisoka as a red glow shone underneath his clothes.

Kira banged her gavel. "Enough, Velken. Sustain yourself. Kurosaki has a—"

Hisoka shook his head, finally regaining the movements of his body. "No. I am not a demon. And neither is he..."

"He's registered as one," Velken replied. "So how is he not a demon?"

"He isn't!" Hisoka half-shouted, his green eyes while misty were carrying defiance. His wings burned their deep red again, but now they mixed in with purple and blue, creating a cold fire that flickered green at angles. "If you met him, you would not find anything demonic about him. He's always cheerful, protective, innocent in his own way, goofy, and a pain to take care of... but not a demon. I have been protecting him from the same man who murdered me and risked my second life for his."

"But those are your feelings that caused your sodomy, are they not?!" Velken seemed to get angry again. Both of the angels' voices were escalating and all everyone felt they should do was sit back and watch.

"If you call it that, fine," Hisoka replied. _'I've had enough... there's only one way...' _Bravely, for the first time in his life, Hisoka pulled the collar of his robe and exposed his collarbone and upper chest briefly to the court of hundreds of angels, to the jurors, to the judge, and even to _Diego_, someone he swore to never show... Gone was the hesitance. This was his last chance. "_This_ is what was done to be by my murderer. Do you think I would consider myself an angel if I sat back and watched it happen to Tsuzuki? Even if it was just duty, I would've saved him from this anyway, would've risked my second life for his even if I didn't have these feelings. He doesn't deserve it; no one deserves this to happen to them. I do not wish it upon anyone!"

Hisoka took in a deep breath. "I spent three agonizing years in the hospital thanks to this curse, writhing in pain when awake, dulled crying when I was asleep – sleep, which did not even help me forget what had been done to me, even if for just a moment. I was never given any courtesy by my parents; no one seemed to care. Why would I ever sit back and watch this happen to _anyone_?"

Velken did not reply. Hisoka took that as his sign to continue. He replaced his robe on properly, covering up his still burning marks. For some reason, they were not as hot as they had been. He wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing, but up to this point, he didn't care. "It is true that Tsuzuki is listed as a demon on the list, and so be it. But he is still my client and it is my duty to protect him. Even if I didn't have these feelings, I would still protect him, wouldn't I? God gave me this duty. Do you think I would disobey Him?"

Hisoka glanced off again, taking one quick look around the room as everyone had surprise written on their faces. "While you may call me crazy for my curse which will not fade or an idiot for being blinded by what many would call "satanic virtues", I am here, on this stand, telling all of you things I would prefer to never speak of if I could help it, and about to be judged for breaking one of God's laws. However, before I am judged, I am going to say many things. And then I shall be silent."

No one dared to open his or her mouth. It was dead silent once more. Hisoka took in a shuddering breath. "This trial for me has been nothing more than a test of wills, to see whether I would show some indication that I didn't know what I was doing or that I was ignorant and must be punished for it. Or even that I had some mental illness. As an empath, I've experienced more things in this courtroom in the past two earth days than five years without it. I can feel all of your disgust, your thoughts to cast me away, and I am here to say that it both saddens and sickens me."

Diego's eyes widened. Hisoka was going to go over the edge if he didn't stop. He was crossing the line where he would be caught between a rock and a hard place – in this case, an almost definite "guilty" would be placed on his head. But before Diego could say anything, Hisoka continued. "It saddens me because I have been pushed away all my life and you may think me childish for saying that I want you all to accept me, but I know that will not happen. But it also sickens me because I do not know how _any_ of us can call ourselves true angels if we turn away at everything that isn't perfect or that defies a law of either God or Satan. I do not truly wish to go against the laws of God and I am ashamed I have, but at that moment in time, that one time when someone on Earth truly accepted me – _all_ of me – without hesitation, without thinking. Just that acceptance was able to fill me with emotions that healed me more than hurt me."

Velken seemed to regain his composure. "But they could have been echoes of your client's emotions that influenced you and caused you to walk down the path of sin—"

Hisoka turned his gaze to the angel, emerald eyes once more ablaze. "And this trial, Velken, as far as I'm concerned, has been about me and how I broke God's law, not what Tsuzuki has done to me. You were the one who dared to try to call me a whore in this place."

"I said no such thing!" Velken shouted, feigning surprise, which was transparent to everyone in the room now.

"Is it not true you tried to bring in past cases in hopes I would admit to some sexual act with them and therefore not only be a sodomite, but also unfaithful to what would've been, in your eyes, another 'lover'?" Gone was Hisoka's embarrassment at his words, gone was his hesitance, gone was his fear. His eyes burned.

"Err..." Velken was at a loss again, but his eyes were getting colder.

Hisoka sighed. "I will not bore you with a long speech, since by now you all may think I am completely, without a doubt, _guilty_... but I will say this. God not only placed me on Earth to guard Tsuzuki, to keep him from unleashing his inner power and protect him from Muraki's hands, but I was also put there to find a small bit of happiness that I never found in my previous life; the duty was not only for Tsuzuki but also for me. If you stops to think, you may wonder why these strings of events are aligned as what humans would call... a mere _coincidence_."

Everyone knew there was no such thing as coincidence.

So then, Hisoka closed his mouth and waited. No one moved. No one spoke. Velken looked almost livid by now and Hisoka gave him an even gaze. He wasn't afraid anymore. Velken growled and muttered just low enough to only Hisoka could hear, "You're now going to be found dead guilty now, little empath..."

Hisoka watched as Velken returned to his seat and Kira looked around the room. Diego shook his head, saying he had no words. He had a small bit of fear inside him because of Hisoka's works, but the last sentence had caught his attention. If it wasn't a mere coincidence, then that would've meant that this entire trial was _fake_. But how could that be...? It just couldn't be...

"Would the jury members please go into the next room to discuss the verdict during a one hour period?" Kira asked and the jurors, one by one, stood and left. The judge turned to Hisoka, who looked not like the wide-eyed confident angel, but now more so a tired teenager. His wings were no longer of fire, but now a dull purple. He was indeed tired. This second recess would help. Kira banged her gavel. "There is a one hour recess. Return within the hour to hear the verdict."

Hisoka let out a tired sigh and stood up, finding it hard to, as his knees shook slightly with the sudden jolt. Diego walked over to his side with a look of utter disbelief on his face and he supported Hisoka off the stand. Kira walked up to them and looked down at the empath. Leaning down slightly, she kept a straight face, but her words were laced with emotion. "What you said has really touched me, Kurosaki-kun. I hope they do not find you guilty of which you are accused."

Then she left, just like that. Hisoka had to blink a few times because, tired as he was, he hadn't been able to register what she had said behind her words. Then he sighed again and straightened. He flinched when he felt an increase in aura level as people were filing out of the room. He risked glancing over at the table parallel to theirs and could clearly _see_ Velken's aura surrounding him like flames up from the depths of Hell. Hisoka shivered.

Suddenly, and before the empath knew it, his cheek was stinging and he was flying backwards into the defendant's stand. He crashed into the stand with full force and let out a sharp cry as his wings folded beyond their limits. There was a sickening crack as one of the bones in Hisoka's right wing broke immediately upon impact. _'Shimatta!'_

Hisoka struggled to move to stand up again, glaring at Velken who had his wings unfolded, stretched out and now completely _black_. Hisoka's eyes widened. There was no mistaking it now.

Velken was a demon.

A demon in an angel's guise.

A demon after his soul.

* * *

**A/N:** Please note that I didn't do this trial correctly. I didn't do the arraignment because that would've taken too much time, it was boring, and we all know Hisoka would've pleaded "not guilty", right? I also bent the rules of this trial because it was the only way I could've fit the plot in. I'm sorry Hisoka talks so much here, but he's had all of this bottled up inside him... there has to be a way for him to get it out, right? I hope to update again soon, though that may be unlikely...


	19. Retribution

Recommended listening: **The River Sings** by _Enya_

My Angel

Chapter Nineteen

The pressure from the aura was immense.

Hisoka cringed as he tried to sit up in the damaged clutter that used to be his defendant chair in the courtroom. He wished he had sensed everything sooner. Not only was Velken a demon after his banishment, but the whole trial was now proven to be fake. But how could the other angels not see? Were they so blinded by their disgust that they couldn't read Velken's emotions not minutes before?

"Hisoka!" Diego was at his side, tending to the empath's broken wing. There was a soft golden glow and Hisoka cringed as he felt his broken bone moving and putting itself back together. He grit his teeth when the pieces connected and after that, a gentle relief rushed through his ligaments. He nodded to Diego in thanks before turning back to Velken.

He looked positively _livid_.

"You filthy little empathic whore!" Velken's voice was loud and far from sane. "The Master should have killed you in cold blood sooner! Then I wouldn't have to mess around with your disgusting way-about things and your pitiful friends!" The emotions rolling off the demon made it hard for Hisoka to think. Flashes of images flew across his eyes, showing him things he never would've guessed, seeing the past that left painful cries in his ears and horrendous agony in his chest.

Hisoka staggered to his feet, feeling his own anger melting into his wings; the once bright pearl white boiled down to the color of blood. He worked up the courage to speak. Somehow, it echoed in the hall, making his own chest shudder. "_I'm_ disgusting? Look at yourself! You, who stole an angel's skin to sneak your way into Heaven just to get me convicted of an act that is neither holy nor satanic! You, who dared to call me unfaithful when you yourself have never felt true blissful emotions like love before! You... _you_ are the wretched one!"

Velken lunged at the angel then, tackling Hisoka into the wall. Luckily, the boy's empathy kicked in and a shot of emotional energy came bursting out of his chest, slamming Velken backwards. The demon crashed into the benches beyond the defendant tables, bending his black wings as he hit the floor. Making a noise between a hiss and a grunt, Velken shot back up again, but Diego interfered, leaping between the two and tackling the demon to the floor, grabbing hold of one of the black wings and attempting to break it. In retaliation, Velken snapped his wrist up and Diego let out a cry of pain as his wings folded together, bending in ways wings should not.

Hisoka ran to the scene and summoned his energy again, creating his bow and arrow and pointing the tip between Velken's eyes. "If you want your life, you will stop what you're doing to my friend."

Velken, weighing the two options, found he didn't prefer either. If he kept using telepathy to bend Diego's wings, then he would be shot. If he complied, then he would be held in Heaven's prison for eternity. Neither was appealing. So Velken created his own option.

"The empath thinks he's so strong and can protect everyone," the demon snickered, a sly smile splitting his face. "I do not think so."

"I don't give a damn what you think. Release Diego!" Hisoka demanded, pulling back farther on the bow, his eyes flashing dangerously and his wings burning red.

"You little slut... hardly an angel..." Velken was digging himself a hole. Or so Hisoka thought. "But tell me, little angel, exactly _who_ are you directing your arrow to?"

It was then that Hisoka felt a sharp tug at the back of his mind and his body moved of its own accord. The arrow was soon pointed at Diego. Hisoka fought back against the telepathic control over his mind, but it kept pressing firmly against his temples, controlling his limbs. "Diego..."

Velken, now free from the arrow's range, sprang out from under Diego, who was frozen where he was, wings folded at an awkward angle against his back. The demon stepped back a few paces, a hand on his shoulder, which was bleeding from where Hisoka had blasted him. "Go ahead and shoot, empath. He has committed sin just as deep as you. You will soon get the consequences. Why not take him with you? He loves you, after all. He would make an excellent partner in Hell."

Hisoka's eyes were wide and his body refused to move to his mental commands. His wrist twitched; a sure sign of his rapid lose of control. "No..." It was even hard to speak. The tugs controlling his muscles moved him a step closer to Diego, who didn't move, well within range and unable to dodge should the arrow release. "Can't... don't..."

"Come now, Hisoka." Velken was using his first name. "He understands if you shoot him. You'll meet him in the fiery pit below the Earth. He loves you enough to understand that you will always mean it. He has _always_ adored you..."

A burning sensation was coming from behind Hisoka's eyes. "N-no..." He tried calling back his energy, to bring it back into his body so the bow and arrow would disappear. But the connection between the energy in his body and outside in his hands was severed. He couldn't call it back. It was shimmering in his hands, orange bow with silver arrow, reflecting great energy and power. More than enough to murder an angel.

Murdering an angel. A capital offense. There had never been a case in which an angel had been killed and the murderer hadn't suffered severe consequences. Forever in a pit of fire, forever bitten by snakes, forever anything that God decreed.

Tears were building up in Hisoka's emerald eyes. Velken had set him up. And the empath knew his rashness had let the demon do so. Velken was controlling every move he made with so little effort while making sure Diego could not run either.

"Kurosaki, what are you doing!?" Kira had come back and was looking at the scene with wide eyes. The scene was not as Hisoka or Diego saw it. What they saw was Velken, all in black with folded wings, controlling them with a blue aura and that Hisoka was being controlled and in position to shoot his best friend. What Kira saw was Velken, in his clothes – albeit them, ruffled – with a broken white wing and standing by innocently while Hisoka had a murderous look in his eyes.

Velken turned to Kira. "I couldn't stop him. He just snapped and started attacking both of us! He's going to shoot Diego!"

Diego turned to Kira as best he could, which was only a few inches, and he tried to tell her with his eyes that it hadn't happened that way. He tried shaking his head, but it only moved an inch or so to one side before freezing again. Kira watched Diego, looking into those purple eyes, the eyes of life and of a just being. Then the judge turned back to Velken, looking into the cool blue eyes and seeing no truth there.

Kira became angry. "Lies! What have you done to them!?"

Velken put his hands up. "Absolutely nothing, I swear to you! Kurosaki is the one who's insane!"

Kira ran to the empath's side, looking into those green eyes. The veil of a murderer was there, but to Kira's well-trained eyes, it folded back and revealed the tears that were just beginning to slide down those pale cheeks. Kira angrily turned to Velken, white wings spreading out from behind her black judge's cloak. "You devil!"

Kira tackled Velken to the floor. She could now see what truth there was behind the demons' guise of an angel and she threw her fist back, punching him across the face. Something cracked and Kira was glad to know it was the demon's nose. She summoned her own power, creating a short katana blade in her hand. With a whispered "Eli, Eli, calach ani," she stabbed the shoulder of the demon. Velken cried out, his concentration broken as pain exploded in the right side of his chest and shoulder.

There was a jolt. Fingers slipped. Full bodily movement returned a moment too late, as the arrow from Hisoka's bow flew forward, heading straight for Diego's heart.

"DIEGO!"

The Angel of Life regained his body functions not a moment too soon and dropped to his knees, the arrow passing narrowly by. In its wake, it sliced a thin line across the side of his head. The arrow embedded itself in the golden wall behind Diego. The empath ran to his friend's side. "Diego, are you all right?" Hisoka touched the wound that his arrow had made. The blood was minimal, but the flow was steady and despite the thin line, rivers ran down the side of Diego's face and mingled with his long black hair.

The Angel of Life let out a breath and nodded. "I'm all right. I know you didn't mean it." The angel put his hand over the wound in an attempt to use pressure to get the bleeding to stop. It should've already stopped, actually, which is what made Hisoka so worried.

"You filthy angels!"

Hisoka and Diego whirled around to see Kira holding a struggling, bleeding Velken down at sword point, the crimson life essence slowly sinking into the golden floor. The demon was rambling. "You think you are so pure, so pious and righteous! You do not know of those who suffer for mistakes in life that they could've rectified! You don't know the pain they go through for the rest of eternity just because they didn't understand anything and were ignorant!"

"Silence, Velken!" Kira shouted, twisting the sword so that Velken yelped in pain. "God will be your judge. He will decide your punishment and I pray that it's worse than your current one."

Velken growled, flinching in pain before he tried speaking up again. "You don't know how much we don't want to be these ugly creatures who watch as you angels, you who made the same mistakes and were accepted just because you had misfortunes happen in your lives! You're not the only ones who have made those mistakes and have had such shit happen to them along the way! You're not the only ones who were forced into something! Why are the same experiences ranked differently!? We didn't choose to be like this!"

Hisoka shivered as he heard those words, causing Diego to place a comforting hand on his shoulder, giving the empath a gentle squeeze. Hisoka stared at Velken. Such a sudden change in attitude. It seemed that first he had wanted Hisoka just to get rid of him. Out of jealously? Pure unadulterated hate? Or was it, by chance, that someone had ordered him to? It wasn't unlikely.

"Who told you to prosecute me?" The teenager eventually asked, looking into Velken's cold blue eyes.

The demon looked back and there was that hatred again. But something else as well. Hisoka couldn't be sure of it, but it looked almost like... sympathy. The empath shook his head. He didn't want to think like that. Why would a demon ever be sympathetic for him?

"Because _he_ told me to," the attorney finally muttered.

"Who is '_he_'?" Diego asked, coming up beside the demon, holding his head to heal his wound. "Answer me."

"He who drinks the blood of a thousand men..." Velken's eyes turned back to Hisoka.

Diego knelt down by the fallen demon, a stern look in his violet eyes. "Tell us."

Velken coughed, a trickle of blood trailing down to his chin. "Kurosaki already knows. He has always known, but denied it..."

The empath's eyes widened for a split second before they evened out again and the teen stood up. One of his hands clenched into a fist, shaking. Diego looked at the hand, worried. "Hisoka..."

"Velken," the voice was cold as ice as the empath spoke. The tone was commanding and full of anger. "You have cloaked yourself in an angel's guise, sneaking into Heaven, and you didn't even do it for yourself. I pity you." The tone went deeper and the wings burned bright red. "I pity your form and your ignorant, self-loathing qualities, always wanting what's considered 'better' and chasing after illusions created by your own greed."

Hisoka put his head up. Shocked green puddles from before became icy daggers. "You are disgusting."

Silence hung into the room for a long moment. Then Hisoka turned and ran.

"Hisoka!" Diego called after him. "Where are you going!?"

"To that monster!"

"Wait!" Diego jumped up and ran out after the teenager, catching up with him in no time. "I'm coming with you." He held out his hand.

Hisoka glanced to the side, looking at the Angel of Life. His friend. His comrade. His brother in arms.

He took the hand. "Thank you."


End file.
